On the Edge

I’m standing on the edge again. Wasting time, stalling. I can’t seem to figure it out yet. What brought me to this dusty old building in the first place and why didn’t I run as soon as I realized where I was. Some things it seems I will never understand. And if I never will what is the point in trying to?

Their footsteps are nearing, they sound like elephants romping over brittle wood planks. One more step and it’s my doom. One right jump and I just bought myself some more time. There are too many decisions to make that cause to much reaction. What will I do. Christian always told me I was never the quickest to respond. I close my eyes.

“Gordan?” I’m furious, what is he doing here??

“Come on, Magic, I thought you could fly,” He says with a smirk. “oh wait ONLY I can!” I frown searching for the best way to hide my deep emotions because I really do need his help right now. In half a second I know the drill and I hop onto his back.

“Geez. Kid. Get heavier er somethen?” Gordan pretends to be strained. I roll my eyes then smack him hard on the shoulder.

“Shut-up. I don’t care about any of that right now.” Someone should have burned those words before they reached Gordan’s ears. Maybe those weren’t the right ones for this particular moment. His teasing wasn't actually about my weight and he knows very well that I know what he's really talking about.  

We were already in the air when I said it. And he of all people on earth had to be the only one to hear. Gordan stopped moving. Our upward velocity turned into a downhill drop ride.

“WHAT?” he screams over the cold air rushing at the sky. “YOU DON’T CARE? IS THAT WHAT YOU SAID?!”

I couldn’t believe it, Gordan was going to kill us both right now by letting us fall right out of the sky and he’s laughing?

“Ok, okay I’m sorry. I mean calm down. Or up I guess. Please don’t kill me, we need to talk about this,” I say, terrified out of my mind holding the last of my sanity to keep myself calm.

Gordan still smiles to himself I think, but I’m not sure. I’m not sure how Gordan really processes things actually. At least he starts to fly again.

Underneath us the city looks huge and tiny at the same time. There are tiny little multi-colored dots everywhere. Some are yellow, blue, green lighter shades of blue and yellow and a weird orangey color every so often. All those people I mean… do they really think they are something.

The thin clouds bold enough to be in the sky are misty blue, they sparkle like crystals and I glide my fingers through them. I forget about everything, who I am, why I’m doing this and about today. Then I remember that Gordan’s here too. And the unease finds a way back to me.

I don’t say anything and neither does Gordan. We fly the rest of the trip in silence until I feel his back muscles tense. “What’s wrong,” it’s me that speaks first. No response.