Published December 29, 2017
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139,521 Literary Works • 672,597 Reviews
At first, I wasn't sure what I was reading. Except as I went on I could tell. But that wasn't your fault, I'm just not very good at reading poetry unless it's a rhyming one. It brought to mind a scene in Les Miserables actually - the one where Jean Valjean is singing in the church asking if there's another way to go. That is if you've seen the movie. It's simple and straight to the point and very emotional. Congrats!
Hey Snowmonkey IvoryRose here for a review. I love the religious ties to the poem. I’ve been working on a story in which the main character is fearing judgement day for their sins. The use of envy was also very powerful. By repeating it you show that the prisoner still is sinning. He may regret whatever he did, but still can’t resist sin. The last line was perfect. It’s now that the prisoner learns his fate that he begins to beg God for forgiveness. Maybe you could’ve gone more in depth with the heaven and hell symbolism, but I thought you did a perfect job.
Thank you
Hey Snowmonkey IvoryRose here for a review. I love the religious ties to the poem. I’ve been working on a story in which the main character is fearing judgement day for their sins. The use of envy was also very powerful. By repeating it you show that the prisoner still is sinning. He may regret whatever he did, but still can’t resist sin. The last line was perfect. It’s now that the prisoner learns his fate that he begins to beg God for forgiveness. Maybe you could’ve gone more in depth with the heaven and hell symbolism, but I thought you did a perfect job.
I think this an absolutely fantastic poem. I could feel the sadness and the regret that the prisoner felt right before he was put to death.
I think the fear of death is what brought out this regret in him, which is saddening. For I'm not sure if I pity the prisoner or the man who is being put to death.
On a side note, the spelling of occurred is incorrect.
Although poetry is hard to correct since it does not follow any rules, I would still like to point out that "leaded" is incorrect and should be "led" instead.
There are some lines that stood out to me:
All in all, I think you have done a great job. This is a beautiful poem. Write more!
Cheers.
Thanks. I'll fix those few things you pointed out
Oh and my phone glitched out so putting leaded instead of led was accidental