Published July 3, 2017
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139,558 Literary Works • 672,608 Reviews
That was so cute! Hi! Iris here, you read my works so I am here to return the favor! I don't know much about poetry, but I don't have much too say, there are only two errors I can think of. In the last two sentences, the I is not capitalized! That's all!
~Iris
That was so cute! Hi! Iris here, you read my works so I am here to return the favor! I don't know much about poetry, but I don't have much too say, there are only two errors I can think of. In the last two sentences, the I is not capitalized! That's all!
~Iris
Oh thanks for mentioning that
Welcome!
Sorry my comment published twice. I don't know why it did that.
It's cool
Hello, E.E here for a possibly quick review and maybe some utter nonsense! Grim is here as well, drinking hot cocoa and being a slacker. *Grim looks over, glaring* So, lets get started.
So, the first thing I notice is that well, nothing! I noticed nothing wrong with the spelling or grammar and the whole poem flowed rather well. My favorite line would have to be "I need neither key nor locks." I don't have a real reason I just like the way it rolls off of my tongue.
Now is when I dissect your poem and see if I can't get its meaning right! So, in your poem you are telling us, the reader, that you have so many dreams, but you don't want others to soil them or down grade you for having them. You don't want to leave the dreams that you have and lose the things/people you love. So, you shall wait until you know that it is the right time to unleash your dreams upon the world ad show it what you got. But every dream that you have is for a special person in you life. Its about them, no?
Overall, I liked the poem and keep up the good work! Happy Halloween! I really need to go now Grim has souls to reap and he needs more cocoa. He has a problem, seriously. Cheerio and fruit loops to you!
I love my dreams and yes they can take me High!
I love your poem it looks beautiful, I see you have edit your poem
with your reviews, it looks very cool....you have talent!
I love reading books also! they let me escape from the reality for a while
I can drown in books
What are your favorite books? I like Harry Potter a lot!
I love the last line so much, I like it also that you're poem is about God....
Your poem is romantic and realistic too!
Well this was a quick review from Bree...
Hopefully it was a helpfull one
Thank you! I'm glad you liked it. I must say I love to read too, more than anything (eating chocolate might be an exception)
Well thanks again for taking your time to review my work.
Hi there snowmonkey9! This is the first piece I read from you and I really like it! I love the message and find it relatable. Keep writing, you have talent.
Thank you so much!
I love your poem, the shyness is extremely relatable as to the dreams, and I also like how it sound like rhyme. The wishing of those dreams coming true, is also something I feel from this poem. The idea of keeping their dream in a box, although its been used here and there it is still common. Some hold their dreams in boxes or as memories or have dream catchers, again great job on this poem I enjoyed reading it.
Thank you
Hi Snowmonkey9! I love the meaning behind this poem and the beat of it. The beginning and the end are great. However, in the middle is things start to not make sense. First, I don't know if you meant to spell steal of not, if so, I don't know if you noticed that you spelled still. I also feel like the sentence " And that just wont do" doesn't belong in this poem. Overall, this was BEAUTIFUL! OH MY JDKVNSIPUEFVBQPPVIUPRROHPAOHCPOAIHG!!!!! Have a beautiful day! Jesus loves you!
Until The End
-Ari
Thank you. God bless
Hi snowmoney9! Whatcha here with a quick review for a quick poem
I never though of writing a poem like this, but it's a great subject.
The first two lines don't seem to flow for me. Perhaps you could merge them a bit, like 'I keep my dreams in a small wooden box/high upon a birch wood shelf', or something.
For 'I need no key or locks', you can do 'I need neither a key or lock', or 'I need no key neither locks', or even 'I need no key, nor locks' ... you get the point? 'I need no key or no locks' simply doesn't sound right.
'my self' is actually one word, 'myself'.
You rhyme 'oo' words three times, whereas the rest twice, which I find strange, but that may just be me. Also, 'i' should be 'I'. You used both, so choose one!
A great poem, altogether. I must admit I love when poems rhyme. Keep writing!
~Whatcha <3
thank you very much. i will take your suggestions into consideration.
You're welcome - and don't think because I criticize you a lot means you can't write. It just means I trying to make something really good, great. You don't have to do what I say if you don't want to
I understand that thanks. Your review really helped
Hello, hello, gxldencrxwns here for a review.
I won't be able to say much about this because of it's shorter than normal length but every word counts, right? The vibes I'm getting from this are that the narrator loves someone and dreams about them, but he/she keeps them secret and waits for them to come true. I could be wrong, who knows? I didn't find anything wrong grammar wise, but in the fourth line, I believe still should be steal. And in the eight line, you forgot to capitalize an I. Other than that, great job!
Keep writing!
~gxldencrxwns
thanks