"Stay here, Leik!" My mother whispered frantically.
"No!" I forced out back to her. "Don't mom, don't!"
She touched her hand to the nape of my neck assuringly and wiped the hot tears from my cheek. "I'm gonna go run to find my phone, and I need you to stay here..."
I clung to her arm with both my hands. "You're not going out there, mom. You could get hurt..." My throat burned from the strain of both holding back my terrified sobs and the control of my quivering whispers.
"I need to call the police, and there's no phone in here..."
"Wait here with me!" I pleaded. "Please?"
She held my eyes with hers for a moment, then further bent down on her knees to kiss my cheek. "...I'll only be a second, sweety." She started backing away from me slowly, while trying to peel both my hands away from her arm. I wouldn't let go so easily, but she insisted... so I had to.
She first peered through the open slats of the closet doors in front of her; listening and vigilantly seeking any upstairs movement. . . It was quiet.
"I left my phone near the bed somewhere. I'm gonna go look for it, but in the meantime stay here... Stay quiet."
I could hardly see her through the pitch darkness of the closet, but with what little light was peeking in through the open slats, I could see the beyond serious look on her face. I sat there, frozen almost with intimidation from the situation. Some part way deep inside of me found it in myself to muster out a stiff nod. She looked away from me then cracked open the closet door with just enough space for her to crawl right out.
As she slowly shut the closet door back closed, I found myself backing further into the rear end of the closet wall. On edge of her leaving me, I curled up snug between the hanging leather coats and one of my dad's peniltons. My ears were perked. My attention entirely focused on the space closed up in front of me.
I tried to listen to see if I could hear her. I tried to listen to see if I could hear anything. . . All I got was a terrifying silence blaring in my eardrums. I plugged my ears with both my fingers in fear of what the next sound I'd hear would be. My eyes stayed open though, watching for movement from the tiny cracks of light in front of me. . . Someone was coming up the stairs.
Big, heavy, careful footsteps. . . I quickly switched the place of one of my hands from my ear to cover my mouth to help slow the panicky sound of my breathing. I didn't want to be heard where I was and blow the cover of mine and my mom's hiding spot. I wished though now that she would find her phone quickly and return to me. So that we could both be in the safety of our hiding place.
I heard a rustling of tinier footsteps rushing in the direction of my ears. Someone was coming my way now, and I knew it was my mom. I fled back to the closed doors of the closet and readied myself to let her back in.
"No. .," a rapid and fearful plead. "No!"
"Mom!" I nearly yelped before quickly slapping my hand back over my mouth. I was about to fling open the closet doors when the hugest, most piercing sound threw me back on my heels again, sending me immediately to the floor in a burst of fear.
It was gunshots. . .
I scooted myself all the way back into the rear end of the closet wall while pushing through streaming tears, falling frantically down both sides of my face. After the intimidating sound was over, the only sound that was left were the same heavy footsteps, now running away from my fatally injured mother. Intruder or no intruder, I had to get out of the closet now. I didn't really care much whether I were shot too. I needed to make sure my mother was okay. And I needed to call the police.
From out of the closet, my eyes immediately went wandering everywhere in each direction of the bedroom. Until I soon found the sight I was looking for.
"Mom?... Mom!?" I ran to the figure in the darkest part of the bedroom and fell down onto my knees quickly to see if she was okay. "Mom!? -Mom are you okay!?" I was yelling into her ears with all my strength.
"...Leik...," I heard her utter through a barely audible, crackled voice.
"Mom are you okay!? Tell me -please!" I stood up back onto my feet and ran to hit the lights in the room. I wish I hadn't've done that though. "Oh-... God..-" I ran back to her to look her in the face, rather than at her wound. But I couldn't keep my attention away from the now quickly forming pool of blood at my knees. "Mom, I'm gonna call an ambulance! Okay? I'm gonna get you help!"
With whatever strength she had left in her, she used it to shake her head no.
"Mom I have to! You're hurt!" I was now breaking into frantic sobs as I held her hand in mine and worked through getting out perceivable sentences.
"...Leik-"
I stared at her eyes, trying to hold onto her fuzzy contact as she attempted to speak. She squeezed my hand once tightly as she worked to get out one last deep, clear breath. "...I love you... sweety..."
I started to cry heavily now. "I love you too, mom -I'm gonna get you some help. I'm gonna call right now. . . Mom?" Her eyes were staring at me... but there was no one looking anymore. "Mom... Mom... Mom!!"
"Leiken! Leiken! -Sweetheart."
"Get away!" I screamed through panty shakiness filling my bones. After my eyes squeezed back open it was to find my dad sitting close up in front of me. I was in my bedroom. My light was turned on next to me.
"It's just a dream, sweety. Just a dream," my dad started to explain as he leaned down into me for a hug. I gripped him tightly around his shoulders with both my arms. Relieved that it wasn't all real. . . again. "You're alright, hun." He patted my shoulders in circles until the tension in my body was released, and I quit shaking. "Another nightmare?"
I backed away from him slowly to lay back down into my bed. "...Yeah."
He sat there for a minute, commentless. "I can stay here for a little bit... If you need me to." I knew inside I wanted him to. As for needed, well... I try not to think I still need him to after six and a half months of this. I couldn't deny though that I wanted him to stay here a little bit longer
"...Just until I fall asleep," I replied.
He nodded his head once after covering me back up with the comforter. "I'll stay as long as you want."
I closed my eyes reluctantly in attempt to meet sleep again. Otherwise if I didn't, it would only mean another tiresome day at school. And I knew I needed all the strength in me for school.
Around 7:00, I found myself up again. Only about three hours later from the time I awoke from yet again another hideous nightmare. Or... The same recurring nightmare, I should say. I brushed my teeth and got dressed and ready first before heading downstairs.
By the time I got downstairs, it was to find my brothers already seated at the dining room table eating their breakfast which my grandmother had cooked up. I could smell it all the way from upstairs. Today it was blueberry pancakes with scrambled eggs and bacon. The way my grandmother cooked, it was a dish to be reckoned with. I would surely be stuffed till lunch. Which for me would do me at least until I got home. Considering I'm not too fond of the cafeteria at my new high school.
I saw my plate ready at the table and went over to sit beside Alex and Michael. "Good morning, love," my grandma greeted.
"Morning," I said back.
"Morning, Leik," Alex greeted almost immediately after with a mouthful of pancakes. I smiled, then signed good morning to Michael. He smiled too, then happily signed back, also with a mouthful of pancakes.
My brothers, Alex and Michael, were twins. Although, one could hear and the other was born almost completely deaf. Michael was the one who was born with that misfortune. It wasn't all that bad though really. He was a bright kid for eight-years-old. And all but both my grandparents could fluently and comfortably sign with him. See, because only until about a month ago we recently moved here to Virginia to live with them. The long distance between us and my grandparents had kept them ill-practiced. But they were getting the hang of it quickly enough.
"Eat up, Leik. You want to be ready for when the bus arrives," my grandma said from the stove. I set down my backpack underneath the table and started eating at a pace to catch up with Alex and Michael. I needed to be ready when they were since their bus arrived first and I had to walk them to the stop in time.
"You alright, Leik?" Alex asked after a few minutes.
"Yeah Lex, why?" He shrugged, then continued to look up at me from beneath his lashes as he went on eating.
It had become sort of a habit for us all to worry about each other and how we woke up feeling each morning. My brothers and I kind of watched out for each other I guess. Considering we were all each other had when it came to where we lived now. Aside from that though, I knew he must've heard me hollering in my sleep again last night. I didn't want him to worry though. It was Monday, and we had a whole new week to press through.
Once we were finished eating, it was already about that time to start heading down the street toward the bus stop. Alex and Michael both got their coats on then we were on our way again. It seemed like this was all some kind of weird daily ritual now. Like there was nothing I could really ever fully remember being use to before.
For the past month or so this is what we'd been doing. Monday through Friday it's face school then come home. On the weekends it's either stay home or try and find something to do. There's never really any excitement anymore. Not to say that I'd be up for it. But, you know... it's nice to have choices sometimes.
"See you when you get home," I told them in a sign combo before they walked all the way onto the bus.
"See you, Leik," Alex said as he made his way up the steps.
"Bye Leiken," Michael signed. I tossed the I love you sign back at them both before the bus driver closed the doors behind them. I guess I felt okay sending them off on the bus to school alone. At least I knew they had eachother to watch out for.
They stuck their heads out the window to watch me fade away into the distance as they left for school. Not too far after, my own bus arrived. I hopped on and inconspicuously made my way to the back where no one really sat. (Except for me of course.) It was about a fifteen minute drive including stops, to my new high school -Meyers High. Every day I watched the same rowdy kids board and leave the bus to and from school. I guess you could say I didn't care too much for the bus. And it wasn't really too fond of me either.
Once I got to school, I had about ten minutes to kill before the first bell rang to get to class. During this time I usually sit alone on the steps near the stage. Guess you could call it the "loner spot". Anyone who didn't have many friends sat where I did. Which weren't too many people to be honest. It was a small town here. So nearly everyone knew everyone. Even if they weren't the most popular of kids, they still had more friends than I did. Which even though I wasn't the most social of people anymore, wasn't entirely my fault.
Small towns mean that once there's a new kid in town, their story gets passed around before that person has much time to introduce themselves on their own. Lucky me I had such an interesting "coming to town" story.
My first period was biology. My new lab partner, Eric, didn't seem all for the pairing. But it was the teacher's decision. So like him, I was also stuck with someone I didn't want to be paired with.
Second period, geometry, was also pretty lousy. I was great in math, so my teacher Mrs. Henderson tended to call on me quite a lot. Earning me even more "cool" points with the other kids.
Even though my class time isn't the best, I can't really complain too much I guess. It's not nearly as bad as spending break time alone as the new kid. Fifteen minutes of solitude versus fifty-seven minutes of busy class time. I pick the class time. During break I'm left to deal with snickering teens, pointing and looking my way as I sit alone reading a book or simply waiting idly until the time passes, listening to my iPod. While everyone else has friends to chat with, I'm left with that as my break past-time.
Third and fourth period are filed by history and p.e.. I stand corrected when I say class time is better than my break time. Nothing can be worse than p.e..
My lunch period isn't all bad, but it isn't my preference either. On the one hand I have someone to talk to. On the other, I have a full forty minutes of free time devoted to my daily counseling sessions with the school's therapist.
Her name's Ms. Wahlburg, but seeing how young she is she usually likes it better when people call her by her first name. So to me and everyone else it's Ms. Jenna. I guess you could say she's pretty nice. If it weren't for the whole counseling relationship, I might have a different outlook on her. But I know since we have daily sessions it's best not to get too friendly.
I guess I don't like it much -talking with strangers about my feelings. Or about the recent passing of my mother -that especially. To tell the truth, I actually haven't spoken much about it to anyone. Not even the last real therapist I had in Los Angeles. If anyone... only my dad has heard much of what I have to say about it. But even then, what I've said to him is only limited.
I know if he heard all there is in my head he'd feel as much pain as I did. And that's the last thing I really want; for him to feel even more sad than he is now. Waking up to my nightmares is enough of a burden on him. He's heard the stories before, about what I dream of. I know he can tell by the reaction of how I wake up, how bad that one night really was. And even then, he doesn't ask for any more than I tell.
I've never shared the story with Ms. Jenna. And after a months worth of sessions in, I'm not sure I'll ever tell her. Today was no different. All we ended up getting in really was how slowly I feel I've been adjusting to my new school, and how me and my brothers have both been at home. In my situation that wasn't really progress.
I left to class after which was my elective, ceramics. Then I had English 3 and school was over. I had to walk over to the front of the school where the buses were first. On the way of coursse, I got teasing little side comments focused on my name.
As I passed by a huddle of snobby jock boys, they had this little number to throw at me.
"Hey girl. My friend over her likey him some Liken!"
I swear to it... they honestly don't help the meat brain stereotypes in the least bit. I wasn't going to be the prudent one and correct him on the pronunciation of my name. I already assumed they wouldn't care. I ignored them and just left it as I got on to board the bus.
I found an empty seat near the back where I sat slant-ways to take up the whole seat. A few times I got people sitting next to me just for the fun of it. Just to try and prove to their other friends that they weren't too much of a jerk to sit by me. I wasn't the kind of person who so easily accepted charity though in taking up peoples' fake gestures of being nice. Even though I had nothing else to turn to. I'd rather be a loner than a sad story.
I could also very well see that real friends here wouldn't come easy. Maybe I'd have to start trying a little if I wanted to enjoy starting out fresh here in a new town.
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Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Hardly any grammar mistakes, A+ for that, but there was a lot of misempisization. (I think I just made that word up!). A lot of places where you empisized and it didn't need it. Also, you should meet my friend, the Comma. Here she is ,. And look, she brought some of her cousins. ,,,,,,,,,,,,,
When I used the pink color, I highlighted some places where you used this - instead of Comma. She's felling left out. Also, that makes for an appearence of sloppiness,
But make no mistake, I loved your story.
Hello there.
Write the full word.
Careful with your verb tense. You seem to switch a little bit from past to present. Keep it to past, since the rest of your story was in past.
Okay, so like I said, verb tenses were an issue at some part. It's confusing when you do that, so you should definitely try and make sure you stick with only one tense. But it's a common mistake and pretty much your only mistake.
The story seems great. Keep writing!
-Other One
Wow this is a very well-written first chapter. It really expresses how a child feels once a parent is lost. the dream got me kinda teary-eyed so bravo on that. if you can make the reader feel or simply bring up some emotions that accompany grief then there is truly something special to your writing. I love your description of the characters, the twins brilliant choice especially the deaf child. This story seems to see grief from all angles, the father, the grandparents, the little ones and Lieken who was actually present at the murder of the parent. I have no complains, simply positive words. Bravo, friend me and we can share some ideas or some works. I'm a newbie.