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139,511 Literary Works • 672,595 Reviews
I really loved this piece. the comparison you have, as though life's trouble really could be washed away with a shower, is great. You had a lot of cool details in here, like the Levi jeans. And the line where you said the jeans had molded you was cool. All in all, I just really enjoyed how you made it all seem so simple, as if everyone stands in front of a mirror at night and feels their hidden feelings disappear with the clothes of the day. It was so beautifully done.
And I really liked the rhyme, I didn't find any spots that sounded too forced or didn't rhyme well enough.
You did have a few minor mistakes, mostly with missing apostrophes. Don't forget that if you are talking about something or someone owning something you need an apostrophe. You were missing a few of those.
As for spelling, as far as I saw you're good.
Overall, wonderfully done, I enjoyed this and can't wait to see some more of your work. this piece was beautiful, true and simple in a complex way? Haja, if that makes any sense at all. Don't have anything else to say, just keep writing.
I enjoyed the poem. Thank you. In all honesty, I know not much else to say.
I'd like to add that I've actually liked your rhyming pattern. The style also felt smooth, natural, not forced. You did a pretty awesome job here!:)
Hey There!
I wont spend any time on grammatical stuff, because the other's have already got it covered(:
I just want to say that i felt it was kinda rocky in some parts. I mean sometimes i could really feel what you were saying, and i could really empathize with you, but in other parts i got lost. The rhythym was messed up and i couldn't really understand how you went from one stanza to the next.
Overall though, i loved the main idea and a lot of the lines were very well stated, with great imagery and emotion.
Keep it up!
-PurpleHeart
Hello. I am here to see what I can say about your lovely poem.
you mean the complexities belonging to life, so you want to say life's complexities...
I don't think you need a comma there, but it could be one of those things that's up to you...
That's all I have to say about grammar. I thought you got your message through clearly. I could see everything that was happening. (which is good) I liked it.
Keep writing!
So the comment above got the gramatical aspect of it all.
But I mainly just comment on how I like the work, because I'm not as good at grammar as others are.
So, I really like this! I love the rhyming and I love how you describe yourself and what you're feeling.
For instanse, how cold the bathroom is, and how you kick off your socks.
I also really like the word choice! It works perfectly and flows nicely!
I look forward to reading more of your work!
great job!
Great poem, I really liked it, despite my nitpicking. Sometimes I measure my life in showers, so I can relate to this poem. Just make it to the next shower, and everything will be fine. Great imagery and just a sort of fun poem. I know it sounds dark but something about it seems like dry humor to me. I don't know but I liked it.