The past few days or so, I've learned what truly it is to feel addicted to substance. It's the most terrible feeling ever to have to control. Especially with the level of urgency I have inside me which I'm obligated to repress. I've been keeping close track of my all too extreme, voracious breakouts. . .
At first, it seemed to repulse me -the thought of feeding off of a human for the thick, ruby red substance coursing through their veins. The very substance that keeps them living. The very substance I'm one to now sustain on. Now, after but only a few days, I feel no repulse whatsoever. Only pure animosity toward Theodore, who keeps me from my lust for human blood.
Oh! How I could just crush him with my bare hands!. . -Though in reality I cannot. He is stronger than myself. He's held me down to the floor with all the ease of but only one hand recently. Yesterday, actually. Whilst I was purely set on escaping out of the quarters of this home of his. That is how much I can no longer contain my own impulses. Nor in the moment do I feel as if I want to.
I feel deathly. I know what my body craves. He has not provided me with any at all! All that Theodore has sent my way are a few pints or so of this animals blood. Entirely unsatisfying! Like drinking the finest of liquors diluted. It nearly put a dent in my thirst! He musn't have a clue as to why I am so hostile this moment. His composure is always kept. And he seems wholly at ease with my impulsive behavior.
He'll leave me in this room all alone; when I begin calming down altogether for a few short moments. The shortest of moments these are... Until I then again begin to stir up my own trouble once more, fighting my way through to the now foreign outside world. He snatches me up within seconds of my impulse. -Hardly. More as though within a fraction of a second. He's quick, I must say. But he is all the more stubborn than I. I cannot stand that!
I need out. Soon! I haven't a care in the world as to what consequences I may meet in quenching the fire erupting in my throat. The burn on my tongue. My jaw is aching for the pleasure to puncture any one person! Just one. Then I may sustain evermore. I could possibly then learn to even cope with Theodore's silly diet. I just need but one. I need something!
The sun I know remains bright outside. It assures me I am imprisoned here in this home till night breaks. But even then though, under the close supervision of my "handler". Tonight shall be the first night I am let out. Once again to breathe in the fresh air I've lately been meaning to feel so detached from.
I've not given out many words to Theodore. My mind and body have just simply seemed to be off in another place. I know I am alone... It makes it all the more desolate knowing this. I feel terribly frightened all in my own sense. Therefore, I seem to shut down altogether. It of course makes no matter easier. I've simply been pondering at the thought, How does any vampire deal with this dark and lonely world? Who are their friends? Do they have family? What do they fill their life with in order to serve it meaning? I mean, if we are eternal, what is our purpose? Have we no purpose other than living the life of the soulless bloodsucking fiends that we are?
The room I have been staying in is filled with a library of books. Books of every sort; brilliant works. I've been trying so very hard in order to concentrate enough to read through one. I have the time of course. But like I have said... my body, my mind. I can hardly focus on any one thought. I try so harshly to keep myself straight. "In check". When I find the place in my mind that is still strong enough to try that is. But my emotions are heightened, and the thirst only grows stronger. This makes things difficult for me.
Writing down in this journal now has seemed to calm me just a bit since from the moment I'd first touched pen to paper. Perhaps. . . this Theodore fellow knows what he is doing with me. Perhaps he knew I could look to keeping a journal as an outlet for all else that troubles me currently. It sure seems to be working.
I only wish to one day be able to look back on these early entries and think to myself the progress I might have made since then. Hopefully, this dream of mine will be held true to me in the near future.
I suppose now I should set aside this journal. I should really go and talk a bit with Theodore. Mind my bad mood... There really are so many inquiries I have yet to make. I know I cannot sit here all day and night, pitying myself through my own words. A sad excuse for a man I would be if I did. My father taught me better, even in earlier days...
I am most positive he will answer any questions I hold, Theodore. He seems all too patient. Wise, too. I feel this motivation to speak suddenly. I hope this feeling lasts. I do not wish to provoke my inner lingering, blood-lustful thoughts. They seem to be making things all the more difficult for me lately.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,020 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
September Fourteenth, 1869
great
The past few days or so, I've learned what truly it is to feel addicted to substance. It's the most terrible feeling ever to have to control. Especially with the level of urgency I have inside me which I'm obligated to repress. I've been keeping close track my all too extreme, voracious breakouts. . .
At first, it seemed to repulse me -the thought of feeding off of a human for the thick, ruby red substance coursing through their veins. #FF0000 ">love the description The very substance that keeps them living. The very substance I'm one to now sustain on. Now, after but only a few days, I feel no repulse whatsoever. Only pure animosity toward Theodore, who keeps me from my lust for human blood. #FF0000 ">the beast grows. i like it
Oh! How I could just crush him with my bare hands!. . -Though in reality I cannot. He is stronger than myself. He's held me down to the floor with all the ease of but only one hand recently. Yesterday, actually. Whilst I was purely set on escaping out of the quarters of this home of his. That is how much I can no longer contain my own impulses. Nor in the moment do I feel as if I want to. #FF0000 ">all morals vanishing, good character growth
I feel deathly. I know what my body craves. He has not provided me with any at all! All that Theodore has sent my way are a few pints or so of this animals blood. Entirely unsatisfying! Like drinking the finest of liquors diluted. It nearly put a dent in my thirst! He musn't have a clue as to why I am so hostile this moment. His composure is always kept. And he seems wholly at ease with my impulsive behavior. #FF0000 ">very vivid imagery. im lovin this
He'll leave me in this room all alone; when I begin calming down altogether for a few short moments. The shortest of moments these are... Until I then again begin to stir up my own trouble once more, fighting my way through to the now foreign outside world. He snatches me up within seconds of my impulse. -Hardly. More as though within a fraction of a second. He's quick, I must say. But he is all the more stubborn than I. I cannot stand that! #FF0000 ">good
I need out. Soon! I haven't a care in the world as to what consequences I may meet in quenching the fire erupting in my throat. The burn on my tongue. My jaw is aching for the pleasure to puncture any one person! Just one. Then I may sustain evermore. I could possibly then learn to even cope with Theodore's silly diet. I just need but one. I need something! #FF0000 ">you can never stop at one!
The sun I know remains bright outside. It assures me I am imprisoned here in this home till night breaks. But even then though, under the close supervision of my "handler". Tonight shall be the first night I am let out. Once again to breathe in the fresh air I've lately been meaning to feel so detached from. #FF0000 ">ooh intriguing. very vivid once again, love this
I've not given out many words to Theodore. My mind and body have just simply seemed to be off in another place. I know I am alone... It makes it all the more desolate knowing this. I feel terribly frightened all in my own sense. Therefore, I seem to shut down altogether. It of course makes no matter easier. I've simply been pondering at the thought, How does any vampire deal with this dark and lonely world? Who are their friends? Do they have family? What do they fill their life with in order to serve it meaning? I mean, if we are eternal, what is our purpose? Have we no purpose other than living the life of the soulless bloodsucking fiends that we are? #FF0000 ">Ah great questions! i was thinking the very same. So far, excellent
The room I have been staying in is filled with a library of books. Books of every sort; brilliant works. I've been trying so very hard in order to concentrate enough to read through one. I have the time of course. But like I have said... my body, my mind. I can hardly focus on any one thought. I try so harshly to keep myself straight. "In check". When I find the place in my mind that is still strong enough to try that is. But my emotions are heightened, and the thirst only grows stronger. This makes things difficult for me. #FF0000 ">It is often the emotions that we fear we lack, that are the ones we try and hide ourselves from. Such as strength, spiritually speaking. Like not complimenting ourselves. I like this very much!!
Writing down in this journal now has seemed to calm me just a bit since from the moment I'd first touched pen to paper. Perhaps. . . this Theodore fellow knows what he is doing with me. Perhaps he knew I could look to keeping a journal as an outlet for all else that troubles me currently. It sure seems to be working. #FF0000 ">relationship growth; very good
I only wish to one day be able to look back on these early entries and think to myself the progress I might have made since then. Hopefully, this dream of mine will be held for me in the near future. #FF0000 ">not sure i understand the last sentence, maybe it's the wording. Do you mean that you want to be able to understand in hindsight?
I suppose now I should set aside this journal. I should really go and talk a bit with Theodore. Mind my bad mood... There really are so many inquiries I have yet to make. I know I cannot sit here all day and night, pitying myself through my own words. A sad excuse for a man I would be if I did. My father taught me better, even in earlier days... #FF0000 ">great!
I am most positive he will answer any questions I hold, Theodore. He seems all too patient. Wise, too. I feel this motivation to speak suddenly. I hope this feeling lasts. I do not wish to provoke my inner lingering, blood-lustful thoughts. They seem to be making things all the more difficult for me lately. #FF0000 ">great job!! Fantastic
Alden#FF0000 ">just a thought here; I was thinking that Arden may well be happy that his sister was killed and not turned into a vampire like him and end up thanking the vampire that killed his sister because he drained ALL her blood and not left any for her to transform into one of them. just a thought. interested?
#FF0000 ">A fantastic chapter 2! Great job. I wouldn't change any substance. maybe a few nitpicky wording but that is all. Im very interested in reviewing the rest. Great job