Published May 2, 2010
When I was five years old, living in North Carolina, I was stolen.
Stolen from my family. Stolen from my friends. Stolen from my life.
I was damned to hell by the monster we call Satan. The kid I used to be is no more, it’s been 11 years since that day, and now, I am a monster. I may look human but inside me runs cold blood, my eyes change from the brightest of blues to the darkest of reds. I am the monster that takes those who are evil down from earth to hell.
But Satan is on the move again. He is going to find a new monster and I have to stop him before he finds that poor kid and turns him into a Soul-Eater.
Its not finished but i want to know what you think before carrying on.
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141,397 Literary Works • 674,387 Reviews
Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),
Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!
Anyway let's get right to it,
Hmm...well this is interesting, I assume this is either the first few lines of the first paragraph or perhaps even some form of prologue or blurb. It could certainly quite safely pass for all of these things from what I can see here. At any rate, I'll simply consider this based on its premise here since it appears that's the sort of feedback you want here.
Soo..moving onto that this is a fun concept here. I don't believe I've seen anything quite along these lines before...and it does seem like it'd make for a pretty unique story...and it certainly does seem interesting, especially if we've got what appears to be someone who's somewhat succumbed to this horrible fate fighting against a pretty sizeable evil to stop another person from falling into things.
I don't quite know if you plan on showing the conditions this person was in first or you plan on diving in right to the main plot, but I think starting with those conditions would help sell the horror of this situation just a little bit better here.
Aaaaand that's it for this one.
As always remember to take what you think was helpful and forget the rest.
Stay Safe
Harry
Hiya!
I like this idea. This really isn't a beginning of a story, it's kind of like something you'd see on the back of a book. The summary. It invites me, though, if that was what you were going for. It really does seem interesting, and I would like to read it!
Go for it!
Classy
Well there's not much to go on, seeing as it's so short, but it seems interesting enough. I can't really tell how good it will be, or if it will be worth continuing. But the worst thing that can happen is you do it, it sucks and you move on right? If you do decide to continue it, feel free to pm me, and I'll review it for you
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