Cemetery writers

Hey, there! Thanks for sharing this short story. Whether or not it is a personal experience you're writing about, it has the distinct nature of being a personal story. The language it uses isn't super flowery or anything, but it feels genuine and sincere.

Between the title and the first few lines, it was easy to see that this is one person speaking from their heart to a loved one they've lost. It's the kind of experience that's a little different for everybody, and you showed that a little bit by mentioning two others, "shorty" and "blondie."

With simple words and plain, everyday language, you've done well in showing the difference the narrator feels after the loss of the person they loved. The narrator gives the us, the readers, a glimpse into what the relationship was like, and what the nature of the relationship was (romantic, it appears). I liked the way you said, "I've dated other people, but none of them fill the empty hole in my heart." That's so raw and relatable. And it really reinforces how special this person was.

It's good to see by the end of the story, that the writer has found a measure of healing. A lot of poetic writing on lost love ends with despair and sometimes unhealthy coping mechanisms. I like that this short story turns to a viewpoint that's brighter, even though it's still sad overall. It mentions turning away from self-harm, finding new friends and feeling comfortable with them, etc. Ideally, this is the kind of experience we all want to have when we go through something like this, and I'm glad to see it here.

Wrapping up, let me say I can sense the bittersweetness in this story. It's not overwhelmingly emotional, but it is there, the type of half-healed pain that lingers after some time has passed since the tragedy. And I can see that these two people had a nice relationship that was ordinary but sweet, and it meant a lot to them. Sometimes the stories of extraordinary romances can overshadow these everyday bonds between people, but these matter, too. Thanks for sharing it.

Well, keep up the good work with any/all of your other writing! Best wishes to you!

This was... heartbreaking.

Hey there, Rebel here for a short review from Team Pumpkin Spice Latte.

To start things off, this sounds like an elegy in the form of a letter to now-deceased loved one (it could also be someone who has broke up with the narrator, but all the signs point towards the final destination). I hope this was not written in reference to a real-life incident that happened to you. If it was, my deepest condolences to your loss.

Hey... It's been a while.

A year, maybe two or maybe even three yet you're not growing any older.

I've been doing good.. we've all been doing pretty good.

The first year was hard. It seemed to have brought us together at first but later we all fell apart without you.

It's been a hard time, especially for..you know, for shorty and blondie.

Especially shorty. He started hanging around the wrong group smoking and drinking not long after you've gone away and we all fell apart too.

It just didn't feel right without you there even tho it felt like you were staring at us all the time.

I miss you. I miss you a lot.

You know, when we first started talking I felt a little pressured since you were kind of impatient and wanted to be together so soon but I never regretted it.

I enjoyed our time together and you were the first person to accept me for who I really was even if it was something new for you.

I'm happy I was able to spend that tiny bit of time with you.

Even if all we did was just talk a bit and sit around.

You made me feel comfortable like no one else could.

For a moment you made me forget all the fear that was building up. I felt like I could talk to people again.

You made me interested in cars, but now I can barely look at them.

Riding a train once felt comfortable, but now, every time I see a train all I want to do is cry.

I dated some people after you went away but no one could fill the hole you left empty in my heart.

I closed it off with everything that you've left behind eventually.

I always wondered if it would've been different if I answered you earlier that night.

If I wasn't so tired and anxious that day.

If I texted you, told you to play games with me instead of going there.

Even though it was an accident I couldn't stop blaming myself.

And even though years already passed, I still do.

I'm doing better now.

I've found friends that make me feel comfortable, stopped smoking or self harming.

But I still miss you and I hope I can see you again.

But it isn't the time yet.

So until then, wait for me.

I'll come see you in heaven eventually.

I love you