Perfectly Imperfect: Chapter One

Just in case you didn't know, there is a prologue to this story! :)

Chapter One

WELL HELLO NEIGHBOR

I stared at the women before me, waiting for one of them to say something. Anything. I wasn’t sure if I was unawarely competing in a eye staring contest, but I was seconds away from screaming bloody murder. My nerves were already shooting through the roof and I didn’t need anticipation piling more on me. It may have sounded rude, but their assessments never mattered more than in this instant. I was in search of one word, and one word only.

“Beautiful, Nora,” my mother gawked, drying her tears with a tissue. Although it wasn’t the word I was looking for, tears gathered in my eyes. It was the first time that my mother said something like that to me in a very long time. I smiled at her, blinking away the moisture, shifting focus to my nineteen year old sister, Noelle.

Her hazel eyes were wide while a trace of a faint smile blended in with awe.

“Wow. You’re gorgeous, Nor,” she whispered. It was only for a moment, but I caught the desire in her eyes. To have this, what I was about to have.

Noelle wasn’t like me. She was always spouting off about how she didn’t need a man. Her beliefs on marriage weren’t the same as mine. I believed her exact words were, “fuck marriage. I cherish my freewill, thank you very much.” I had no response. And how could I? I just stared at her, mouth slightly agape, as she ranted off about marriage bringing her to the seventh circle of Hell.

Last, but certainly not least, I turned to my best friend since grade school, Elise. Her plump lips were pursed as she analyzed every inch of me. She may had barely been above five-foot-one, but I swore her stare could make a grown man cry, running for his mommy. I forced my eyes to stay on her, willing my feet to stay put. No matter how badly they wanted to bolt to the nearest dark corner and hide forever. My heart and squirming stopped when her blue eyes finally found mine.

“Perfect,” she breathed.

Bingo.

There is was, that word. I let out a breath of relief. I felt the joy spread throughout my body like a wildfire and smiled as far as my lips would stretch. I hadn’t even looked at myself yet. This was my first fitting for the dress. My wedding dress. The dress I had been imagining for as long as I could remember.

All of it felt so surreal. Like I was in a dream and any second I was going to wake up fifty years old, thirty pounds heavier, bag of chips in hand. Not to mention, all alone, surrounded by twenty plus cats. I briefly imagined “All By Myself,” the Celine Dion version, playing in the background. I shuddered at that scary thought. Please don’t let this be a dream.

I inhaled deeply and bit my lip. I turned around with closed eyes, calculating when I would be ready to look at myself. It was then that I realized I’d never be ready for this moment. I sucked in a breath and opened my eyes.

They were right. I was beautiful. The dress was absolutely perfect. The fabric embraced my curves graciously. It flowed seamlessly to the floor, almost seeming never ending. My eyes floated up the dress, drinking in every little detail, landing on my face. I stared into my brown eyes, carefully expressionless, not prepared to show my reaction just yet. Something felt wrong. Something I couldn’t quite place, but I felt it’s stab to my heart. But why? This dress was practically an exact replica of what I had always fantasized about showing off on my wedding day. It was Vera Wang for crying out loud!

Perfect, I reminded myself, it’s perfect. Frustrated tears welled in my eyes, threatening to spill over. I took another deep breath, plastering a small smile on my face. I needed them to think that these were oh-my-God-I’m-getting-married tears. They couldn’t find out what I was really feeling. Even though I had no idea what it meant. Or for that matter, what it was.

I could nearly feel myself tearing in two. One side that was trying to convince me that everything was adequate and that the dress was indeed perfection. My other half whispering doubts and madness. Things like, Are you ready? Do you really love him? Are you making a mistake? All lies. Of course, I was ready. Of course, I really loved him. I was not making a mistake.

Was I?

I understood only one factor. I was at war with myself. So far every reassuring thing I thought, flung the ambiguity right back, punching me square in the jaw. I had been engaged to Parker for two months already. Why the sudden fear and uncertainty? Besides he was perfect. How could anyone not want to marry him? Or be nervous about it?

Maybe every bride went through this. I slightly relaxed at the thought of it just being anxiousness and that I was not alone in feeling these preposterous feelings. There was no other explanation. I mustered up a smile, finally able to face the girls. Derek, the sales person who had been helping me since day one of the dress searching, whistled.

“Oh, girl, look at you. Such a precious thing. That boy is going to have some trouble breathing when his eyes land on you.” The second I met Derek I knew I would love him. He was amazing and had the best compliments at his fingertips. I wanted to take him home with me so he could cheer me on for everything I did. I mentally sighed, if only. I banished my disheartened thought and found a genuine smile buried beneath.

“Well, I could not have done it without you, Derek,” I said. He waved a hand in the air to dismiss my praise of him. His modesty only made me love him more. In the short time I had known him, I quickly learned of his bashful tendencies. Not once was there a time where he accepted one of my compliments. Instead he looked at me with a face that told me I was being ridiculous and needed to stop.

My mother cleared her throat, rather obnoxiously. I stopped myself from rolling my eyes.

“Of course not without you three either!” I exclaimed, a little more enthusiastically than I had intended. My mother pretended to blush as though she didn’t just force those words out of my mouth. I did mean them, but more towards Elise and Noelle.

When it came to Noelle and Elise, well, they were my girls. I loved them both dearly. Elise my first friend and Noelle, my sister. Which made it all the more difficult to make the decision of who would be my maid of honor. In the end I couldn’t choose. I let them make that decision. They came to the conclusion that Elise would be the best option because Noelle was only nineteen after all. They also decided Noelle would be my maid of honor in my next wedding. In which they both received well-earned, soul murdering glares.

“Baby girl, looks like they did an excellent job alternating that dress when you came in last time. We only have a few adjustments to make. Whenever you’re ready to go, let me know and I’ll help you out of it, Boo.” This time I sighed aloud. My wonderful Derek. He just always made me feel so damn important. I didn’t feel like taking so I grabbed his hand, pulling him into the dressing room with me.

My next fitting would be in about four weeks. I finally shooed away the horrible thoughts I had earlier. The unsettlement I felt in the pit of my stomach remained, but I knew I could reel it in. Thankfully. There wasn’t much I could hide from Elise. If my doubts were as strong as they were earlier, Elise would have caught onto my aberration. It was like she had Nora senses.

We walked out together and my mother almost squeezed the life out of me with her hug.

Deathly hug.

“Oh, sweetheart, you are going to be such a beautiful bride. Of course, there is still so much to do. Please tell me you’ll do something with this hair of yours before the wedding?” There was always something to change with me. No matter what, I was never perfect enough for her. I strongly believed I never would be.

“Sure, Mom,” I mumbled. She pulled back, smiling as much as her Botox would allow her to.

“Well, Noelle and I have to get going. Otherwise we’ll be late for Gersinger’s event at the club.” I nodded, regardless of knowing damn well Noelle was not about to go to that event.

If my mother hadn’t been so focused of my perfection, she probably would have paid more attention to Noelle’s appearance. Which would have given her a heart attack. Noelle had recently dyed her hair red. Bright, fire hydrant red. Her eyes were always hidden beneath piles of black makeup. She had many body parts pierced. Parts that I wasn’t even aware you could get pierced. And tattoos. Lots and lots of tattoos.

Don’t get me wrong, my sister was beautiful. She had always been the prettier one with the more voluptuous body. Bigger boobs, curvier hips. She was the girl guys were always ogling, begging for her attention. Ever since she was sixteen. It had only been three years, but it was when she was eighteen when she changed her appearance to what it was now. When she began her collection tattoos and piercings, and dying her hair bright, random colors.

The funny thing was, none of those things made her look scary or weird. They made her even more beautiful. Sexier. So when we walked past guys, Noelle in her mini skirt and cropped tank top that showed off her pierced belly button, I completely sympathized with the drool running out of their mouths. They just couldn’t help themselves.

I hugged Noelle goodbye and watched my mother and her get into a cab. Noelle immediately plugged in her earphones and my mother immediately lost in her e-mail. The communication between those two was minimal these days. Unless others were around, they barely acknowledged one another. I shook my head at them and turned to smile at Elise. Who did not return my smile. I kept my poker face, even though I knew I was busted. I turned in the other direction and began walking. She followed, beginning the interrogation.

“What was that back there, Nora?” She asked, raising an eyebrow at me. I responded by creasing my brows, playing it off like I had no idea what she was talking about. When in doubt, act oblivious to all and everything. My new motto, “I know nothing!”

“What was what?” I asked innocently, staring up at a suddenly very interesting cloud in the sky. Elise saw right through my phony act. She elbowed my ribs to make me look at her. I made the mistake of doing so. I rubbed the spot she elbowed me in, glaring at her. My glare had no affect on her whatsoever. She raised her eyebrow, impressively higher, breaking me. I briefly closed my eyes, sighing exaggeratedly.

“Honestly, I don’t even know. I just felt weird,” I vaguely explained.

“Weird, how?” Elise pressed. I shrugged.

“I don’t know how to explain it. I think I was just nervous. Sometimes it’s hard to believe this is really happening, you know?” I answered truthfully, yet simultaneously avoiding the truth. I glanced over to find her nodding in agreement.

“I know. I can not believe you’re getting married before me,” she shook her head. My mouth dropped open in exasperation.

“Hey!” I glared at her. She began laughing and I eventually joined in. She shook her head again, this time serious.

“Well, I believe it. I get that it’s your thing to overanalyze every. Itty. Bitsy. Detail. But, God, Nora! Get a grip, would you? That brain of yours need to wrap around the concept that he loves you and you love him. And that’s that. There is nothing else because your love for each other is the only thing that matters. There’s absolutely no reason for you to be nervous about this, hun.”

I stopped walking and hugged her.

I didn’t care if there were people behind me, I needed to hug my best friend. We both thoroughly ignored the angry grunts from people passing by. Those feelings from earlier had been completely released and I felt much better. Elise was right, I had nothing to worry about.

Once we finished embracing, Elise had to rush to work. Even though it was Saturday, leaving me all by my lonesome. I was about to call Parker when I heard my phone ringing “Bloom” by The Paper Kites. I couldn’t stop the ridiculous smile from spreading on my face at the ringtone I set especially for him. It was amazing what he could still do to me after a year.

“Hi, baby.”

“Hi, babe. I was hoping you’d be done. How did the dress fitting go?” He asked. Well, I had doubts about us and freaked out. Nothing to write home about. Elise only had to convince me that everything was okay. The words jumped into my mind before I could stop them. I took a deep breath and answered.

“It was great! The dress is beautiful. Perfect. I can’t wait for you to see it!” I made sure to add extra peppiness to my voice as I rushed my words. He laughed softly.

“It’s not the dress. It’s who’s in the dress that makes it perfect and beautiful. So, I have no doubts that it is.”

Yes, I was twenty-four, but that certainly didn’t stop the tween girlish giggle escape from my throat. This man has had me swooning since day one and I believed it would continue to be that way for the rest of our lives.

“I love you,” I sighed happily. It was the only answer that popped up in my head for a compliment like that.

“I love you, too. What are you doing now?”

“Well, I was thinking I’d stop by your place maybe. And we could have some fun.” I suggested, hoping I sounded seductive enough for him to understand the message I was sending. He groaned just listening to my proposal.

Message received.

“As much as I would enjoy that, you forget my brother is visiting this week. I’d come to your place, but I can’t leave him alone. I don’t trust him.” Parker’s brother was the same age as mine. Sixteen. I understood completely.

“I forgot he arrived today. Well, I hope you two have fun. Can I come over to meet him tomorrow?”

Parker’s family lived in California. They couldn’t afford another trip over here with the wedding and refused my offer to purchase them tickets. It’s why I hadn’t met them yet. I had talked to his mother over the phone numerous times though. I really couldn’t wait to have a mother-in-law who, “adored” me. Her words tugged at my heart. She hadn’t even met me yet and she showed more affection for me than my own mother had in my entire life.

Parker’s brother, Kevin, was apparently extremely difficult. He would never admit it, but I could tell he was embarrassed for me to meet the kid. Parker filled me in on all of the stunts Kevin had pulled and the trouble he had been hanging around. I knew he was embarrassed for me to meet the kid.

“Babe, I’d love for you to met him, but I don’t know. Maybe you could stop by later this week, once I get a full understanding of his crazy teenager emotions?”

“Okay. But I’m really going to miss you this week. Especially tonight.” I made absolutely sure he could hear the desperation in my voice. He groaned again. I smiled.

“We’ll just have to make up for it next week. I gotta go, babe. I’ll call you tomorrow. I love you. Bye.” I sighed as I shoved my phone into my purse. I instantly felt stupid and guilty or having the feelings I had earlier. I loved this man more than anything. Our unity in marriage would only increase that love. I knew ahead of us was a bright and fulfilling future.

Since I had nothing else do to I decided to treat myself to a girls night. Or should I say girl night. I dropped by my favorite spa to get a mani-pedi. Along with a massage, which I rarely ever splurged on. It was worth every penny. There wasn’t a single tense muscle in my body by the time they were finished with me. If I knew what it was like to be high, it would probably be this feeling. Floating in the clouds.

Afterwards I stopped by the store to get my favorite ice cream, Cherry Garcia. Before I knew it I was sitting on the couch with tears streaming down my cheeks watching the ending of The Notebook. I was instantly reminded of the first time I met Parker. My plan was to do just this. Sob while shoving spoonfuls of ice cream down my throat as I watched Allie and Noah’s story.

Granted this time was much different. This time I was crying because of the movie, not because of my pathetic love life. Which was delightedly no longer pathetic. I popped in When Harry Met Sally..., a much lighter romance filled movie. My favorite scene being Sally’s fake orgasm in the restaurant as she talks about sex with Harry. If that scene couldn’t make me laugh on my worst day, nothing would.

I found my eyes drooping shut at the end of my second movie, ready for sleep. I cleaned up quickly, brushed my teeth and threw on some lingerie. Completely meant for Parker, even though I knew he wasn’t coming tonight. I guess I hoped he would change his mind and join me. I collapsed on my bed, exhausted. However, the moment my head hit the pillow, I no longer felt like sleeping.

Instead I laid in bed sexually frustrated.

Since we didn’t live with each other, Parker and I only got to be together like that on the weekends. My inner thighs were burning with longing sensations only Parker had the ability to take away. I hadn’t had to take care of my sexual urgencies myself since I’d been with Parker. There was no way I was about to break that streak now. I turned to my side, eventually fading into sleep.

Only to be awakened by blasting music coming from my new next door neighbor.

I jerked up into a sitting position and glanced at the clock. Four in the morning. I slept for two hours. I knew the person just moved in, but you’d think they would have some form of respect for the people surrounding them.

I tossed and turned, unable to fall back asleep with their blaring music still going. Another hour had passed by when I couldn’t take it any longer. I huffed in frustration and threw the covers over me. I didn’t care if they just moved in, I was not going to settle for this. I grabbed my robe, roughly pulling it on, and marched out the door to confront the obnoxious person.

I pounded my fist on the neighbor’s door, hoping they could hear me through the music. I must have banged on it for five minutes straight before someone finally answered. It swung open revealing a... whoa. Well, hello neighbor.

To use the words ‘beautiful’ and ‘disheveled’ to describe one thing probably made no sense at all. This man, however, was beautifully disheveled. And I had no objections to this lovely contradiction standing before me.

His chestnut brown hair was sticking out in all different directions. It screamed, I just had sex and I don’t give a damn what you think. His eyes were a striking emerald green that were sure to have any woman begging for mercy. Women would probably form a line to be under his spell. When I was finally able to remove myself from this trance his eyes had me under, I realized something very important.

Distracting me with the various tattoos swirling over his muscular body, which glimmered with sweat. He was wearing basketball shorts and sneakers. He must have been working out. When I finally snapped out of it, I noticed his stance. His arms were crossed and eyebrows were raised, like I was the one being disruptive. A switch flipped in my brain returning the original feeling of vexation.

“Do you know what time it is?” I meant to sound fierce, instead I felt like I sounded small and weak. His eyes radiated amusement as he watched me. I involuntarily shifted uncomfortably. A corner of his mouth lifted.

“I know what time it is, darling. Do you? What if I had been sleeping? You barge over here pounding on my door, interrupting my Sunday morning. Kind of rude, don’t you think?” His voice was husky and contained a southern drawl. It was hands down the sexiest thing I had ever heard. But that didn’t mean this guy wasn’t being a jerk. My mouth dropped open as I registered his words. Now, I definitely had objections.

“You have got to be kidding me! You are the one blaring music at the freaking crack of dawn. You woke me up! I came over to demand you turn it down,” I fumed. Then he laughed. He freaking laughed at me! My hands balled into fists. I had never in my life had the compulsion to punch someone. Until now, that was. He lifted his brows, still highly entertained by my reaction. “Demand I turn it down? Let me ask you a question, darling. Am I in my apartment?”

“Yes, but-” He cut me off.

“Did I have the door closed?”

“Yeah, but-”

“Exactly. This is my apartment. If I want to listen to music at five in the fucking morning, guess what? I have every damn right to. As far as I’m concerned you’re the only one who can hear it. I haven’t received any other complaints. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a busy day ahead of me.”

The next thing I knew I was staring at his closed door. Which he slammed in my face. I was frozen in shock. I couldn’t believe what just happened. And what an asshole my new incredibly hot neighbor was. I composed myself, huffing as I slammed my door. Sleep was definitely not coming back for me now.

I leaned against my door completely peeved by my jackhole of a neighbor. He said everything so lightly, too. Even if he hadn’t slammed his door in my face, I wasn’t sure I’d know hot to respond. I slumped to the floor wondering how I was going to handle sexy, jerk of a guy, neighbor. My thoughts briefly pondered to finding his power source and shutting it down. I smiled to myself, imagining it. Him in the middle of his workout then, BAM! No power, no music!

I jumped, startled by a knock at my door. I slowly stood up, unsure of who it would be. I secretly hoped other neighbors had awakened, ready to revolt with pitchforks and torches in hand. I peeked out the peephole, my hopes disintegrating before they ever really had a chance. How wonderful. I quickly debated what to do. Don’t answer? Answer? I mentally sighed as I opened the door. Stupid jerk. I raised my eyebrows and crossed my arms, not speaking a word to the jackhole who was my neighbor.

“I forgot to introduce myself,” he smiled crookedly at me. My jaw was twitching to drop open in outrage. Introduce himself? Who was this guy? I stared at him blankly for a few moments due to the fact that he had briefly rendered me speechless. Then I unattractively snorted in disbelief.

“When were you planning on introducing yourself? Between laughing at me or slamming your door in my face?” I deadpanned. But no, he did not look ashamed. His mouth curved into a sly smile as he rolled his eyes at me. Oh. My. God. I was never going to marry Parker because I was going to go to jail for life after I murdered this guy!

Deep Breaths, Nora.

Be Zen.

“Okay. I probably shouldn’t have done that. So, let’s start over. I’m Callum Thayer, your next door neighbor.” He reached out to shake my hand. I stared at his hand for a few seconds contemplating what I should do. Scrupulously ignoring that part of me that wanted to shake his hand just to touch him. I shook away that thought, moving onto the possibilities that were weaving their way through my mind. I was an adult, so I decided to do the only adult thing I could think of.

I slammed my door in his face.

Yeah. Not so funny now, is it?

I reopened the door after I felt satisfied enough, only to be greeted by, yet again, an amusement lit face. Although I was strongly resisting the urge to smack him, I rolled my eyes.

“I needed to get that out of my system. Now we’re even. I’m Nora Duval.” I reached out to shake his hand. His smile widened as he chuckled at my behavior. The moment our hands made contact I felt something. It wasn’t a shock or tingle. It was something I couldn’t explain, but it made my stomach roll with crashing waves causing my pulse to quicken. I let go before our hand shake meant more than a hand shake.

I mentally flogged myself for feeling anything. I was engaged to Parker. My body wasn’t supposed to react that way with anyone other than Parker. Parker was beyond perfection and it was clear as day that this guy was the complete opposite. Callum Thayer was an asshole. And why would I ever want an asshole over Parker? I wouldn’t, because that would be idiotic. I knew better.

“Nice to meet you, Nora.” Callum, surprisingly politely, responded. I almost raised an eyebrow at him questioning his nice words. I was about to answer when he leaned in dangerously close, throwing me off guard. “Darling, if you visit me wearing that little number more often, I promise to be a whole lot nicer than I was this morning.” He winked and off he went, leaving me in shock. Again.

With my jaw hanging open for the millionth time, I glanced down at my attire. In my livid need to order him to turn down his deafening music, I forgot to actually close my robe. I stood before Callum in my sheer laced, navy blue babydoll that barely covered it’s matching underwear.