You will need:
*5 things (any thingy will do!)
*half a cup of bling king fling
*2 teaspoons of fine crystal mashing ling
What to do :
1.Boil 3 things in hot water.(watch for your 'fingies')
2.Go outside and catch 3 young 'thinglings'.
3.Add the boiled things to young 'thinglings'.
4.add 2 teaspoons of fine crystal mashing ling.
5.Stir well.
6.keep stirring...
7.POOF (you will notice that your thing mashing has exploded)
8.Cry over the five minutes you wasted on reading this ,while drinking a cup of bling king fling 
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
This is extremely stupid, I totally hate it, it's boring, senseless, useless, uncatchy- need I say more?..and it's a complete waste of time.
SBS, I don't like what you wrote, BUT- I think you can do better.
Recipes are not your thing, so don't even try THAT.
Always remember, Big Sis knows best.
Wishing you the same things I wrote on your wall!
Alpha
i'm not sure what this is about?
is it a recipe?
i like the last line though!!
you have a good sense of humour!