I thought the basic idea of it was pretty good, you just need to smooth out the bumps, like Hekategirl said. It was kinda up and down and all over the place, and kind of confusing. But, with a little work, I think you could make it really something.
For EJ. I love you, girl.
Will I ever tell you how I
Really
Feel?
You find it easy to
Express
But I am not so lucky.
You will probably never really know how
Hard
It was to tell you
Hard
To spit it out.
Fate has not been
Kind
To us, has never
Understood
And probably never will.
But now there is
Nothing
To be done, is there?
Fate has made its choice.
You probably know how
Hard
It is to recall
Hard
To imagine
The days long past.
I can barely remember
Our
Memories.
*************
I'm trying a new type of style, tell me what you think.
I thought the basic idea of it was pretty good, you just need to smooth out the bumps, like Hekategirl said. It was kinda up and down and all over the place, and kind of confusing. But, with a little work, I think you could make it really something.
I like this poem, the first beginning lines were nice, it started the poem off very well.
But it seemed a little bumpy in the middle and towards the end. But it was an O.K poem to read.
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