Dreamt

Hey there Skye! This is Alex, a reviewer who's been scanning old poetries with criminally less reviews. But given your comment on it, I believe you need something else. Time for some praise!

I really don't get the embarrassment to be honest, I wrote much worse poetry when I started. This is not bad AT ALL. Does it need some editing? Sure but so do the best works at times, you've got nothing to worry about. The imagery is this poem was so engrossing that I never wished to stop reaching. It's painfully unfiltered, the love is practically brimming like sunshine.

The pace is beautifully slow and the actions so smoothly described. There's a sense of calming peace when the poem starts and a yearning when they long to be with their lover, but alas that is fantasy. In their desperation, comes a change of emotion- violence. They're breaking and destroying things in an effort to be free of this pain of having to stay parted. The heartache is so flawlessly portrayed. The second last lines even cover metaphors, something the poem had been missing up untill now. The ending is a harsh slap into reality, waking the reader from the dream they started in. Simply amazing!

Here's a rephrasing anyways to show how little needs to be changed to make it good by classic standards-

I drifted deeper into my soul.
Swept over me in folds,
Rocking me softly to sleep.
As I loitered on the edge of consciousness,
I thought I saw your face above me.
Suddenly, I tried to get back to you,
To reach you.
I thrashed and twisted
Trying to break free.
But sweeping tendrils of softness
Had now became solid bands of iron,
Dragging me farther away from reality.

Ew. So this is what I wrote like three freaking years ago. *cringes*

Please. No crits. Just let this one die.

Loved the wording. I gave me a great image of the poem. Nice job!

Hey
Ya this poem is very cool. I loved the first line good stuff!

Wow, I like it.

Reads really well and has deep meanings.

Especially the last two lines.

I really like! its very powerful and it has a good rythem, very nice.

Everything that they said! I liked it for all those reasons!

I really like the rhythm of the poem. It's well written and the words used are interesting too.

very nice, as everyone else said, you can really visualize it and feel it. Keep up these nice poems, you are really great!

Yeah, I could visualize it very well. It was very cool, I like it. Very strong poem and has good words.

Very nice. It gives a very strong picture.