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Chapter One

by SkyVibes


Ashlyn is far from your average 17-year-old blonde. With dragon wings on her back, eyes that burn a fiery red, and the ability to summon flames with a thought, she’s anything but human.

As she journeys through the mysterious world of Airleeniar, Ashlyn must navigate the complex web of friendships, secrets, and dangers that surround her. In a land where she’s feared as a monster and coveted as a prize, survival means learning who to trust—and who wants to use her for their own gain. After all, few can resist capturing a Dragonoid.

The only question that remains: Will Ashlyn’s wings carry her to freedom—or into the claws of those who would see her destroyed?

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Ashlyn sat on the roof of the old two-story house as her red eyes drifted over to the nearby town’s children play in the distance. She couldn’t help but smile-not because of the joy the children radiated, but because of the way the warm afternoon sun shone on her back, the way the air seemed to play with her long blonde hair. And especially by just how amazing the crisp air was for her to fill her lungs with. It was so boring staying cooped up inside for a whole week while it rained. It felt like a prison just waiting for the sun to show its face, and now finally it had and not even the children could help themselves with the welcoming weather.

Ashlyn adjusted her weight, her dragon wings stretching out some as she relaxed into a reclined position with her hands folded behind her head. She closed her eyes as she listened to the birds singing in the oak tree beside the house. She didn’t appreciate the squirrels disrupting the songs with discarded acorns, but to hell with it. Let them enjoy the weather too, she thought.

“Ashlyn!” A familiar voice called out, breaking the peace even more.

Ashlyn sighed. Why must someone always interrupt her, she wondered. Reluctantly she slowly sat up with another sigh before standing up and walking to the edge of the roof. “Up here!” She called back, both hands on her hips. “What could you possibly need?”

A pair of blue eyes looked up at her, concern shining through the brown bangs that concealed them. “Ashlyn! What are you doing up there?” Brandon shouted.

“I’m taking a break.” She replied nonchalantly. She glided down effortlessly, landing beside her long-time best friend. “Why? You aren’t worried about me falling, are you?” She playfully teased.

“Of course I am!” He replied. He gestured to the roof, “All it would take is one good gust of wind to catch your wings and you’ll be on the ground unconscious-if you’re lucky!” He said, his hand down pointing at the ground in front of their feet.

Ashlyn rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. Humans, her mind scoffed, were always so preoccupied with their bodies and the worry of injuries. “It’s fine, Brandon. It’s not like I haven’t done this before.”

He sighed and looked at her, his hair gracefully covering his eyes as it usually did. “Yeah, I know. But I just don’t want you to get hurt.” He admitted.

“I’m not going to get hurt, silly.” She said as she walked towards the door, playfully nudging his arm as she passed. She looked back at him before entering the house, “It’s time for lunch, right? That’s why you were calling for me?”

He nodded and started following her, a faint smile breaking through his serious expression “Yeah, peanut butter and jam sandwiches for lunch.”

Ashlyn couldn’t help but chuckle, “I’m sure Felix is so excited for lunch.” She said sarcastically as she walked inside. She kicked off her shoes before walking down the hallway. Brandon did the same, closing the door behind him.

“Let’s just say the Prince has made a proclamation.” He replied as he followed her further down the hallway.

Ashlyn made her way down the hallway, past the small living room, and then took a left into the sunlight dining area prepped and ready for lunch. Felix sat at his usual head of the table seat as he continued his rant. “I’m so tired of eating the same thing. I’m a crowned prince for Dragons’ sake! We aren’t poor! Why do we keep eating the same boring sandwiches?”

Delilah set a place in front of him with the exact sandwich he was complaining about. Her elf ears flicked in annoyance. She placed a manicured hand on her hip and scoffed, “You sure complain a lot for someone who doesn’t do much to help with groceries. Might I remind you, Prince Felix, that you were the one who suggested a budget.”

Felix opened his mouth to object, but no noise came. He scowled and took a sip of water to tame his tongue. His emerald eyes glaring at the two bystanders who had witnessed the situation. He put his glass down and gestured to the table, “Well?”

Ashlyn took her seat beside Brandon, and both shared a glance. “Someone woke up on the wrong side of bed.” she whispered.

Delilah sat in front of her, her red curly hair now twisted into a bun, “Tell me about it.”

Ashlyn sighed, you could never tell a secret around an elf. They heard everything.

Delilah handed a plate stacked with sandwiches to the two. “Here, help yourselves. I don’t think Felix would mind you guys eating his share.” Her hazel eyes flicked in his direction, “Right?”

Felix said nothing. He didn’t even bother to look at her, not even to entertain. He kept focus on the sandwich in his hand knowing this would be a losing battle if he dared open his mouth.

Delilah rolled her bright green eyes as she took a bite. “We need to go to town after.” She muffled through a mouthful. She swallowed before continuing. “We need to get some more food, so Felix over here doesn’t keep complaining about lunch.”

Felix muttered something under his breath and quickly left the table. Delilah’s eyes rolled once more as she silently continued to her. Ashlyn took a bite of her sandwich as she watched Felix head down the hallway, presumingly to his bedroom. Brandon nudged her arm and gestured to the plate of food that was barely touched. “I betcha when we are at the market, he’ll wish he finished that.”

Ashlyn couldn’t help but smile, already the thought of how Felix would be complaining of the way his stomach was growling. “I agree.” She told Brandon.

She finished her last bite of food and leaned back, stretching her wings in the cramped area. She sighed and noticed Delilah’s eyes kept tracing back to Felix’s seat. “You think he’ll torment us if we have him carry the groceries again?” Ashlyn asked her.

The elf’s ear flicked at the thought. “Perhaps. But he’s already in a foul mood so it’s best not to poke the bear more than I apparently have. You know how he is.”

Ashlyn nodded. Felix, as a Prince, grew up with everything brought to him on a golden platter. It wasn’t until he met her that Felix realized there was more adventure in the world than what was brought to him in a castle. But leaving the castle to go on trips with them always put Felix in a bad mood at one point when he couldn’t order the exact meals he wanted or have his grand feather-filled bed at night. He was forced to live like everyone else.

Even Delilah had come to realize luxury was not life for everyone, Ashlyn had recently discovered. She was from the Skycliff tribe. The tribe was a royalty in and of itself, but Delilah craved adventure unlike the rest of her clan who were comfortable in their stone houses built into the mountains and decided to join in on the fun. She too found it difficult to adapt. Ashlyn wondered if Felix’s moods made Delilah bitter because she too would begin to think of home. But Ashlyn would never ask her. Her elf friend had never been fond of answering those kinds of questions.

Brandon got up and gather the empty plates, “Well we better head off soon then if we’re going to leave. The stores will all close here soon.”

Ashlyn nodded in agreement and watched as he brought the dishes to the sink. Ashlyn felt like she could relate the most with Brandon. He had grown un in a village with his family, nothing was a castle or impressive and he was okay with living an ordinary life like she was. While having dragon wings and red eyes was nothing ordinary to the country of Airleeniar, Ashlyn was comfortable with her normal lifestyle. She didn’t have a family but living outside of a castle and having no parents meant she could fly wherever the wind brought her and leaving whenever she wanted.

Brandon turned and caught her look, snapping Ashlyn out of her daydream of flying over the country. He raised an eyebrow “Is there something wrong?”

Ashlyn blinked; her focus now trained on him. “No. Why do you ask?”

He smirked, “You were just staring into nothing.”

Ashlyn got up and helped Brandon and Delilah finish cleaning up. As Brandon finished drying the dishes and Delilah swept, Ashlyn made her way to Felix’s bedroom. She frowned when she saw the door was closed, Felix never closed his door unless he was sleeping or irritated. Ashlyn knocked on the door, “Felix we’re heading out soon. Are you joining us?”

The door swept open, and Ashlyn was met with a more prince-like version of Felix. He stood there in deep emerald green tunic that matched his eyes and a slick pair of pants matched with his leather, silver adorned shoes and silver crown. “Yeah, I’m coming.” He replied flatly. He brushed past Ashlyn and headed towards the front door, pausing at a hallway mirror and fixing his already perfectly styled jet-black hair.

Ashlyn shook her head, not understanding his obsession with fashion and followed in a close stride with Felix as they headed towards the door where the other two were waiting.

Brandon’s hand dropped to the hilt of his sword that he always carried. “Let’s stick together. We don’t want to get lost. I’m not sure what potential gangs are out here.”

Ashlyn nodded and snapped her fingers, fire erupted and tongues of fire wrapped around her fingers, “By ‘we’ you mean you guys. Nobody plays with fire.”

Felix rolled his eyes and opened the door. “No, you should probably watch out for yourself too, Ash.” He said in a parental tone.

Delilah glanced at her. She lifted a finger to the taunting sign that hung above the doorframe, “You know the rule.”

Ashlyn’s eyes narrowed and she frowned at the sign, “No fire in the house” it read. Ashlyn gritted her teeth in annoyance as she commanded the fire to disperse. She couldn’t read well, but she knew those words too well-thank to Delilah.

When Ashlyn looked down back at the door, she realized she was the only person left inside the house. She hurriedly rushed out the door, slamming the door behind her. She paused when she heard the sign fall to the ground, but she didn’t bother to reenter and fix it. Instead, she smiled and ran off to catch up.      


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59 Reviews

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Stickied -- Wed Nov 06, 2024 10:55 pm
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SkyVibes says...



I have been TRYING to write Fire Keeper since I was in 8th or 9th grade. After 2 failed attempts at writing this story I've decided to finally try again. Please share your honest thoughts, i don't care if its "this is trash, Sky, burn it all". I think honest thoughts are the only thing that is going to help me make this book bcs I obviously can't do it by myself lol.




HildegardHope says...


cool, i'll take a look later



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Tue Nov 12, 2024 1:21 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...



Hello there, Sky! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

Shalt we commence with the horrific S’more?

Top Graham Cracker - Ashlyn has dragon wings and no parents. She goes on different adventures with her friends, but only really relates to Brandon. Of course, not all of their adventures will be fun for carefree…

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - I think that you meant to say “food” at the end of the sentence when Delilah takes another bite of her sandwich after rolling her eyes, but that’s just one little thing.

Chocolate Bar - I like how you introduced all of the characters in the story and established how they are with the different interactions that they had. I already get a sense of who they are. I also like that little part in the chapter when Felix got upset about having peanut butter and jam sandwiches for lunch, that was a humorous little moment. :>

Closing Graham Cracker - Ashlyn and her friends go on adventures and seem to be getting along with each other well enough, but still, they haven’t gone to market yet. Her friends may all like her but how on Earth would others react to her powers and wings? That, I will have to see for another chapter…

I wish you a dazzling day/night! ^v^




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Thu Nov 07, 2024 8:44 pm
HildegardHope wrote a review...



FORMATING, DESCRIPTIONS, ECT ECT...

Alrighty, so, the first thing I noticed is that there is a lack of descriptions, I don't know how things smell, how they feel, what the inside of the house looks like, it doesn't feel tangible, this is something i struggle with as well, its not a big deal, what i would suggest is after your done writing a chapter go through it and add, in brackets, (DESCPRITION OF X NEEDED) or something similar, and mark all of the places where you introduce something new to the scene, or the scene changes, I would suggest this much description:

Important places:4-6 sentences
Important people: 6+ sentences
Side characters/crowd shots: 2-3 sentences
Important objects: 3-4 sentences
minor objects/minor scene change: 2 sentences
Major scene change: 6 sentences
character enters/leaves scene: 3 sentences (i see so many people just put, "X character left)

This seems like a lot, and it is, but if you remember the average length of a published book's chapter is 3.5k words (this clocks in at just over 1.9k), it makes it feel like it really isn't that much. I feel like on this website shorter writing is encouraged, both by the review system and by the length-to-read indicator, but that isn't something to be afraid of. (Also don't feel pressured to overwrite, or over describe all of this is just a suggestion)

There is some minor grammar mistakes, but that can be easily fixed with a free grammar checker. A lot of people say to avoid using adverbs, it doesn't matter too much, unless you use them too much, I noticed a few more than average, not something to worry about too much. Your paragraphs are also very short.

STORY, PLOT, CHARACTERS, ECT ECT...

First things first, the story doesn't feel like a first chapter. You are introduced to all of these characters, but nothing seems to be beginning, they ate lunch and went shopping, and i'm guessing that the main plot will start to pick up next chapter, once they actually do the shopping, but there really isn't too much to hook the reader in this chapter. There is some lore drops, but you don't tell the reader why they should care, which is very important in a first chapter, now, you did a very good job of coming across as a group of old friends, and characters who you obviously understand and have solid characazations for, but it feels like you are opening up a sequel, and it is downtime before the plot kicks back up.

Your characters are good, although certain questions are risen when you're reading, why is a prince allowed to go hang out with his friends in this random house? or go shopping by himself apparently, it doesn't sound like he is exiled, why isn't he surrounded by guards? or at least one super powerful guard, it doesn't seem like Ashlynn is the royal babysitter. Is there money problems? they seem to have money problems, if more than one of these people are royalty, and if they have a dragon lady on their side, it doesn't seem like they should have money issues, (she could at least do birthday parities, because of how casual she is about going outside, it doesn't seem like she is too feared or hated)

I think it is a solid start, this review sounds kind of negative, but that is because i tend to point out the flaws in things during reviews, because i already am long winded I don't need to gush about the stuff I liked too, ummm... Skycliff is a hilarious name for elves who dwell in sky cliffs. Yeah I think thats it. OH WAIT, edit because i forgot to mention, for the name, when you just put 'chapter 1' it blends into the rest of the green room, you should put. 'name of book: chapter 1' next time

- Hope





It is a happiness to wonder; it is a happiness to dream.
— Edgar Allan Poe