Dough yields beneath my hands with gentle force
and a fly is finding its way through the room.
Yeast comes packaged at the supermarket in plastic sachets
and has been mixed with flour and water since humanity was new.
The muscles in my arms are straining with the effort
and the texture of the dough reminds me of my lover's skin.
The window keeps the setting sun outside
and you and me are going to be okay.
Points:
Time spent:
IP address:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
This lyrical poetry was a really nice read. I loved the detail you put into it, and how you relate it to a relationship. Thing I have some questions on is similar to the previous comment, is the relationship about to break apart or are they simply just going through a rough part in their relationship. Although I do think this anonymity could be an intentional part of the story now that I thinking about it further. Other than my initial question, I think this piece is really good and I can't wait to read more like this in the future if you choose to!
This was interesting. I'm a little confused.
I think that this part was the most confusing for me. And the ending, is there person talking about a rough relationship and saying that they'll both be okay? I get that she's making bread or something, but I feel like this whole poem was just very short. The ending didn't have anything else to do with the process of making bread, and that kind of felt "off".