Published July 25, 2011
Locked From the Outside
The old mansion is what I seek
The mysteries of lives long and forgotten
With secrets and hidden meaning that tempt me
Forest trees reach for me, telling me to turn back
Just like the sailor man, it seems, who dubs the mansion evil
I adventure anyway, fear hidden behind my desires
The mansion’s inviting door is eternally closed
Gray clouds grumble at me, they seem sad
A glass doorknob shines from around back, letting me in
A glasshouse it is, with exotic plants of every color
Each plant wears its own clothes differently
Some pots are broken, some shine like the sun
I venture deeper into the house of green
Where there is no light and the plants begin to age
Deprived from water and sun they have been
Their color is gone, nothing left but withered skeletons
Some look as if they are still reaching for the sun
Others have fallen to the soil in lost hope
My bare feet step on their remains
The gray clouds are sad I realize, because they cannot get in
They cannot get into this house of green to nurture
I feel the need to help the plants, to nurse them back to health
As I take each step to find the water,
The sun beats down on me like millions of daggers
The watering pail is found, but its lack of water doesn’t surprise
My eyes, they spot the water pump,
It is on the other side of the glass pane
I walk to the door with the glass knob
It does not turn and let me pass
Instead it stays still, not moving with each twist I inflict
I look around, there is no alternative
I am fated to stay here and whither like the aging plants
For the door is locked from the outside
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140,860 Literary Works • 673,695 Reviews
Amazing use of imagery, this is a heck of a poem. I love the twist, and i'm glad you said the clouds were sad. In poetry you tend to see the same words used often and the same images used often, like angry clouds, but never sad. Very well done. Also the comparison of the plants to skeletons made me shudder, extremely creepy, but very strong imagery. I read this poem about three times to soak in all the detail, i'm impressed.
Keep on writing, i wish to see more!
I'm not the best with poetry but even I could tell that it was a good poem. The whole time I was reading it I was always wondering what was going to happen next, in other words t was exciting to read. I really liked the ending, it was really unexpected and that is what made this poem great.
Yay Jack Sparrow and yay, I love reading poetry:)
Neways, wow, I thought you were gonna describe a little adventure in great detail but you ended up making it a scary ending.
who dubs the mansion evil
Im not very good with grammar so maybe I shouldn't be the one to say things but that sounded weird.
Was the poem supposed to be a blank verse, cause it seemed like one- else it didn't seem to rhyme very well.
The gray cloud grumble coz their sad orsth, a line like that
maybe you should replace the word sad with some other synonym, it sounds out of place.
Sorry if I seem too negative, just trying to give a helpful review.
But if it was a blank verse, I liked it.