i never meant to hurt you
it was all a big mistake
i should have known
you wouldn't believe me
i mean, it is pretty hard to know
I'm sorry.
now you believe,
now you know
this is all i have to show
how much I'm sorry
i never meant for you to get hurt
i never meant for any one to get hurt
I'm sorry.
I wish you would come back
be my friend again
I'll never let this secret
hurt you in the end
i try and control it
i am going insane
I'm sorry.
I know i don't deserve you
after all you've been through
there is just one thing
i want you to do
don't leave me
I'm sorry.
I'm very, very sorry.
Points:
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Canary word: Present
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This poem is really good and I bet there are a lot of people that can relate to the poem, because there a lots of people that have told a secret and someone else got mad even though its really not worth it. With all being said this is something I would follow!
Hi!
Overall, I really liked reading the poem. I like the repetition of "I'm sorry." at the end of each stanza too. It adds to the whole thing and gives the reader something to hold onto when they are reading the other lines. Though the rest of the lines are different, you can always count on the apology at the end of each stanza! Uh, I might be wrong, but I think you are supposed to capitalize the I's. The narrator seems very strong but hurt and apologetic. They seem very sincere to whoever they are apologizing to. That makes a little heartfelt background for the poem.
I didn't see anything wrong except the small thing I pointed out earlier. That's good. Keep writing!
-Emily
I really like your poem with the repetition of "I'm sorry" at the end of every stanza- it had a really raw, emotional feeling to it. I would break up some of the lines a little differently, though. Like " I mean, it is pretty hard to know" I might have made in to two lines at the comma. There were some other lines like that but that might just be me... Anyway- thanks for the fantastic read!