Published June 6, 2013
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140,137 Literary Works • 673,032 Reviews
This poem is ok, though there are a lot of things you need to fix. But first I'll tell you e=what I like.
What I like:
1). I like the font a lot, it makes it feel special.*
2). This is a meaningful want to be of a great poem. I can totally feel the mood.
What I don't like:
1). *The font also makes this poem hard to read. It sort of pixelates it and makes it too small. a little hard to read.
2). I don't like how many times you use this: -. I don't even know what it's called, but it disrupts the flow of this poem
3). "Why you be so awesome?!" is grammatically incorrect. It should be: "Why are you so awesome?"
4). I think the stanza:
"Why you be so awesome?!
You make flowers blossom."
Is a little random. I mean, where did flowers come from? you weren't saying anything about flowers before. It sounds like you just said that to rhyme, which is fine, but when rhyming, you have to make sense, you know?
5). For people like myself, i just want to ask, who are: "Kuroshitsuji and Soul Eater,"? I think from your other reviews, they're anime characters, but I didn't know that.
These are just a few of the things I didn't like about your poem. Your poem needs some work, honestly and I hope to come back and see it at least a little better. I get the gist though.
~Racket
This poem is ok, though there are a lot of things you need to fix. But first I'll tell you e=what I like.
What I like:
1). I like the font a lot, it makes it feel special.*
2). This is a meaningful want to be of a great poem. I can totally feel the mood.
What I don't like:
1). The font also makes this poem hard to read. It sort of pixelates it and makes it too small. a little hard to read.
2). I don't like how many times you use this: -. I don't even know what it's called, but it disrupts the flow of this poem
3). "Why you be so awesome?!" is grammatically incorrect. It should be: "Why are you so awesome?"
4). I think the stanza:
"Why you be so awesome?!
You make flowers blossom."
Is a little random. I mean, where did flowers come from? you weren't saying anything about flowers before. It sounds like you just said that to rhyme, which is fine, but when rhyming, you have to make sense, you know?
5). For people like myself, i just want to ask, who are: "Kuroshitsuji and Soul Eater,"? I think from your other reviews, they're anime characters, but I didn't know that.
These are just a few of the things I didn't like about your poem. Your poem needs some work, honestly and I hope to come back and see it at least a little better. I get the gist though.
~Racket
Hey it’s Mac here for a review,
This piece of literature is actually really outstanding. I love that you included Soul Eater in it. He is one of my favorite anime characters. I honestly don’t see any problems in this one at all. I love that you wrote it for a friend. It just softens my heart and makes it cry. This poem touched my heart so deeply and I will keep it there as long as possible.
If you write any other poems and post the poems then please contact me. So that I can read the poems and I will also review them. I am sure that I will love them along with everyone else who reads them. I am also going to follow you and suggest some of my other friends to do the same.
Simple, yet beautiful. A very heartfelt poem indeed. Though the line "Why you be so awesome?!" is a grammatically incorrect. I suggest re- writing that line, change it with something like what tkpejp suggested. But otherwise, good work. Cheers!
This is a great poem. I love the rhyming pattern. Some of them seem forced though like [quote]I love you - more than ANYTHING,
For you - a song I'll sing.[quote] Anything and sing don't go together too well.
Also, [quote]Why you be so awesome?!
You make flowers blossom.[quote] this part would sound better if it was "Why are you so awesome?!" It flows better that way.
It is a really good poem overall. Sorry the review is so short but in my opinion not much needs to be changed.
Thanks a lot, and I'll take all your edits into consideration!
Thanks a lot, and I'll take all your edits into consideration!