z

Young Writers Society


16+ Violence

Ghost Hospital

by Sinaryn


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for violence.

“Hello?” I called, my boots making a heavy thud with each footstep. I was in a foreign city, on vacation, but I had suddenly gotten violently ill after eating at a restaurant. The hospital I was in was the closest one to the restaurant, but I was unsure now whether it was reputable. The dark hallways and lack of people seemed to make it obvious that it wasn’t. But I had no idea where to find another hospital, and surely there were people here? The parking lot outside was full.

I abruptly grabbed my stomach, trying to find my way to a trash can so I wouldn’t vomit all over the admittedly dusty floor. I managed to make it a few feet away from one before my stomach exploded and a sour green puke erupted all over the floor. I moaned. Usually vomiting helped you feel better, at least temporarily, but now it just made me feel worse. I vomited again and again, too weak to move to the trash can, and unable to find a way around the puke in this state.

Quiet footsteps suddenly approached me. “Are you lost?” spoke a quiet voice. I looked up at the speaker and screamed. She was a young woman, with faint pink hair and green eyes. She was covered in blood, however, and she seemed only half there - I could see the hospital right through her body.

“Let me help you, Ma'am,” she offered, reaching down a hand to me. I tried to resist, but some force compelled me to place my hand in her palm, and she pulled me to my feet. I looked around frantically for a way to escape. “This way,” the woman offered kindly, smiling at me. I shook my head and took a step in the opposite direction.

“Who are you?” I asked, my voice shaking. “What - What is this place?”

“I am Lindia,” she said, still smiling. “This is Akubara General Hospital, one of the finest in the nation.”

What? Finest in the nation? I could not believe that was true. “I - I am Ina,” I stammered, hoping to placate her as I backed away. Lindia smiled at me.

“I know.”

She gestured for me to follow her. I shook my head, scurrying backward toward the entrance, but she caught my hand easily. “I don’t want any more puke stains on the floor,” she said cheerfully. I looked longingly toward the exit, trying to find a way to break free as I was pulled along. But I saw other people gathered there, seeming to chatter casually, but they were definitely blocking my only escape route.

“Come on,” Lindia said kindly to me. I tried to pull free again, but she firmly held my wrist. “Why did you come to a hospital if you don’t want to be treated?”

I whimpered but finally went along with her. I saw no way to escape.

As we walked, I began to hear the sounds of a normal hospital. Patients being wheeled around, doctors talking, patients laughing and chattering amongst themselves. But the lights were all dim, and I saw nobody. At last, we came to our destination.

“The doctor will see you now,” Lindia said cheerfully. She pushed the door open and she gently ushered me in.

The room was brightly lit, and it was filled with people who looked just like Lindia: smiling, kind-eyed, transparent, many covered with blood stains. Machines lined the walls, and photos of men and women being hanged, drawn-and-quartered, stretched by the rack, or chopped into pieces lined the walls. A man with only a few specks of blood on his clothing smiled and walked up to us.

“You must be Ina,” he said to me. I tried to smile and nodded.

“This way,” he gestured, pulling me over to a strange machine. “Just lie down in here, and it will discover all that is wrong with you,” he promised.

I was terrified, but all the people in the room were smiling at me encouragingly, perhaps even hungrily. I knew I had no choice. I climbed into the chamber, which was padded with some soft dark material, and I laid down with my head against one edge. The material seemed to shift and stretch itself until I was nested inside and every part of me was covered. Somehow I could still breathe, but I could not move any other part of my body.

“Sleep well,” the doctor said sweetly to me, and I could feel that he was smiling down at me. I heard some sort of pressure release and felt a breeze blowing past me. Then I began to choke, and in the midst of choking fell to sleep.

I do not know how long it was before I woke. I slowly sat up and stretched, then drew back, startled, as I saw the smiling faces surrounding me.

“You’re well again,” congratulated the doctor, and he reached down to shake my hand. I smiled confusedly, but took his hand.

“Um... Thank you,” I murmured. “If... If I’m better, I guess I’ll get going. Thank you very much.” I smiled and stepped past the doctor, but more smiling faces stopped me. Two very young-looking ones grinned wickedly and pointed at my shirt. Confused, I glanced down at it, and my heart skipped a beat. My shirt was covered in blood right over the heart.

“He helped you,” laughed one of the boys that had stopped me. The other nodded and kept his wicked grin.

I then looked down at my hands. They were see-through; glancing again at my chest, I saw that it also had become transparent. I rushed to a mirror, the only one in the room, and saw the room reflected before me, a faint outline of myself visible as well.

“What did you do to me?” I shouted. “What is this place?”

Lindia stepped forward to greet me with a smile. “We healed you,” she beamed. “At Akubara Ghost Hospital.”


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18 Reviews


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Wed Feb 12, 2014 1:40 am
cmueser wrote a review...



WOAH! I am totes not going to a hospital anytime soon :P This reminds me of when Rick wakes up from his coma in the walking dead! Only this time there are ghosts instead of walkers!! ^^
I like how you said all of the ghosts were covered in blood, it adds to the spookiness!!
I'm curious to know how she was killed! And I like how the ghost had pink hair! COOL!
I would also love to see a movie made out of this!!! I always love spooky stories! Nice job!! I will look forward to your future work!




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Sat Dec 28, 2013 12:19 am
lostthought wrote a review...



Um, you put that it was based off what happened to your friend? Is your friend still alive or is she/he a ghost as well? (If she/he is a ghost and you can see them that is awesome) Ok first off I didn't see any nitpicks. That is good and it means either I am just blind or you went through and fixed it. (I am sorta blind so that may just be it)

Now for the good part. I liked it very much. But why above the heart? Also if she is dead how can her heart skip a beat? Where did the body go since ghosts are the soul of a person, not the body? Yeah I have a lot of questions. Keep writing!

~lost




Sinaryn says...


I should have said that it is based very, very loosely off of what happened to her. It's a long story, haha. But no, she is alive and well, just had a creepy experience in a hospital.

I meant on top of the heart, the place on her shirt that covers the heart. I'm not sure the best way to put it, haha. I'm also not exactly sure how dead they are, or how corporeal. I also have a lot of questions about this story, which is why I'd like to revisit the idea one day.



lostthought says...


over her heart?



Sinaryn says...


Hahaha, yeah, that would work... Thanks xD



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Thu Dec 19, 2013 3:40 pm
smile says...



beautiful story , creepy and interesting , love it .
keep up the good work , can't wait to read more of your stories .


smile ;)




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Wed Dec 18, 2013 7:57 pm
Shalie wrote a review...



I love scary stories. You did a good job pulling the reader in. I would like to know more about the history of this hospital. How it got started? Where these people alive before it was a ghost hospital or did it start with ghost who didn't know they where dead coming to be healed? The pictures kinda throw me off, unless this hospital was really twisted and hung their patients, etc. there. I would also like to know how far they go if someone kept on resisting to escape. This might sound sick but I like to know more in details how Ina died. Sound like she was stabbed or something in the throat or close to it. Anyways this was a very good story. It kept me reading and wanting to know more.Keep writing.
Shalie




Sinaryn says...


Thank you very much! I'd like to know more about it myself - unfortunately, I do not know many of the details you are curious about. Perhaps I will revisit this hospital in the future.

The pictures actually came from something I read about how pictures of people being tortured are better than 'normal' pictures usually used in dentist and doctor's offices. The purpose of the pictures is to distract the patient from the pain, and such disturbing images are far more distracting than a kitten or nature scene. Plus, they're just plain creepy. xD



Shalie says...


Oh cool I didnt know it was real place id like to visit to



Sinaryn says...


Oh, actually I meant visit in my imagination - there's a hospital off of which this is very loosely based, but the hospital in this story is fictional. Sorry to be confusing. xD



Shalie says...


Ah, well lol it still think it be neat if there was a hospital like that for visitors to see.



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Tue Dec 17, 2013 11:50 pm
deleted30 wrote a review...



Welcome to YWS! I'm Lucrezia and I'll be reviewing your short today. ;)

This was very creepy and awesome. It was well-written, with few mistakes, and the descriptions---most notably of the ghost people---were fantastic. Well done! This is a great first piece.

As for the nitpicks, there were a couple of things I noticed, but luckily nothing too big. The pacing was a bit fast for my liking (it would've been nice to know a little more about your main character, perhaps, and also to see more of his horrified reaction to the creepy things around him). However, this is a SHORT story, so I guess I can't complain about that too much. :)

“Come on,” Lindia said kindly to me. I tried to pull free again, but she firmly held my wrist. “Why did you come to a hospital if you don’t want to be treated?” I whimpered, but finally went along with her.


I quoted this because there should be a paragraph break after Lindia's dialogue and before Ina's. Basically, it should look like this:

"“Come on,” Lindia said kindly to me. I tried to pull free again, but she firmly held my wrist.

“Why did you come to a hospital if you don’t want to be treated?” I whimpered, but finally went along with her."

Then I heard some sort of pressure release, and felt a breeze blowing past me. Then I began to choke, and in the midst of choking fell to sleep.


You use "then" twice here, and it feels a bit repetitive. I would take out the second "then," because "I began to choke" reads fine without it.

Other than those little minor things, this was great! Nice work. :)




Sinaryn says...


I see what you mean about the main character... For instance, she was supposed to be a girl. xD Only after I read your comment did I realize that I hadn't made any reference as to what gender she was. I'll fix that, somehow, but I'm not sure if I can add more about my main character, but I'll look it over.

Actually, the dialogue was supposed to be all Lindia, but I realize I didn't make a very good break. I'll fix that! Thanks also for the comment about using "then." It does break the flow, but I must not have caught it.

I'm so glad you liked this! I'll fix it up sometime soon with your comments in mind. I appreciate that you took the time to help!


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deleted30 says...


Whoops! Sorry. I was wondering what gender your character was, so I just went with male automatically when giving my critique. My bad! ;)



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Tue Dec 17, 2013 11:46 pm
rainbowcabbit wrote a review...



First review in a while! I am so happy I ran into a this story, I was dying to read a horror story. Anyways, to the point. Everything here looks very good. Your plot was amazing and unique. I especially enjoy how innocent yet psychotic the ghosts were. You also perfectly put the right amount of creepiness in the story; the reader gets the eeriness of the hospital, but they aren't overwhelmed. This is probably the sort of story that could give someone night mares long after being read XD. Yeah, so really good work! Keep doing awesome works.




Sinaryn says...


Ahh, thank you! I'm so glad you liked it! I thought I did a pretty good job with it, but I wasn't sure that it was really that good. Thanks for the praise and encouragement!




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