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16+ Language

Moving on from the Unsure

by Simplyelle


Warning: This work has been rated 16+ for language.

Can you call it a commitment if it’s unofficial, can you call it love if it’s unsure, Can you call it a break up if there’s no definite him and her or would it be really a break up after all.

How will you move on from a relationship that never happened, to a love story that was never told, to an almost, to a maybe, to a supposed to be. How would you heal the wounds? How would you cover the scars? How would you treat the pain from something that you don’t know of what it really was? How would you accept that it has ended if you are not even sure if it really started? How would you define a love that is not committed?

It’s so hard to let go for something that ended, but it’s much harder to let go of something that you don’t even know if it really comes to an end. It’s painful to grieve for something that you’ve lost, but it’s much painful to grieve on something that you are not sure of if it was yours. Is it wrong to hope, would it be wrong to wait, for a maybe to become a yes, for an almost to be attest. Is it foolish to call it love, is it crazy to take that chance, is it insane to be unsurely happy, and is it stupid to hope that maybe……

I don’t know how it started, I don’t know how it ended, It’s a love that never happened, It’s an us that never was. Maybe it’s just you and me, and never an us, as my friends told me hey, wake up! It’s all in the past, but my heart contradicted and said, hey sweetie, you felt that it was really love even just for once, then my mind shouted, you fucking crazy! Move on with that shit and pick up your ass. Cause all these are non-sense because it’s not what you think it really was.


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Points: 83
Reviews: 4

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Wed Mar 29, 2017 4:51 pm
defect wrote a review...



Hi, Simplyelle!
I'm going to give you a review.
To start with, I love your poem, because I found a piece of me in it. Every word, every emotion, every tear. I know that, because I have been there.
Furthermore, you are really good at describing your feelings. When the person is reading your poem, there is no way we would not understand how are you feeling.
Moreover, it is really sad, i feel that obscurity. Every poem about heartbreak is like that. But these kind of poems I like the most.
Just believe, that everything will pass away. Keep on going with your works, I will come back to read it once more!




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52 Reviews


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Reviews: 52

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Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:19 pm
VegasLights wrote a review...



Hello,
I must say this is a beautiful poem! i have to agree with "theknight" when they say something about the rhetorical questions. I feel like they should be worded differently. I have the understanding that would shape the poem a lot better. But, no matter what this poem is beautiful. It really makes you think about love. You show us that love is possible in some strange way, but you don't know how it happened.


Keep Writing,
Miranda




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52 Reviews


Points: 1468
Reviews: 52

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Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:14 pm
VegasLights says...






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5 Reviews


Points: 491
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Wed Mar 22, 2017 8:41 am
theknight wrote a review...



this is a beautiful poem. I'm not really sure as to where I can start but lets try the beginning. in the first sentence you have three rhetorical questions "Can you call it a commitment if it’s unofficial, can you call it love if it’s unsure, Can you call it a break up if there’s no definite him and her or would it be really a break up after all." but the should be put like this "Can you call it a commitment if it’s unofficial? can you call it love if it’s unsure? Can you call it a break up if there’s no definite him and her or would it be really a break up after all?" as you are still asking a question even if you do not require an answer.
apart from that it seems alright if I have missed something I am sorry it is just the rhetorical questions at the start that jump out at me as a mistake.





If a nation loses its storytellers, it loses its childhood.
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