imagine we are infinite. now imagine we aren't.
you were here once and we're all trying to forget it,
how you were thief enough to pop a lock, cruel enough
to leave a door open to somewhere we couldn't follow.
imagine us asking all the right questions. now imagine
silence smoother than a killer lake. what happens to you
when we all look away, when you find yourself alone
with the lights off? imagine it's something beautiful.
now imagine it isn't. it takes a hidden heart for one to go cold
in june. after months of your mother watching the porch,
it became evident that you were not endless. i knew that,
but i must have wanted you to be. imagine a world
where i can step into your empty room. now imagine one
where i can't. i am stuck living in the latter; it is no longer yours.
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142,048 Literary Works • 676,451 Reviews
I've been looking for a poem to review, and yours it was! Now, I'm not the most at ease with reading or understanding poetry but that's part of the reason why I'm doing this. Therefore, if I miss something; my bad!
too is kinda confusing. Also, I know what you mean by "thief enough" but perhaps a different word? Thief here is easily confused for the noun, rather than the adjective it is trying to be.First impressions:
I like the message the poem conveys, and some of the imagery is really drawn vividly. The sense of loss it embodies is well-done, too, without being drawn out and droll.
Some issues:
Some of the metaphors, similes, and imagery don't make much sense I'm afraid. For instance, what does "silence smoother than a killer lake" mean? I haven't the foggiest! This
Overall, I really liked the poem and I think it hits the notes of feeling grief and loss very well. Good job