This is rather awkward for me. I've never posted on this board or asked for contructive critism on a poem. Well, here goes nothing.
He stands at your side
Your hand entwined with his
I think of the days when he was in my reach
I look to you
Beaming in his presence
To interfere would have cost too much
I stand at your side
Playfully punching him
He laughs
I laugh
You laugh along
We are content
This costs nothing
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Canary word: Present
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125,015 Literary Works • 672,848 Reviews
The point of view of this poem is a bit confusing, or maybe it is just my interpretation. For example, you say " I stand at your side, playfully punching him". Are there more than two people in this poem or is that just a typo? It happens a lot in the poem, so either I misinterpreted, or you made a mistake. Otherwise, can't really find anything to critique. Good job!
I love it - I can relate to that poem yet I find it hard to be content.
Its an amazing peom you should be very proud of it
Wouldn't change anything !!
i like this. perhaps a bit too simple, but you have a good concept and it was well-written.
I loved it too. It seems to end a bit abruptly IMHO, but it is definitely effective like that. Nice concept here. I look forward to seeing some more of your work around, SilverWright.
Beautiful. Absolutely amazing. Now, if only I could feel so content with my friends' relationships..
very good! i loved this! I CANT EVEN COME UP WITH ANY COMMENTS OR SUGGESTIONS! way wicked! case CLOSED.