Published August 3, 2011
It drips down walls and
Covers the floors and
Spreads the scent of
Coppery rust.
It fills our eyes with
Truth and lies, makes
Everything else just
Turn to dust.
Fresh and red, such
Brilliant art, it
Draws us near with
Secrets dark.
Catches you up,
Never lets you
Go, it binds with chains
That twist your heart.
Giver of life, it
Takes it back as
Easy as blinking,
As quick as breath.
Unless you wish for
The title of 'dead', I'd
Avoid the bloodlust
And
Watch
Your
STEP.
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138,928 Literary Works • 672,329 Reviews
Hey! I'm here to review!
I really liked this poem. How you chopped up some of the stanzas was weird, and some rhymes. Nothing to bad anyway. I don't like the end much it was a little disappointing but I really liked the rest. Your imagery was amazing.
The last stanza needs work, you have a really good poem here. In the end you let it down a bit. Work on that stanza and the second one and your poem will be awesome! I loved it!
- Boo
OK - at first - and pretty much up until the last bit, I thought this poem was about love. Especially in the bits:
Fresh and red, such
Brilliant art, it
Draws us near with
Secrets dark.
Catches you up,
Never lets you
Go, it binds with chains
That twist your heart.
Giver of life, it
Takes it back as
Easy as blinking,
As quick as breath.
I was kind of disappointed in the end that it wasn't. But the imagery was great. Only, it gave me the wrong impression about what it was about. Other than that, great! Keep on writing!
this is verry good! the only mistake is this
Catches you up,
Never lets you
you had a comma yet you still capitalized never, but this poem is verry strong and powerfull, it has somthing that alot of other poems don't have, power!
And the name "Bloodlust" Is a very good name, it explains the power!
Good job this was so good!
Yes, indeed it was an interesting poem. I love the flow and rythm of it and your imagery was great, could be slightly improved I guess but... well, good! The content of this is great too, maybe the ending was a bit dull and dissapointing though... :p
ANyhowwss. I liked it, I liked it alot!
Good Luck & Keep Writing
// Demoness
This is really interesting. It gets your mind going and I really enjoyed that. It seemed kind of awkward though, because of the beginning of the next line up on the top. I would really enjoy to see more of your work. Keep writing!