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12+ Language Violence

The Witches of Flamina [Episode 1]

by Sillyguy02

Episode 1: The Spell and The Shield

The episode opens with a middle school as the sun sets over it.

Kurtis is seen amongst a crowd of students entering the school. He gets stopped at the entrance by the school’s nurse who speaks up

NURSE: Student I.D., please.

In response, Kurtis shows the nurse his I.D. that's attached to the lanyard strapped around his neck. She nods her head before gesturing for him to enter

NURSE: Alright, go inside.

Kurtis enters and the scene switches to Lydia, who is on her balcony overseeing the lake in front of her house. After snapping back to reality, she checks the time on her school-issued laptop and realizes she’s almost late to the bus. She rushes out of her house and manages to get to her bus on time.

The scenes show the two going through 1st and second period before finally, it’s time for their shared class, P.E. The two meet in the locker rooms, and they enter the court. While talking and walking around in circles, Lydia, ever the observant one, notices a yellow crumpled-up piece of paper on the ground.

LYDIA: What’s that?

She grabs it and opens up the paper, revealing a map with coordinates beneath it.

LYDIA: What’s something like this doing here?

KURTIS: No idea. Looks like something out of a fantasy show. Especially with those strange symbols.

LYDIA: Maybe it’s a treasure map!

KURTIS: It’s probably just some prank a sixth grader made.

LYDIA: I doubt a sixth grader would take the time to write Roman numerals. Plus, the yellow suggests this thing is OLD!

KURTIS: Or, that someone took a piss on it.

Lydia gives Kurtis a confused look, before shrugging and looking over at the map.

KURTIS: From the looks of it, It leads to the woods near the track. It’s blocked off by a fence though, so we can’t go…

LYDIA: Oh Kurtis, fences are just suggestions!

KURTIS: Please don’t tell me you want to try getting through.

Lydia gives Kurtis a look, and he already knows that it means “yes.”

LYDIA: No time to waste, Kurtis. To the woods, we go.

Without any room for argument, Lydia and Kurtis sneak off to the track and climb over it. Using the map, Lydia leads the two to the marked location. However, they fail to notice a shadowy figure following them. After arriving, their gaze falls upon a well in the middle of a clearing.

LYDIA: Well, well, well, a well!

KURTIS: How long have you wanted to say that?

Lydia walks up to the well, digging her hand inside the bucket there, and to her surprise, she pulls out a dazzling book decorated by red jewels and being framed by gold in the shape of clouds.

LYDIA: Woah… this thing is bedazzled as heck.

KURTIS: It’s so pretty. Such an interesting design…

Kurtis observes the book, and Lydia hands it to satisfy his curious urges.

LYDIA: Do you think it’s someone's diary?

KURTIS: This is way too fancy to be a diary.

Kurtis tries to pry it open but fails in doing so.

LYDIA: Let me try!

Kurtis hands Lydia the book, and while she cannot pry it open.

LYDIA: Well, it’s no wonder we can’t open it. We need a key too…

After a moment, the crystals on the book begin to glow a crimson red, and both Lydia and Kurtis are surprised by this development.

However, before the two can observe the book’s intricacies, they hear vicious growling behind them… and when they turn around, they’re met with a tall, horrifying demon resembling a tree, each branch having wide, yellow goat-like eyes that seem to pierce through their souls. Kurtis freezes in shock, but Lydia is quick to grab him and begin running. Kurtis tries to keep his grip on the book steady as they run, but the demon quickly catches up to them. Right before it closes the distance, the shadowy figure emerges and fends off the beast. However, no weapons or fists were used. Kurtis and Lydia watch as the figure fights the demon with… magic! They struck it down with a burst of flames that was conjured almost out of thin air, causing the beast to screech before finishing it off with a crystal of sorts, making it run off back to its previous place. The figure turns around, his arms crossed, and expresses a scowl.

???: You idiots almost got yourselves killed!

Kurtis and Lydia are awestruck by this guy, despite him just insulting them. He also appears to have a brown, fluffy owl perched on his shoulder.

LYDIA: We didn’t know that thing even existed! Who on Earth are you?

KURTIS: And how did you do that? It’s like you did magic!

???: Because I did do magic. Did that beast visually impair you guys or something?

Lydia and Kurtis now have several questions, each bombarding this mysterious figure with a flurry of them.

KURTIS: How does it feel to do it? How did you get so strong? Do you use wands?

LYDIA: Is magic genetic? Are there more like you? Can we see more?

The figure is irritated with the questions, and instead of answering them, he changes the topic.

???: I’m not here to answer questions. I’m here for that!

The figure points to the book Kurtis is holding, and Kurtis and Lydia observe it again

LYDIA: What for?

???: To make sure it doesn’t fall into the wrong hands, for one. How did you even manage to find something this sacred?

LYDIA: There was this map with Roman numerals on it.

KURTIS: Oh! And they had these symbols too!

The figure massages their temples, clearly irritated.

???: And you don’t even know glyph code. Come on. Hand me the book.

Kurtis hands the book to the figure, who in turn, tosses it up into the air before the same owl catches it with its claws. This shocks Kurtis and Lydia, who are only enchanted when the figure snaps their fingers and conjures a platform. Upon stepping on it, it lifts them into the air and they leave the woods…

Kurtis begins freaking out, grabbing at his hair and speaking frantically.

KURTIS: Holyshitwhatthehellishappening-

LYDIA: Calm down, Kurtis! Deep breaths.

After a moment of calming down, Kurtis sighs and Lydia looks up with a determined look.

LYDIA: We’re not leaving without answers. Let’s try and find him!

KURTIS: And how are we supposed to do that?LYDIA: Hm…

Lydia looks off back to the clearing and begins walking back there. Kurtis follows behind nervously. Lydia notices something shimmering in the well, and she reaches in…

The scene switches to the mysterious figure, now standing on a balcony with their owl companion. The figure has the book in their hands, while their owl companion transforms and poofs into a human-like creature with features on their arms and owl-like eyes. However, the figure notices a keyhole in the book, and with a look of reluctance, he speaks.

???: Melissa, we’re going back.

MELISSA: But I was just in my owl form!

???: Don’t make me repeat myself, please.

The scene switches back to Lydia and Kurtis, with Lydia now holding a key that resembles the book.

LYDIA: How did we not see this before?

KURTIS: No idea. The thing stands out like a sore thumb.

The pair wait for the figure to return, and he does so in a matter of minutes.

???: You two again. Alright, make this easy and hand the key over.

LYDIA: Not until you tell us why you can do magic!

???: You are aware I can just easily snatch it from you, right?

Lydia, unsure of what to do, hands Kurtis the key, who is sweating bullets.

KURTIS: We’ll uhm… t-throw it down this well!

???: I’ll have her get it back.

He says, gesturing to the owl perched on his shoulder. In a timely fashion, a tree branch falls into the well and the group huddles around the well and watches as the branch disintegrates.

KURTIS: Still wanna try that?

Though reluctant, the figure sighs and his shoulders relax.

???: Alright. What are your names?

Though confused by the switch-up, the two say so.

KURTIS: Kurtis. Kurtis Gonzalo.

LYDIA: I’m Lydia Sinclair.

AARON: I’m Aaron. It’s… okay to meet you.

KURTIS: Oh! Like A - A Ron, right?

AARON: Excuse me? It’s pronounced AIR-ON.

KURTIS: Watch your tone or you’re getting a weird nickname.

AARON, whispering: Out of all the people to find this place before me, it just had to be 2 human kids…

Aaron diverts his gaze back onto the key, remembering what he came here for.

AARON: I won’t pretend I came here to be friends. I came here for that key, so just listen to me and hand it over.

The duo steps away from Aaron, and Aaron’s temper begins to rise.

AARON: Come on, you do not want to get involved with this. You’re just humans. Let’s all just forget this ever happened…

Aaron says before his hands begin to conjure up a spell.

AARON: Tomorrow, it’ll all seem like a dream…

Then, he directs the spell at Kurtis, who ducks out of the way. Kurtis throws the key to Lydia, which confuses Aaron and the two begin throwing it back and forth. Annoyed with this development, Aaron corners them and is prepared to get this over with. He directs the spell at the two and Lydia holds up her hands and feels a surge of energy around her and Kurtis. She looks around and a barrier surrounds the both of them, which blocks off one of Aaron's attacks

They all watch as the barrier begins to fall apart and Aaron stops striking.

AARON: Wait a minute, how did you do that?

LYDIA: I… I don’t know!

AARON: How wouldn’t you know? A barrier that huge takes a lot of power to conjure.

The scene switches to show a tiny shadowy figure observing this before it switches back to normal.

AARON: You two need to come with me.

LYDIA: And why should we do that?!

AARON: Because I have the information you want.

Lydia and Kurtis look at each other, and Kurtis speaks

KURTIS: Can we go on our own, please?

AARON: … Fine, but don’t flake on me. I’m a busy man. Meet me at the Ocean Hotel, room 206.

With that, Aaron makes another platform and leaves. Kurtis and Lydia begin walking to the aforementioned Ocean Hotel… a time skip here :3

KURTIS: We’re gonna talk about what just happened, right?

LYDIA: Of course we would. This isn’t exactly a typical Wednesday, Kurtis.

KURTIS: I know but… that was so much to handle. Magic, demons, a bedazzled book. Who knows what’s in store for us?

LYDIA: No clue…

KURTIS: Your curiosity led us down a weird path today. Possibly almost to our graves.

LYDIA: Yeah, sorry about that. How was I supposed to know we’d encounter an actual wizard?

Lydia sighs as they reach the entrance, scared of what may happen next.

LYDIA: Any last words if we end up dead?

KURTIS: My last words… I’d rather die than go to my fourth period!

LYDIA: Come on, be serious!

KURTIS: Maybe another day.

Episode one. End.

.  . • ☆ . ° .• °:. *₊ ° . ☆

Is this a review?



User avatar
1089 Reviews

Points: 155
Reviews: 1089

Mon Nov 20, 2023 3:09 pm
vampricone6783 wrote a review...

Hello there! I'm reviewing using the YWS S'more Method today!

And now we shalt start…

Top Graham Cracker - Lydia and Kurtis leave school to follow the path of a mysterious map. Upon doing so, they find a magical book, a wizard and his familiar, and could very well be witches themselves.

Slightly Burnt Marshmallow - In the sentence where Lydia nods her head near the beginning, you forgot to put a period. But that’s okay, I forget sometimes too.

Chocolate Bar - I like how Aaron goes from wanting them to leave to wanting to meet up with them, it’s a 180 change. They’re all still confused, but of course they’re going to go, because what choice do they really have?

Closing Graham Cracker - It seems like there’s a lot in store planned for them! I can’t wait to see what waits for them and how their relationship will develop with Aaron and Melissa.

I wish you an amazing day/night!

User avatar
151 Reviews

Points: 39462
Reviews: 151

Wed Nov 15, 2023 2:13 pm
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PKMichelle wrote a review...

Hello friend!
I saw your work in the Green Room and figured I’d check it out.

On first impressions, this was a great script. It seemed to have a clear story line and was structured fairly well. It was easy to comprehend the characters different points of view and personalities, which is always nice as a reader.

If I could offer any (sort of) advice, it would be to distinguish the stage directions from the dialogue in some way. It's most often done either using italics or parenthesis.
Using your text as an example, you said,

Kurtis is seen amongst a crowd of students entering the school. He gets stopped at the entrance by the school’s nurse who speaks up

NURSE: Student I.D., please.

However, you could use italics to make the stage directions stand out a little more against the dialogue like this:

Kurtis is seen amongst a crowd of students entering the school. He gets stopped at the entrance by the school’s nurse who speaks up

NURSE: Student I.D., please.

But this is merely a suggestion, and it's always up to the writer, so please take this criticism lightly and know that I mean nothing negative by it.

If I had to pick my favorite part, it would be the way you integrated humor throughout the script. It not only adds a comedic effect but also makes it more fun to read.
My favorite humorous line has got to be when Kurtis says,

Or, that someone took a piss on it.

It just wasn't something I was expecting, but genuinely enjoyed.

Overall, this was a really great script, with incredible attention to detail that made it a marvel to read. Thank you for writing and sharing this with all of us, and I'm looking forward to the next episodes you post.

Goodbye for now! I hope you have a magnificent day (or night) wherever you are!

Sillyguy02 says...

Thank you for leaving a review! I appreciate it and will note distinguishing dialogue and such! We've got a lot cooking up for this series, so we're very happy you enjoyed it!

"People should not be afraid of their government. Governments should be afraid of their people."
— V for Vendetta