What happens, when you care, but you're afraid to?
What happens when all you thought you knew, was just a dream?
A dream of hopeful wishes, scattered across your heart?
What happens when the day comes, and the door is closed?
What happens to your heart, that was once floating, begins to sink below.
Through my eyes I loved you, as much as I ever could.
What happened?
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
Are you sure you want to delete this comment? This cannot be undone.
Mark this comment as a review? Points will be awarded to the poster.
Your comment was posted, but it wasn’t long enough to count as a review. Reviews need about four complete sentences (at least 250 characters). Try writing another review that explains your thoughts in more detail — the author will appreciate it, and you’ll earn points for it.
125,007 Literary Works • 672,815 Reviews
Loved it.
Only beefs with this are the lines 2 and 5. Line 2 has a sort of awkward comma in it. It would actually read as one straight, unbroken sentence (if that makes any sense at all.) But I understand sometimes that feeling that a comma ought to go somewhere whether it's needed or not. As for line 5, it begins as a question but finishes with a period. Hope that helps.
I liked the unconventional way of poetry, it is a cool way of leaving it an open ending. Maybe have more of an explanation throughout the middle of it? Food for thought...