Young Writers Society

First off I think the review below is fairly ********. The breadth of your vocabulary is quite astounding, and you shouldn't have to hide that just because the person below me doesn't want to do a few google searches to keep up with your level.

Secondly I think your poem would benefit if you opened up a word processor and played around with form, putting the words in different places on the page to give certain words more emphasis. Poetry is just as visual as it is word choice, and you can do a lot more here than plain sentences. The editor on this website is fairly sucky, so I usually recommend just taking a picture of the document and just uploading that as the file.

You misspelled ecstasy. Don't know if you meant "butchers'" or "buthers'" is something I've never heard.

That about covers it.

Legacy here for a review.

You have used a ton of strong vocabulary that I had a hard time understanding (even with a dictionary). I wasn't even able to finish the poem because the vocabulary distracted me. I would recommend using more common words if you want people to understand what you are trying to say.

I believe neem is a kind of tree, and if it is, then you have a grammar mistake in your first sentence. The way I understand it is "in the shade of tree" when it should be "in the shade of a tree".

I don't understand why physics is as sharp as a tack, because tacks aren't very sharp and physics is science. I also don't understand why you don't give your pal a name if you mention them more than once in the poem. It is very distracting.

You also misspelled ecstasy in your second to last line (it took a dictionary for me to catch that).

I wish I could review on content, but with some revision, people will be able to understand what you are trying to say. I hope I wasn't too harsh. Keep writing and Legacy out.