z
  • Home

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

The Celestial Song

by Shreya222


The anticipation was palpable as I stood among the crowd gathered at the edge of the forest in Crestwood. A once-in-a-lifetime celestial event was promised tonight, and like everyone else, I couldn't resist the allure of witnessing such a rare occurrence. The chatter around me buzzed with excitement, punctuated by occasional gasps as we scanned the darkening sky for any sign of the planets aligning.

"Can you see anything yet, Sarah?" My friend Emily nudged me, her voice tinged with excitement.

I squinted, trying to make out any unusual formations among the stars. "Not yet, but it should be happening soon."

As the minutes stretched on, the initial enthusiasm began to wane, replaced by a sense of restlessness. A few murmurs of disappointment rippled through the crowd.

"Maybe we got the time wrong," someone muttered behind me.

But just as doubt started to creep in, a strange sound pierced the air—a low, haunting melody that seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere all at once. My heart skipped a beat as I exchanged a bewildered glance with Emily.

"What is that?" she whispered, her voice barely audible over the eerie music.

I shook my head, unable to tear my eyes away from the sky. The sound grew louder, its ethereal quality sending shivers down my spine.

Without a word, a group of us exchanged determined looks and ventured into the forest, drawn by the mysterious melody. The darkness closed in around us, the only sound of our footsteps crunching on the forest floor.

"Are we sure about this?" Emily's voice quivered with uncertainty.

I swallowed hard, pushing down my fear. "We have to know what's causing that sound."

As we neared the source of the music, a clearing bathed in an otherworldly glow came into view. At its centre stood a figure, its form shimmering and indistinct against the darkness.

"What... what is that?" Emily's voice trembled with awe.

I shook my head, speechless, as the figure raised its hands, the melody reaching a crescendo. And then, with a blinding flash of light, it vanished before our eyes.

For a moment, we stood in stunned silence, the echoes of the strange melody lingering in the air around us.

"What... what just happened?" Emily's voice broke the spell, her eyes wide with disbelief.

I shook my head, unable to find the words to explain what we had just witnessed. All I knew was that our lives would never be the same after that night—the night we heard the whispers in the forest and ventured into the unknown in search of answers.

The forest seemed to hold its breath as we stood there, enveloped in the eerie stillness that followed the mysterious disappearance. A chill crept up my spine, despite the warmth of the summer night.

"We should... we should go back," someone finally spoke, their voice barely above a whisper.

But something inside me refused to leave, an insatiable curiosity gnawing at my insides. I turned to face the others, my gaze determined.

"No," I said firmly. "We need to find out what just happened. We can't just walk away from this."

There were murmurs of agreement from the group, mixed with nervous glances exchanged in the dim light of the clearing.

"We need to stick together," Emily said, her voice trembling slightly. "Whatever we find out there, we face it together."

With a silent nod, we pressed forward, our footsteps cautious as we ventured deeper into the heart of the forest. The trees seemed to close in around us, their branches reaching out like grasping fingers in the darkness.

The air grew thick with tension as we pushed through the undergrowth, every rustle of leaves sending a jolt of adrenaline through my veins. I couldn't shake the feeling that we were being watched, that unseen eyes followed our every move from the shadows.

And then, just when I thought we couldn't go any further, we stumbled upon it—a structure unlike anything I had ever seen before. It rose from the forest floor like a spectre from a forgotten dream, its ancient stones bathed in the soft glow of moonlight.

"What... what is this place?" Emily breathed, her voice barely audible over the pounding of my heart.

I shook my head, unable to tear my eyes away from the mysterious structure before us. It seemed to hum with a strange energy, pulsing with a life of its own.

"We have to go inside," I said, my voice barely more than a whisper.

With a sense of trepidation, we approached the entrance, our footsteps echoing off the ancient stones. The air grew colder as we crossed the threshold, a chill settling in my bones that had nothing to do with the night air.

And then, as we stepped into the heart of the structure, we were met with a sight that took my breath away—a chamber bathed in soft, golden light, its walls adorned with intricate carvings that seemed to dance in the flickering torchlight.

"It's... it's beautiful," Emily breathed, her voice filled with wonder.

But even as I gazed upon the wondrous sight before me, a sense of unease gnawed at the edges of my mind. There was something... something familiar about this place, something that whispered of secrets long forgotten.

And then, as if in response to my silent thoughts, a voice echoed through the chamber—a voice that seemed to come from everywhere and nowhere all at once.

"Welcome, travellers," it said, its words reverberating off the ancient stones. "You have been chosen to witness the dawn of a new age, to bear witness to the birth of a new world."

I exchanged a bewildered glance with Emily, her eyes wide with disbelief. What did it mean, this cryptic message? And what did it have to do with us?

But even as the questions swirled in my mind, I knew one thing for certain—we were standing on the brink of something incredible, something that would change our lives forever.

And as the voice spoke of prophecies and destinies, of a future yet unwritten, I felt a sense of excitement bubble up inside me—a sense of adventure that whispered of the wonders yet to come.


Is this a review?


  

Comments



User avatar


Points: 242
Reviews: 3

Donate
Sun Apr 21, 2024 5:23 am
View Likes
TheLastWriter wrote a review...



This is very very good writing!!

First a small nitpick, technically you shouldn't be starting any sentences with 'but' or 'and' as it's considered to be grammatically incorrect. It's alright if it isn't perfect as a lot of us do the same thing.

Moving on, I really the build up of the suspense. How we can see everyone be excited until it dwindles down into boredom into fear. I do wish we get a little bit more information about who else is with the protagonist and their friend Emily when they go to investigate. As it seems like everyone is excited to see this event however it's not super clear who actually gets to see the alien at the end. Maybe some more clarification earlier or later (like later on in the story) would be useful to know.

I really like how you describe how the characters feel and how it's affecting them. I also really like the set up of the mystery. It's quick and easily hooks the readers attention.

I think your writing is amazing. Very nice work.




Shreya222 says...


Thank you sooooo much for the review it means a lot to me. Thank you for the tips too and I'll surely keep them in mind when I write my next story.



User avatar
20 Reviews

Points: 609
Reviews: 20

Donate
Wed Apr 17, 2024 10:06 pm
View Likes
Inferno wrote a review...



Hello fellow writer! Let's get right into it!

To start, I wanted to ask... WHY ARE YOU SO UNDERRATED?! THIS IS SO GOOD!!! Ahem. But seriously, this is REALLY fascinating! This deserves WAY more likes.*gulps back tears of awe*
Anyway... you have such a vast vocabulary, and you know how to use it! Some people over do-it with big fancy words that make their writing sound alien, but you keep it captivating with context so I can infer what the bigger words mean.
You portray the feeling and drama really well, and the suspense is perfectly built. This part hit the spot on suspense:

But just as doubt started to creep in, a strange sound pierced the air—a low, haunting melody that seemed to come from nowhere and everywhere all at once. My heart skipped a beat as I exchanged a bewildered glance with Emily.

"What is that?" she whispered, her voice barely audible over the eerie music.

I shook my head, unable to tear my eyes away from the sky. The sound grew louder, its ethereal quality sending shivers down my spine.

You express the change in feeling amazingly! I can hear the suspenseful music in my ears. I can feel the anxiety of Sarah, Emily, and the crowd. I can see the chamber. The descriptions are very detailed. Well done on that!

Wow. I don't have much corrections on this piece. Actually, I don't have any corrections AT ALL. This was beautifully written! Very good job!

Hope you enjoyed this review! Happy Writing!




Shreya222 says...


THANK YOU SO MUCH! I mean it, this review is like a really big source of happiness for me right now, I've never had someone write such a great review for me before. <3



Inferno says...


(;



User avatar


Points: 256
Reviews: 2

Donate
Thu Apr 11, 2024 6:25 am
View Likes
Shreya222 says...



Writing 'The Celestial Song' was a thrilling experience. I aimed to create characters like Sarah and Emily that readers could easily relate to. The celestial event adds excitement and the mysterious melody draws readers into the story.

I wanted the plot to move quickly and keep readers engaged, with unexpected twists and turns keeping them on their toes. Exploring ancient secrets and discovering hidden chambers adds to the intrigue, inviting readers along for the journey.

Overall, 'The Celestial Song' is an adventure story about friendship and the quest for truth. It was a pleasure to write, and I hope readers enjoy uncovering its mysteries as much as I enjoy creating them.I do hope to continue this story if I have any new ideas and I hope that you would enjoy reading them to.





It's hard to enjoy practical jokes when your whole life feels like one.
— Rick Riordan, The Last Olympian