I want to start by saying you did a spectacular job of making the reader think and wonder. However, there are a couple parts that didn't seem to flow along with the rhythm and feel of the poem. For example in the second stanza when you said,
"Despite the whispers of, 'It's alright' or 'Stop crying',"
the flow seemed to falter. I liked what you meant to say in that line but I think there is a better way of expressing it. I think that simply omitting that "or" would make it sound less choppy. Next, the 2nd line of the 6th stanza:
"Is it because love is a fantasy?"
Maybe it's just personal preference, but I felt that using the phrase "Love is a Fantasy" is a bit cliché. I don't know what you could do to replace it, if you would want to anyway.
But aside from those minor details, I can honestly say that I enjoyed the poem very much. Very well written and original! I can definitely say that I wasn't bored while reading it. You did a good job of proposing new perspectives of the same general idea (i.e raindrops, tears, snowflakes, etc) My favorite parts are the first line of rhe first stanza and the last line of the sixth stanza. Very strong, thought provoking word choices! Keep it up! I look forward to indulging myself in another one of your poems!
Points: 102
Reviews: 38
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