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Autumn (Why is it Hard to Fall?)

by Haraya


Does an angel fear the earth as much as raindrops do?

Are rainshowers' sound of drip-drip-drop the cry of crashing hope to stay above?

-----

Why is it hard to keep tears from flowing?

Despite the whispers of "It's alright" or "Stop crying",

they seem to jump on their own and embrace the earth

How much courage do tears have to face their own fall?

-----

Like every snowflake born in the heavens to reach the ground,

We are born on the earth to reach the sky.

But can a snowflake return to where it came from?

Will that be their own hope's demise?

-----

But then how come those that jump off the land can fall back down with broken hands?

Is it humility? Is it meekness? Or does all go back to weakness?

-----

The heat rises, the cold sinks; as there is sunrise, there is also sunset

No matter how much often this happens, that things must go down,

Why is the earth too hard and oceans too firm to fall into?

Why does it seem like nothing is waiting to save us from despair?

-----

Is it because the world is chaotic?

Is it because love is a fantasy?

Or is it because our reality is twisted--

that our perspective is up at the stars as we remain below them?

-----

After all, not everything that falls crashes--

feathers can glide and wings can fly

Then perhaps can it be us giving ourselves weight?

If we lose ourselves, then can we finally avoid the hopelessness of our fall?


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38 Reviews


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Fri Dec 02, 2016 8:19 am
ElvenJedi wrote a review...



I want to start by saying you did a spectacular job of making the reader think and wonder. However, there are a couple parts that didn't seem to flow along with the rhythm and feel of the poem. For example in the second stanza when you said,

"Despite the whispers of, 'It's alright' or 'Stop crying',"

the flow seemed to falter. I liked what you meant to say in that line but I think there is a better way of expressing it. I think that simply omitting that "or" would make it sound less choppy. Next, the 2nd line of the 6th stanza:

"Is it because love is a fantasy?"

Maybe it's just personal preference, but I felt that using the phrase "Love is a Fantasy" is a bit cliché. I don't know what you could do to replace it, if you would want to anyway.

But aside from those minor details, I can honestly say that I enjoyed the poem very much. Very well written and original! I can definitely say that I wasn't bored while reading it. You did a good job of proposing new perspectives of the same general idea (i.e raindrops, tears, snowflakes, etc) My favorite parts are the first line of rhe first stanza and the last line of the sixth stanza. Very strong, thought provoking word choices! Keep it up! I look forward to indulging myself in another one of your poems!




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Fri Dec 02, 2016 2:49 am
MeadowFlower wrote a review...



This poem made me think. I like your thoughts and your ideas, how you look at it from different angles (snowflakes, raindrops, feathers, etc.) and how you give the reader something new. I wouldn't have thought of how a snowflake is born in the heavens to fall to the ground, and how it can't really get back, but we can fall back to te ground if we try to reach the heavens. How we don't just land there, like snowflakes on the ground. I quite liked that about the poem, all the imaginary and your ideas.

My favourite lines are:

"How much courage do tears have to face their own fall?"

and

"Why is the earth too hard and oceans too firm to fall into?"

I really like your poem; good job!!




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Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:57 pm
Casanova wrote a review...



Heya, ShinXMakoto! Casanova here to do a review for you! Anyway, I'll be taking this piece by piece so I hope you don't mind.

Does an angel fear the earth as much as raindrops do?

Are rainshowers' sound of drip-drip-drop the cry of crashing hope to stay above?


Anyway, I reallly like your starting lines They're strong, full of imagery, and I feel like they're the best lines out of your poem. Good! Strong beginning lines hook the reader in. Now keep me reeled in.

Why is it hard to keep tears from flowing?

Despite the whispers of "It's alright" or "Stop crying",

they seem to jump on their own and embrace the earth

How much courage do tears have to face their own fall?


Okay, one thing I didn't like about this. You start off by asking a question and asking if something is one thing, then continue on as if it is instead of describing why you think it's that way. I think doing that would be better instead of continuing on with the idea that they are, and just describe why you think it is. If that makes any sense. Anyway, onward.

That's the only real problem I have with your poem. The imagery switches and you don't go into detail about your side of it after the beginning, and I found that rather disappointing.

Anyway, that's all I have to say on that one and I hope it helped.

Keep on doing what you're doing and keep on keeping on.

Sincerely, Matthew Casanova Aaron




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Thu Dec 01, 2016 9:12 pm
Kaylaa wrote a review...



This is Kaos here for a review!

The title is the thing that drew me to this poem and I kind of wanted to know the reasoning of why this poem was made in deeper detail. The title is something that pulled me in and I wanted more of that inside the poem. The theme of the poem is something that needed more of a push or guide to how to interpret the poem, more so I want to know why the poem was made. Don't spell everything out with the theme, which is something that I think contrasts my thoughts and it doesn't really give the reader a place to interpret anything, and that's one of the only things the reader gets to do and participate and do while reading poetry. Interpretation; it's your job to give the reader something to interpret.

There was a lack of voice in this poem for me. There wasn't really any personal style laying in it? Another thing is that in the poem, there were an excess amount of question marks. I suggest you form your sentences differently than what they are now because it gets stale easily. It doesn't make for strong lines when you're using it all the time. Another thing that I wanted to touch on is the imagery and word choice.

Broaden your vocabulary to better capture the tone of the poem, for one, and the second reason that you benefit from this is to not use as many broad words like "love" or "hate" or "war". This is something that I see pop up in this poem and instead of doing that, you should define what you mean by that and /show/ us it. You can say that you're happy or sad in a poem, but I won't believe you until you /show/ your happiness and describe it. Metaphors and similes are great for this purpose. Some of the lines are very heavy with emotional weight which is something that was a positive from this poem.

I hope I helped and have a great day!




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Thu Dec 01, 2016 3:16 pm
Frinderman says...



Though I don't feel like reviewing this, I would like to mention that I love this poem.
Have a great day. ^-^





"I love you as certain dark things are to be loved, in secret, between the shadow and the soul."
— Pablo Neruda