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12+

Chasing Sunsets

by SharadaBastia


The horizon lights up-

With flares of yellow and red;

As though spilling from a fallen cup.

You stared as the sky bled,

Blazing like dying embers.

Clouds wrapped around like bandages

Whiskey splotches and strawberry swirls;

The dying sun rages.

Fading into a blue so deep-

Troubles forgotten, knots untangled,

Slipping gently into blissful sleep.

The melting dusk, the ending day

The stars spell out in the sky-

You are going to be okay.


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19 Reviews


Points: 65
Reviews: 19

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Sun Nov 22, 2020 2:04 am
kaydenwrites wrote a review...



Wow, I really loved this poem and your use of imagery was amazing, not just of the sunset, but of the feelings the viewer has.

I really liked a lot of your word choice, as it helped bring the image to life, especially in lines like "Clouds wrapped around like bandages, Whiskey splotches and strawberry swirls." Not only did you create a vivid picture of the sky, but your word choice gave you an vague idea of the character, with words like "bandages" and "whiskey."

I also really enjoyed the line "The dying sun rages," as it gave the scene a far more violent feel. In addition, I loved the contrast between that feeling and the far calmer, more serene ending of "a blue so deep" and the rest of the end.

The end was beautiful and calming, and again the contrast between the violent imagery of the sunset, full of warm colors, and the cool dark night sky was gorgeous. You did a great job.

If I had to critique it, I would just suggest that you break it up a bit into more separate stanzas, as that might make it a bit easier to read.

Overall, great job! I really enjoyed this ^-^





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