Hey, ShannKenn!
Courtney Shillings was a pig doctor. Unlike most full-blooded Vanut people, he’d never had the desire to explore the world beyond the horizon. No, Courtney was perfectly content watching the waves lap at the shores of the same island, day in, day out. Even as stories of the distant war found their way to him, through the mouths of travellers and traders, he was steadfast in his choice.
I really like this introduction to the story, as well as Courtney's character! There's already a sense of contentment that just settles down after this line, after describing something familiar to Courtney that he is satisfied to watch and to live with for the foreseeable future. I do suspect this will be upset, as most characters lives are for stories and plots, but it's still a lovely way to start!
Courtney’s sister Marion hovered worriedly nearby
I don't think you need "worriedly" here? Hovering does, especially in this context, already imply worrying. This is fine as it is, but might I suggest that Marion is sitting nearby her sow, tired from trying and failing to help? Perhaps, "His sister, Marion, sat against the wall, her breath almost in sync with the poor sow's. Her knees were muddied[...]" and so on. It's up to you, but I think it may add a little to the character and the desperation of the scene if Marion has been trying to help for some time and it hasn't been working, and now she's just as tired as the sow?
“They won’t come,” Marion informed him.
"informed him" seems like a pretty clinical dialogue tag? Whether she's worried about the pig herself, or for what she may lose if she loses both the sow and her litter, she's still at least somewhat distressed. I don't even think "said" would be so bad here, since it's simple and wouldn't distract from the dialogue, but "informed" caught me enough off guard that I thought I would mention it to you.
It's really interesting to see a culture that seems to wrap and revolve itself around their animal husbandry, specifically relating to pigs! I'd be curious to see what other livestock they raise on the island (as it's mentioned twice that there's livestock and not just pigs), but it seems none of them are as important as pigs (I'm definitely curious as to why specifically pigs! I should clarify that it's not a criticism, but I'm genuinely wondering why they built their lives around pigs? Is there some significance to that, or were pigs just the most plentiful and easy to access on their island? It there a religious reason for it? Ahh, sorry, I just love this kind of worldbuilding!).
It's also sweet to see, despite the tragedy of Betsy's death, how much Marion cared for her. Raising livestock like that, especially from birth, is such a meaningful connection and I feel for her and her loss.
Your writing style is smooth and easy to follow, which I greatly appreciate. At no point was I confused or needed to reread something to understand what you meant. Kudos to you, and keep up that good work
Hopefully something in there was helpful for you! Let me know if you had any questions about anything I said!
I hope you have a wonderful day!
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