Hey.
It's me. Remember?
All those time we spent together?
All those time you said you're here and I believed you?
All those time you texted me don't worry I'm not gone?
Now look at you
You seem happy with her
How'd you lie like that?
Didn't bother to tell me the truth?
I wish I could wear a mask like you did and make you feel better
So you could've lied a little longer
But I'm afraid I couldn't wear any makeup to hide my pains from you
You saw my skin, you saw me naked
You saw me, my soul, all alone
But Now I'm okay, I can also wear a mask
And lie to everyone, even me
I'm okay, to see you with her, holding hands
Where you used to hold mine
Now I think maybe you also said to her that you're here
And she believed all your lies.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
Possible AI signals:
Original Text:
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Wow. This poem was breathtaking and I have just recently gone through a situation like described in the poem and it gave me the feels. Its raw but at the same time it aggressive and addressing the hard truth. I loved the poem so much and there wasn't much I could say I didn't like. I will admit at first the questions being asked over and over seemed kinda like it was taking away from the piece but as I kept reading it really tied in. I really love this poem and I hope to see more like this. Thank you for writing.
Omg you're welcome. It's really great having you guys saying things about my poem. Because few days earlier nobody said it was good
Hello kira!:)
This was quite touching. It was really relatable and flowed really well. I think it is really nice because everyone goes through stuff like this at some point and always needs something to push them back in the right direction. It is a really sad poem but it is a good kind of sad. It is a relatable kind of sad. A really sad sad lol.
So, good job to you! GOOD JOB! I haven't seen any of your other works but I hope they are as good as this one!
I look forward to seeing them!
Your friend,
Honora
Thank you. It's really great to see so many reviews. And I don't know what to say. Thank you for reading too. It's really amazing to see you guys reviews and stuff. Thank you
This is nicely done! Each line flowed really well together... and I can feel the raw emotion from this because of each line being voiced as the character's thoughts. Using a mask to compare how this character hides their true face is also a really good metaphor... and I think kt for in really well. I especially like the line "you saw me, my soul, all alone" because it really gives the readers a sense of vulnerability from the character.
I dont think there was particularly any errors to fix... so I'll just say it again: great job! Also, welcome to this community... I hope to read more of your work!
I'm really excited to post my stories and everything I've done here. I'll post everything. Like literally everything. Thank you so much.
No problem
And I can't wait until you do!
Hey, Che here for a quick review!
First of all, I would just like to say that you did a really good job at getting your emotions across in this poem. I could really feel the heartache practically fly off of each line. It felt like line after line of just raw emotion that made it pretty sad to read.
I did like the structure, though I think you could have separated it into stanzas just to make it a little easier on the eyes when reading it.
Overall, you did a superb job at making this a true emotive piece of poetry. Sorry if I keep repeating myself! I'm not really sure how else to phrase it, y'know?
Keep writing!
Regards, Che
Thank you so much. I'm glad to have this reviews. And about stanzas I haven't tried but I'll. Thank you so much.