Inside of me is me
given to me by me
All of me is me
made for me by me.
Oh Inside of me is love
For those around and about
All of the people I see
destined for something ...
See, Inside of me i dream
Of being known and renown
All of the people who see
Appreciating what I do.
But inside Of me i doubt
Can I be ever great?
All of the wonders of life
What can I add to it?
And Inside of me there's you
Who guides and is always there
All of the time I'm alive
Showing me errs and the time
Though Inside of me i hold
The dreams of those I'll aid
All of their purpose they see
As long as I show the light
Yet Inside of me is without
Not for me but for you
All of me is not mine
Meant for service to others
So Inside of me i give
That which has grown
All that I have in me
To work without and well
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125,005 Literary Works • 672,809 Reviews
Chilow for the review, here we go
I'm here to say that those doubts are entirely foundless, so keep up the good work! I'll be reading your work as you post it, so expect to see my reviews again xD Cheers!
"Inside of me is me
given to me by me
All of me is me
made for me by me." ---- Much as RippleGylf said, these lines alone pretty accurately sum up what it truly means to be yourself, to be me. Nothing can really adequately describe what makes any one person the way they are, as me is an endlessly unique term. Only "me" describes me. I like that you were able to so eloquently state that in just the first few lines of the poem.
"But inside Of me i doubt
Can I be ever great?
All of the wonders of life
What can I add to it?"
----- Of course, this can't just be a happy-go-lucky poem. Life isn't all sweet times and happy happenings, so it only makes sense that the poem might not be as well. This pretty effectively sums up the inescapable doubt that I'm sure just about everyone has before they die. I commend you for being able to place your fears in front of us, the reviewers; I know I am not that brave, and that it is easier to hide than to put yourself on display. I will say though, that honestly, most of the time, our doubts are solely our own. For example, your poetry is phenomenal! You might already know that, but maybe you had doubts
Thank you, I'll definitely be posting something soon, hope to see you soon
I really liked this poem, and I think it accurately describes those ponderings of "What makes up me?"
I feel like this initial repetition of "me" is an excellent way to start off the poem and establish what you're trying to say. I'll admit that I don't necessarily know what you're going for here, but that's just a part of poetry, isn't it? Interpretation of poetry requires thought.
I can definitely relate to these lines. That desire to shine, while doubting you'll ever be able to. And of course, you look at all of these wonderful things others have come up with, and wonder "How am I supposed to fit in?' And yet these thoughts all connect back to the first few lines. These pressures are all coming from within.
Now this part seems to contradict the first few lines. However, it is just as true, and just as touching. This section refers to the impact others have on us, and the desperate hope that we have influenced others just as much. Since we have been guided, we want to guide others. I absolutely love that.
And then there's responsibility, which, again, we force upon ourselves. There is always a part of us that we give to others, of our own free will.
Overall, I think it is a very well-written poem. You could probably afford to use some more vivid imagery, but you get your point across regardless. Keep writing!
Thanks for your review, it really means a lot to me.
Thanks for your review, it really means a lot to me.
I think that with a little more thought or creative word choices this poem could really become something great. Now don't get me wrong I still like it and think it is well-written but every poem could be improved.
Everyone wants to be famous and liked by the masses and everyone hopes that they'll end up doing something great and won't be forgotten. So this poem is in fact very relatable and true and for that I applaud you. However I do see some room for growth and improvement. First of all, no really one line captures you or makes you think 'wow, how did they come up with that?' Whenever you write a poem you want to make sure that it's to the very best of your ability and that it could maybe even make the reader gasp. Some lines in here are a little confusing or frankly a little cliched. Now I'm sorry if I come across as harsh but I am only trying to help. Overall it's a good poem and shows that you do have talent but a little more effort and creativity could go a long way.
Thank you for your review, it's really appreciated, I am going to work on it and hopefully it will be better and might even make you gasp.
hi there,
this is interesting, except it was a bit troubling reading and grasping the concept.
i think that, if you had separated it into some sort of stanza, it would have be even better.
All the same, it's a good piece. polish it some more and it will glitter.
Thank you, I tried that (separating it into stanzas) but it didn't work, I'll try to do something about it.