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Shade Users-Chapter 1

Chapter 1

The pack ran through the streets yipping and howling with excitement. I ran with the group, howling and laughing along with everyone; giving congratulations and thanks to everyone around me. We had just made a run into a neighboring gang’s territory just to tease them, and the entire pack was on an adrenaline high from it. Some of them were so unable to control themselves that they ran as wolves - wolves bigger than some of the smaller horses here. They ran past house after house of closed shutters and dark roads, the adults shaking in fear while the children listened, filled with a similar mixture of awe and fear from their safe beds.

Silence fell over them like a blanket, only made possible without anyone questioning it due to the harsh initiation and strong bonds everyone formed within the first weeks of joining the gang; one of the many reasons why once you join, you’re in for life. The squeal of tires was hard to miss, heard mere seconds after the silence had fallen. Either some tourist was passing through and thought they were being funny - or the police were chasing after someone. Lately, the police have been out a lot, though it’s not like they’re able to catch us that much easier; it’s almost as though they’ve been more focused on collecting something else - not just us.

Within a single moment of silence from the group, I could sense what everyone was thinking and waiting for. Most times, we separate when sirens are heard, but this was only tire squealing. Decisively, I spin on my heel, turning and taking off towards the north at a quick jog. The rest of the pack follows my example, taking off in separate directions. They melt into the thick velvet night, disappearing as quickly and silently as they had appeared.

Momentarily delaying my return to our headquarters, I began my ascent of the nearest home with the purpose of investigating the disturbances that had scattered us. Peering out across the rooftops, I decided that the tire tracks and squeals were indeed the result a cop who was chasing a user around the homes and through the roads. Watching the officer, I noted the way that the user was running desperately to escape him; even if it were to put the leader in extreme danger, top priority must always be to bring news back to warn the gang.

Of course, no one knew I was the leader. The Leader is a rarely seen sight, except to oversee the more important missions and to deal with ay rival gangs. None of the gang - to my knowledge, at least - had figured it out yet. The story I use is that I am unable to use a vial due to a severe reaction that they had caused me last time I had tried. Supposedly, I was only still in the gang because of my knowledge and battle experience, which had somehow earned me a place as the co-leader - a deputy of sorts when the Leader wasn’t around.

Returning my thoughts to the task at hand, I checked to make sure I was alone before walking towards base, head low and shoulders hunched, face covered to keep the rain from getting into my open mouth. A tingling at the base of my skull alerted me to the fact that someone was following close behind. Of course it was someone I know, the only person from the BP gang was allowed over here without being chased out, and could gave me the tingling feeling. Most days I would have turned and dealt with her, but today was not one of those days.

“Mo.” I began, pausing with a sigh. “You know you’re not supposed to be over here, I really don’t feel like having to pay the BP a visit this late at night.”

Turning to watch Mo leave, I find she has already left so I resumed my walk. As the night continues, I glimpse more and more BP as I near the Neutral gang’s territory. The BP always have people out on patrol and while I did send out people, it was only as punishment or if they wanted it. Newbies are kept away from it, mainly because the other gangs seem to pick fights with other gang patrols - lines become blurry when a fight starts. A low thrumming resonated through my core at the looming threat; my left hand inching towards the small blade I had strapped on the inside of my arm. My right hand out and waiting, not yet ready to go for the vial in my pocket. It didn’t matter what other gangs had heard, if I was pushed into a corner, it just meant one less lie I had to keep track of.

All of these people were from the Blasphemist gang, a gang that only allowed specific users into their gang, feline users. It showed in the way they all looked, slim bodies with sharp facial features and quick eyes. These were some of the worse users, since they all had a bad temper and couldn’t follow orders well. Four out of the five had a vial in one hand and an assorted weapon in the other - one had a dagger, one a small ball and chain, one with a short sword, and another with a dagger - the only one who didn’t have a weapon was the one directly in front of me. Sighing I put my dagger back into its sheath and raised my head, smirking.

“Oh Elda. To what do I owe the pleasure of this meeting, on Neutral land as well? Especially when we both know, that should you or your cronies attack me here, that’s breaking the turf rules. Practically declaring war on me and my gang!” My smirk widened ever so slightly, false caring in my voice and all this seemed to irritate her, so I kept it on my face, nothing like a good tease to make people harder to work with.

Turf rules were plain and simple; no attacking on neutral ground, entering another gangs turf removes you from any protection of your gang, unless you have already declared a war. Other than that, it was common sense. The funny portion was, the land we were standing on belonged to the Neutral gang, who had made these rules and made sure to enforce them anytime it came to their attention. Their turf was free to walk on, as long as that’s all you were doing.

Of course, we had just paid them off, which meant they were in our pocket till the end of the week, we used them or lower gangs to run patrol when we could afford it. It kept the money flowing around the city, as well as got us into their pay books for the next time we need them. The roof tops seemed to hum with growling from the younger wolves that had found me, Elda only gave a slight smile.

“Why, I only wanted to have a talk with you on peaceful terms.” Elda hissed out as she slowly rocked from foot to foot. When most people describe gangs as mischievous thieves and murderers out to cause trouble and pain, they were right, about half the gangs anyways. The Shade users though, we were different, that’s what we had aimed for and achieved.

We were a gang of wolf users, known for our kindness, loyalty, and demon likeness(?). While most of the users in Elda’s gang were Siberian tigers. They were quick to turn on one another if they thought there was a profit to be made. The four watched their leader with a respect that was hard to come by in that gang, even if most of it was fear induced. I felt something stir to my left, and while I didn’t even look, I had a feeling I knew who it was.

More than likely it was Chad, he was the stealthiest in the entire gang, he could even hide from me -which was impressive in itself, seeing as how I try to train to be the best- to be someone my wolves can mold themselves after. More of my wolves appeared, not to Elda’s eyes, but to my ‘radar’, almost all of us in the gang have it, once we connect with someone, we can feel them anytime they get near. As well as if they were in distress. I felt like a proud mother in that moment, my wolves hidden in the darkness even from the animals who were supposed to have the best night vision. They were waiting for the attack I hoped didn’t come.

“Well then, why not talk right now? Here is as peaceful as its going to get Elda.” I gestured to her cronies who were already shifting from foot to foot in a nervous dance that suggested they wanted a fight. It’s always the eyes that give it away. Elda shifts again, knowing something isn’t right, and doesn’t want to talk here, but it must be important since she tells me anyways.

“Fine!” she snaps, I feel a growl pass through me, surprised when I recognized it as my own. Lately it has been said the drug is not in as high of a demand because some people are able to access the transformation all on their own, a little trigger such as the prick of a needle the only thing they need to get it going. “Someone has been picking up all the users who fail initiation for any gang and giving them our scar of failure. Figure I would warn you about a possible new gang moving into the neighborhood.”

Elda glared at me and I watch Chad as he comes out of the shadows and hands me a paper, the cats hiss at Chad, wondering how long he had been there. I looked down and smiled, it was an information break down of this new ‘gang’. Although as I continued to read farther down the page, my smile faltered, there was something worse than a new gang coming, and it would be the closest thing this town had ever had to a war.

“Hmm, seems the government is finally stepping in to turn this town into one that is properly equated with the era it’s supposed to be in, as well as getting users off the streets and gangs into jail.” I announce as I turn away and walk around the corner. Looking back around in time to watch Elda climb the wall and disappear with her cat cronies. I could feel the hundreds of eyes shift to me as the threat disappeared, this new information required attention. Although I couldn’t exactly give a speech to them out here in the open.

I began a low thrumming noise and the other wolves picked it up, this noise was an amazing thing in itself, as it could carry for miles around the creator of the noise, it was a simple signal to meet back at the base. This was some interesting information, as it meant both new meat, and a gang that could be worse than the BP, not to mention the government stepping in should prove for some entertaining developments. As I began walking, one of the smaller young ones jumped from the roof and landed on my back, trying to land as softly as he could. The impact still forced me down to one knee. I laughed and turned to grin at the poor boy whose face was tear streaked from worry and an odd fear.

“Well, hello there Todd. You think that new group of trouble makers will be coming with us tonight?”

“Nu uh, dey too scared of leader!”

“If you’re not scared of that woman, then you better be sure you’re not already dead.” Chad spoke as he passed me smirking. The alley filled with a light kind of laughter, I watched Chad go, a smirk tugging at my own face. Out of all the wolves, I would suspect him to be the only one to truly know my little lie. Looking back at Todd I smile and even to me, it felt fake. Poor Todd, only six years old and already in a gang. At least he was in this one and not some other one like BP. As well as the fact that he wasn’t a user yet, we don’t allow that till they are at least at the age of 12 or so.

Slowly I turn and begin the long run towards base, knowing I didn’t have the time to stop and make my nightly visits tonight. After all, this new force could be sitting in the very homes she had been going to visit. As I ran, the feeling of pity crawled into her heart against her wish. With Todd on my back, my mind wandered to how if everything wasn’t so screwed up here, everyone would have a proper family.

‘But then you would be all alone.’ my mind whispered in retaliation and I shoved the comment into the back of my mind, focusing on only the run.

Of course, almost everyone is back at the base before me, as I had taken a longer rout, looking for any more clues as to what could be coming. When I entered, the whole warehouse exploded in howls and cheers. Kam was a well-respected and loved member, as well as the fact that she earned her right to stay in the gang every night.

The funny thing to me was, that I honestly could probably run a user gang without ever having ever been a user myself. The only problem with that would be the fact that many people would feel that it holds no meaning for a non-user leader running a user gang. Slowly I begin my rounds of telling each table the news, asking for info and then moving into nicer topics such as any successful runs or raids over the week. As the night wore on, I knew that I would have to come up with some way to allow the raids and runs to continue with as little risk to both the runners, and the gang. In my head was a plan, but the best I would be able to do would be suggesting it. I would have to bring out the Leader to finalize anything that impacts the gang so much.

Standing, I walk to the back of the warehouse, not caring who watched me and who didn’t. As I closed the door behind me, thoughts run rampant through my mind, even ones about revealing that I was both Leader and Kam. I could barely even remember why I had split myself into two people, a reason that would no longer matter should this new issue be more devastating than that fire ten years ago. Gooseflesh ran along my arms at the thought of it.

‘Not tonight’ I whispered to the other side of my mind, everyone will have enough to deal with tonight as it is. Not to mention I would have to prove that I could indeed use a vial. Then everyone would know I had lied to them, and for what reason? A reason none of them would understand the weight of, at least, not if I told them the reason without the story behind it, a story I was not going to share, not yet anyways. With a sigh I walked into the office that the leader was supposed to occupy, I slipped on the large leather overcoat and baggy pants, put my hair up under the cap, allowing a single strand of hair to fall out of the messy bun I had made. I stood in front of the full length mirror for a moment before pulling the mask over my mouth. The face I saw was not very happy or cheerful, nothing like the Kam everyone knew, this face was disciplined and held a lifetime of painful scars and stories hidden under the baggy and large clothing.

Of course I wasn’t surprised to see the movement barely caught by the full length mirror, I had suspected someone had been breaking in and watching me. I knew who it was and it honestly didn’t bother me. Opening the draw with a number pad on the bottom, using a gloved hand of course, I punched in the number code. The drawer opened and I placed a vial in a small compartment attached to her left arm and right leg. A small dagger in the right arm and an extendable baton on her left leg. When I was sure that the person couldn’t see it, I opened a small compartment inside the draw and pulled out a concentrated version of the drug in a smaller vial, this one went into a very specially made compartment under her shirt, just below the solar plexus, so as to allow the needle portion to dig right into the depression of the solar plexus. This of course was for emergencies only.

Taking a deep breath, I made sure she could feel the needle of the vial press into my solar plexus. I turned and watched Chad drop from the ceiling and in my path, why did it seem that was becoming a thing? I gave the best smile that I could from behind the mask, the smile promising that I would let them know, soon, just not tonight. Leader is the one that walks out of the door, her air of authority demanding every eye and attention in the entire warehouse, and they responded by doing so. The crowd watched her with a respect derived from the fact that she could put any man on his back with a broken spine and a soul in hell in less time than it took someone to gasp. As well as the fact that she was fair, kind, and treated her gang like they were family, and to her, they were.

“My children.” Leader began, her voice muffled by the mask, as well as changed by habit to be pitched higher. She walks slowly to the center of the warehouse, looking in every pair of eyes she can, making sure everyone has heard her. “I have several things to inform you of this night. Some good, some bad, and some.” She paused for effect, this was half the fun of this job, this was like a stage; her gang an everlasting audience. “Are things you’re going to love to sink your teeth into.” The last portion of the sentence dipping an octave, almost to match Kam’s voice. The gang went wild once more, any fear or doubt destroyed by the presence of their leader.

“A new project has been issued from the government to try and pull this town into the era it’s supposed to be. Now this wouldn’t be a problem, if it didn’t involve taking users and placing them in jail, users in rehab, and orphans in orphanages, such as our beloved Todd.” Everyone growled at this, everyone adored Todd. As he reminded them of what life could be, that not everything was about blood and money, that there was purpose besides the gang out there. Leader paused to allow them to vent their rage, before speaking above the noise with a few sentences. “These Ellies wish to take our lives and loved ones from us. We will stand and fight for our right to live here, to do as we wish, to provide for our families! And most importantly, to be able to be the animals we have come to love and respect, to be the wolves we were born to be!” The noise rose to unimaginable levels. The windows rattled from the howls issued by at least a hundred or more human beings.

There was confusion-as expected-but Kam would be the one to explain later in calm terms what everything was, the things people didn’t understand. Leader was a figure to rile people up, remove them of fear and fill them with a confidence that came from protecting things they held dear. I watched from behind the mask with a glee I felt every time they exalted the Leader, every time I could feel the love and respect filtering through me by means of that special little connection. Everyone could and did feel this, it was one thing no other gang had or could ever replicate.

“Starting tomorrow, all training patterns will change, all members will train, and all members will live. As well as a long term project put to use.” Leader stepped off the large circle and stepped on a very oddly placed as well as odd to walk on stone, the circle grinding and slowly opening.

The silence never came like she expected, instead everyone rushed forward yelling and screaming with a joy that was similar to giving a child a new toy. Obviously this large secret had left the bag a bit too early, Leader looked over at Todd and saw him blush and hide his eyes. He was the only other one beside Chad that might know that Leader and Kam was the same person. I waved him over and Todd came running, no one could get mad at him for small things. Sure he had been scolded for not covering his tracks or never double checking something before using or opening it, but in a gentle manner, he was only six for Christ sake.

With Todd on my back and the last person jumping in, howling as he slid downward, Leader pressed the button once more before quickly running and jumping through the hole, her coat almost getting caught in the closing stone. Todd was pulled around to Leader’s stomach as they slid down the three hundred foot slide of dusted metal. The dusting had only been for fun, as it made you go faster…too fast for Todd obviously. The poor child was crying and shaking by the time they reached the end, while I on the other hand was laughing at Todd, at least he wasn’t making any noise. That was one thing we had drilled into his head, he can cry as often as he wants, as long as he doesn’t make any noise.

The sight before me always took away the breath from my body, and it almost made Todd fall over and faint, from going from bashful and happy to scared to surprised. I gave a soft smile and picked up Todd easily before walking forward, this had been found only about a year ago. The workers who had been helping repair it had done more than an amazing job and I watched as my wolves ran after one another, checking out the area, opening doors and running up and down the homes and buildings before running out and climbing impossibly growing trees and the buildings they grew near.

“Welcome to your new home and living quarters, I expect this to stay a secret for the entire time you live. If this is destroyed, you will have lost the best gem you have ever been handed, that I can guarantee.” Leader said, her voice rising to the reinforced rock ceiling and bouncing down to the stone paved roads. This underground metropolis made for thousands, now housed a hundred or more after many, many years under disrepair. 

Comments & reviews · 4
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Hi! Cricket here for a review!

I'd have to say that this was far better than your prologue. The prologue was awesome as it was actually what a prologue should be like, but this had better description and something actually was going on that helped with moving the plot forward. I've found that moving the plot forward is something that most writers struggle with; but I see that you don't so far by reading this.

I'd have to say that the biggest problem here is the show don't tell. I've already gone into this but I figured a link might also be helpful. So here you go]. This should help you out in this regard, as the article itself has helped me out a BUNCH.

Next I'd like to talk about dialogue punctuation. Let me show you an example.

If this is destroyed, you will have lost the best gem you have ever been handed, that I can guarantee.” Leader said, her voice rising to the reinforced rock ceiling and bouncing down to the stone paved roads.


See the period after you end your dialogue and go into the dialogue tag? That shouldn't be there, but a comma should be replacing it. When going into a dialogue tag (he said, she said, he replied, he laughed, ect..,) you always have a comma and not a period. Just a standard rule in grammar is all. To prevent confusion on this, there's this awesome link here that should really help you out in this area]. Hope it helps somewhat, as this particular problem is really quite important to fix. Readers don't want to be reading through and correcting your grammar, but rather reading through and enjoying the solidness of your grammar. :)

Poor Todd, only six years old and already in a gang


Awww, that is sad. Kids that young shouldn't be involved is such affairs. That's just... pitiful, really.

Overall, there are very few grammatical errors, and not one typo that I could see. It seems that either you are amazing at editing and making sure there aren't any silly errors for us to pick up on, or you are good typing things out. Whichever one, good job on it. I always appreciate reading a work that doesn't have any typos throughout it that I feel like I have to bring out. xD ^ ^

I guess I'd just have to say to work on the show don't tell and your dialogue punctuation. More likely, the show don't tell is more important but dialogue punctuation is also a very big problem. So it would be a good idea to focus on both while writing, I think. :D Other than that, you're doing simply amazing! Make sure you tell me when you post the next chapter!

Keep writing!

~Cricket

I haven't been on here for forever...like, an entire year has passed! (Bad joke intended). I think i get what you are suggesting about the 'show not tell' and I will try to add it in better. I have another chapter of the story ready, but I have been putting off uploading it since it sounds a bit off. Lets see if i cant upload it by next week so i can keep getting your awesome help >~<

Sure! Just let me know when you do. :)

User avatar
BookWolf
Review

Wow! :D This is SO much better than the Prolouge. Not that Prolouge was bad, its just that this one is so good. You're ability to describe things is just amazing. And I love the idea that some people have to take drugs, I think that's very creative.

Just a few mistakes;



“Well then why not talk right now? (There should be a comma after 'then')

“Well hello there Todd. (There should be a comma after 'well)

Chad spoke as he passed me smirking. (There should be a comma after 'me')

Standing I walk to the back of the warehouse, (There should be a comma after 'Standing')



Nothing bad at all! :D Comma are bound to be forgotten some time, especially with this long of a chapter.

I am really looking forward to Chapter 2! I can't wait to find out more about this world of mystery and gangs. :D

Bye for now!

~BookWolf

Thanks, will get right on those! I do hope that these chapters will come out better and better with the reviews you guys are giving me :D

User avatar
haven235
Review

All right! Onto the review:

So drugs turn people into giant animals, and gangs use this drug as their weapons instead of actual weapons? Hope these animals have special abilities too, or else the police will be a most unbeatable foe. The idea of the mc having a double identity is interesting so far, and I wonder how this develops as the story goes along.

In terms of the text, it seems like this chapter is still in its first drafts. Needs a ton of proofreading, for mistakes similar to the ones in your prologue.

And the point - of - view changes are very confusing. Either use italics to indicate whoever is thinking those lines, or get rid of it altogether. It won't make much of a difference without it, at least as of what I see so far. Also the random pieces of background are sometimes redundant as well as breaks the flow of the piece. Try to catch those repeated details, and also try to weave them in more smoothly into the text.

Looking forward to the next installment.

It dosen't sound stupid does it D:, sure it's one of my more out there stories, but to me it was like a story of shapeshifters, where anyone could become one, you just needed a vial. *shrugs* prob not my best on anyways XD

The idea can be absolutely asinine but the story as a whole can still be enjoyable. It depends on how you work with it. And I believe that you'll lead this one to a good direction *o*)b

Alright, well i will work on editing this ch before putting another out, just not tonight lol...

Switching pronouns doesn't always make things easier to understand. I'd say, take time to rework it. If you have to, redo the whole chapter - but I DON'T mean change the scenes, unless you want to.

User avatar
haven235
Comment

Haha~so my hunches were correct after all.

Just wanted to say that. I haven't gotten to the chapter yet, but I will later, and then, review!

Lol yea, i have all the way up to chapter 4 written...but this was all written in a notebook as a skeleton, so it might end up sounding off the more i post :P Cant wait to hear your review :D



Look closely. The beautiful may be small.
— Immanuel Kant, Philosopher