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125,018 Literary Works • 672,856 Reviews
This is very good! I lived Japan, so I definitely know about how much emotion and detail you can put into a haiku. You know something really cool is, I've seen Sakura trees. I laid under a sakura tree for a whole day once (no lie), and it was summer, and this haiku, albeit short. Completely encompasses what it felt like. It makes me nostalgic
very nice Sakura<3333 ^^
Hi there, Sakura! This'll be short and sweet, and will hopefully get you [and me] a bit more adjusted to haiku.
First off, you've captured a beautiful image--something very warm, sprintimesque, comforting--and you've given it in the proper packaging of on; however, I'm unsure if this really hits the head of the typical juxtaposition of duality that traditional haiku aim for. Traditionally, you'll find two elements placed together to bring light to a third, unmentioned thing. This is often the beauty of haiku, and why, by my guess, it was so ragingly popular in the far east.
Now, to contrast this point, I have a lot of interest in your use of Sakura as the flower--both for the symbolism of the cloud/passing by/the transient nature of old things, and for the fact that it's your username, which brings you into the haiku. Now, this doesn't hold much light to the reader, but as for the symbolism, despite having to delve a bit into meaning, you've got something going on. So kudos.
I won't bark about every line being inappropriately capitalized. Write intentionally in that regard.
Let me know if you have any questions.
-Lumi