Prologue
July 17, 1996
Raven Nightingale's Point Of View
The late afternoon's hard, driving rain had calmed considerably as night set in. Now, at midnight, it was only drizzling as I ran towards the Lockwood Castle. The prophecy that I was supposed to deliver was safe inside one of my inner cloak pockets. As I ran, I thought of how important it was that I deliver this written copy of the prophecy to the parents of the three girls it was meant for. Without a written copy of it, the three little girls would not be able to save our world as the prophecy foretold, If the written copy was lost the fate of the World Of Magic would be lost with it.
I shivered slightly as I reached the castle. The guards opened the gates for me without a question. That meant that Adianna and Christopher Lockwood were expecting me. They must have taken in the urgency of my earlier call because they hardly ever remembered when I was supposed to come. Usually, one of the guards would have had to go and ask them if I was supposed to be here. It didn't bother me as it would have bothered some other Witches. The Lockwood's were a busy family; they had six children, three of which were under five years old. It was to be expected that they forget things most of the time.
Adianna Lockwood was the Witch Queen, the most important Witch of us all. Our world put the Queen before her husband. (We didn't call the Queen's husband a King either, we called him her Second In Command.) Queen Adianna had a lot on her hands at the moment with the three wars going on in the World Of Magic. Besides all of that she had her children, the house servants, and every other small problem that arose in our world. One would think that she'd be cranky with all of that going on but she wasn't. Actually she was always nice. Everyone loved her. I had been her nanny when she and her twin sister Cassie were younger and I knew the family very well.
I was surprised when Adianna answered the door. It was her three younger children's birthday, and she would usually have been in the living room with them. I was even more surprised when Christopher came up behind her. Then the three little girls walked up behind them both and I realized that they had been getting them ready for bed.
"Come inside Raven, you must be freezing."
Adianna's voice was warm. She led me to the sitting room of her castle. Sitting down, she looked at her husband.
"Michael, will you take the girls upstairs to bed. Mom and I will be up soon." Christopher told one of the older boys.
"Sure dad."
Michael took the girls and disappeared from the room. After he was gone I took the prophecy from my cloak and handed it to Adianna. She looked down at it for a few moments before turning her gaze back to me. Her gaze was questioning, and I knew I'd have to answer more than a few questions for her. I didn't mind doing that, she never asked stupid questions like most people that read my prophecies did.
"What does it say?" Christopher asked.
"It says, 'Two Royal daughters will be reunited with their triplet on their seventeenth birthday. On that night they will embark on a journey to save their Kingdom. Their journey will save the World Of Magic from destruction by its most feared enemies. One of them will sacrifice herself for the lives of her sisters.' Raven, what does this mean?"
"My lady, it means that your young daughters will someday save our world."
"What does it mean when it says that two of them will be reunited with their triplet?" Christopher asked
"The youngest daughter will be sent to live in the High Country with her brother tonight. On her seventeenth birthday, she and her brother will come back."
"And they'll go to save us...from what?"
"That, I cannot say. All I know about that is the enemy will be a new one."
Adianna's voice quivered when she asked her next question.
"What does the prophecy mean when it says that one of them will sacrifice herself?"
"One of the girls will give her life for those of her family and her world. I do not know which one, but it will happen."
"Oh. We have to send Adalyn away tonight?"
"It is the safest thing to do. In my vision I saw that if she does not leave, she will be killed along with your oldest son. If you send them away together everyone will live until the sacrifice."
"Thank you Raven. You have always helped us."
"You are welcome my lady."
She paused for a second, pondering something. When she finally spoke it was a question I never could have predicted she'd ask me.
"Was it really your home that was destroyed by those vandals last month?"
"Yes ma'am."
"Where are you living now?"
"In a hut near the river. It's the best I can do. My husband, as you know, was murdered three years ago and I can't rebuild the house by myself."
"Will you move in here with us?"
"I would happy to."
"Thank you so much. The girls will need someone to keep them company while their sister is away, and I know how much you've always loved children. You took care of my sister and I when we were children after mum died."
"Thank you my lady."
"Please call me Adianna. I will have Cassie fix your old rooms for you. It's going to be wonderful having you home. Cassie will be excited to have you home again, she's wanted me to bring you back for some time now."
"Thank you Adianna. You always were the kindest of people."
"You taught me to be kind. Come upstairs, I'll go get Cassie to help you with your rooms."
"I know now why you and your sister were always my favorite girls."
She laughed. "Why?"
"You were always nice. When your father got out of line, you'd put him back."
"You taught us to do that."
"Adianna?" Christopher asked, his voice soft.
"Yes love?"
"Do you want me to go bring Adalyn and Michael down?"
"Yes. I'll be down as soon as I make sure Cassie and Raven see one another."
"Okay love."
"Cass!" Adianna called out as we reached the third floor.
A tall girl with long red hair, striking green eyes, and curvy figure walked out of a room. Cassie was Adianna's identical twin and obviously nothing had changed there. They still looked identical in every way. Until Cassie spoke, then the differences between them were obvious. Cassie was the quieter twin. She could easily fade into the background if Adianna would let her. Adianna, though, would rather die than let her fade into the background. She was always making Cassie do things in public. In fact, if it weren't for Adianna, no one would have even the slightest clue that Cassie even existed.
"Yes Adi?"
But Adianna didn't have to answer; Cassie had already caught sight of me. She grinned, her green eyes lighting up the way they always did when something excited her. I braced myself as she hurried towards me. As soon as she reached me, she threw her arms around me and pressed me tightly to her chest. I hugged her back, laughing quietly at Adianna's eye roll.
"Raven! You're home!"
"Yes."
"Why didn't you tell me you were going to ask her to come live here?" She asked Adianna.
"I didn't know I was going to until she called tonight. She gave me a prophecy about the girls, one that's going to save our world someday, and I knew I couldn't let her go home to a hut."
"A hut?" Cassie asked me. "I thought you lived in the mansion my dad gave you when you left."
"Vandals destroyed it. I've been living in a hut by the river for several months now."
"You should have told us sooner. We wouldn't have let you live in a hut."
"I didn't want to bother Adianna, she already has so much on her hands."
"Nonsense Raven. You've been my mother since I was three years old. You would never be able to bother me. Cass, will you get her old rooms ready? I have to go get Adalyn and Michael ready to go."
"Sure."
Cassie and I watched Adianna walk downstairs before beginning the short walk to the seven rooms that were once again mine. I couldn't help but to remember the days when the girls were just babies as I entered the rooms. I couldn't believe I was going to live here again. But then again, I could believe it. Adianna had never wanted me to leave in the first place. It was good to be back here, but I couldn't help but to think of what would happen when her own girls turned seventeen...
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Shadow, I love your writing voice. Seriously. A bit mischievous, a bit whimsical, but easy to follow and storybook-like. Love it, love it, love it.
And I also love that the narrator in this is an older woman! I have read a lot of fantasy literature, but the witch and former nanny to the queen is a new one to me. Excellent job.
I'm also liking how you're handling the whole issue of prophecy. As you might know, prophecy stories are abundant, and while they're popular for a reason (the concept of destiny and fate is important to people, after all), they do sometimes get old. But the fact that the Queen and her Second accepted the fact that there was a prophecy concerning their daughters, and that one of them would die, and that they just took this as the way it was--that was refreshing. Usually, there's a whole bunch of (melo)drama about someone dying and what it all means and if there's anyway to get around the conditions of the prophecy. But not here. You/Raven lay out the terms of the prophecy and that's what it is, no drama about it.
I am a little bit iffy/curious about that, though. Are prophecies such the norm in these parts that the Queen and her husband really would just accept it so lightly? They might have been a bit too nonchalant about that--oh, we'll just send our daughter and son off. Oh, one of the three will die eventually, by the way, would you like to move in?
So what I think you could do is this: 1) work the finality of the prophecy into the dialogue or the prose or somewhere. By that I mean, make it so that we the readers feel the understanding that prophecies are what they are in this world, common and not to be messed with. 2) Give us some more of the parents' emotions on this. Perhaps they only focus in on the 'they'll save the world!' aspect, because that makes for proud parents for sure. Or perhaps they both focus on the 'seventeenth's birthday' part--that's years away.
Or perhaps prophecies really are just that in the world, and the importance and holy nature of them just aren't things to be crossed in any matter at all? In which case I'd like to see more urgency on the part of the parents. Solemn acceptance of all the terms, and then a rush to get things completed.
In the end, all of those are big 'perhaps' and you shouldn't act on any of them unless they make sense and you like them. The most important thing anyway is that you write onward and such. Maybe just stew on what I said? Something was very convenient about all the reactions, and I just want to make sure every character's getting his or her emotional time.
And..... that's it! Let me know if you have any questions! Just bug me on my Wall or something. And... later today I'll get to some of those other chapters.
Rach
Thanks. I opened with Raven because she was the first character that really opened up to me. (Besides the triplets.) Adianna, the Queen, hasn't shown her emotions too largely because she's not really the emotional type. She'll cry, maybe even do some screaming, but she won't do it where Raven can see. I'm adding more of her character into the rewrite process now.