My heart feels like it is constricting into the tiniest little thing. I wanted to burst into tears as I watched them turn away from me and continue on their way, oblivious to the fact that I felt as if I would die of hurt at any second.
'You will not cry, you will not cry, you will NOT cry!' I desperately thought to myself as I felt tears running down my cheeks. I brushed them away, annoyed at my own weakness.
My heart gave another painful squeeze as I got up and slowly walked away, asking myself, 'If you can't trust your own best friends, who can you trust?' and trying to ignore the more painful question buzzing around my head,'If you can't tell what sort of person someone is over the period of three years, what sort of person are YOU?'
I cry myself to sleep that night, just like I do every other night, and promise myself that this time will will be different. This time, I wont let them walk all over me, that i will make them come crawling back to me, begging for forgiveness before I take them back.
but when tomorrow comes, and they sling their arms over my shoulders, acting like nothing ever happened, I let them. Because I am willing to forgive them. Willing to forgive in hopes that this time, maybe they wont hurt me, that this time I will not be forgotten about, or get snubbed, or or get insulted, or be yelled at. This time I will belong, but only one more chance, right?