Young Writers Society

Hey! Forever here with a review!!

This was a very powerful piece that made me think about today's reality.

I just wonder if this story is in second person narrative. I have never read any second person narrative story, so I can't be too sure about it but your 'you's made me think so. This doesn't seem to be third person narrative at all nor does it seem to be first person. So, it, I guess is second person narrative. My first read of second person narrative then.

Now to the story's plot itself. I really liked how you started by asking a question to the readers how they laugh. Also, you managed to continuously remind the question to the readers throughout your story and you repeated it at the end. It created a good effect on the story.

So, first we see something like a gurdian call. I assume it's a gurdian call from all the details you gave there. I liked how you portrayed the father and the mothee of the student. I don't know that somehow made me smile despite the fact that it's nothing to smile about. However, that only seems to be a past phenomenon and has no importance in the present. Evolution, I wonder if that's a good change or bad change. Like on one hand, if all of these stops, that's a good sign but the present things you showed us seems to be worse.

Okay. Now to the present. I am a bit confused about how you represented the present. Like I got a haunted feeling from the social media things. People dying down, people getting arrested, murders.... A lot of scary things happening in this story. I had the scary feeling while reading it. If I am not wrong, the narrator tries to tell that the present is horrible and people are becoming kind of psychotic ones. Or otherwise, why would people suddenly kill school teachers and students?

The social media in the story is represented as a giant that can engulf all people and eat their brains. I had some frightening as well as a mysterious feeling in the story. Overall, this was a good story that made me think about reality.

Keep Writing!!

~Forever

The suspense was amazing. The diction flawless. Kudos.

Wow, that's some really effective writing. You built up the suspense perfectly here; to begin with I didn't really know what to expect. I liked the fact it was relevant to what's going on in society right now; the reality is this situation could happen to anyone. I love that the narrator isn't the boy himself because I think you've done a good job without having the character tell us exactly how he is feeling at the time. This is the type of short story I'd happily reread and recommend to others. There's a well described scenario that is realistic and the read could easily sympathize with the character in question.