Hey there! Nykolas here with a review.
I feel like you have some real potential as a writer or even a poet. It all depends on how you grow and in which direction. You've got some good vocabulary in here, but I must admit, I do agree with hbotz310 in saying that you should give the reader more to connect with. At the moment, it's just a little too generic. But you did great overall!
One slight problem, though.
"But for that one second, for that one look."
That isn't a complete sentence. Sorry, I am a Grammar Nazi at heart.
Like I said, you did great overall, and you definitely have major potential to keep on writing.
Happy writing and review day~
-Nykolas ^w^
Points: 604
Reviews: 20
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