Published December 14, 2007
Raven-
How are you? It’s been a while since I’ve seen you. Me, well… you don’t want to know. Sorry, not in a very good mood. I’d rather not go into it.
Okay, fine. YES- I talked to him again. I know what you’re thinking but… it really helped me see things clearer; why I can’t be with him, how skewed his views are, why I like you, and all that stuff.
Yeah, I shouldn’t be so mean. I’m sorry. Man I feel like crap…
I have no idea what to say now. It’s getting really late like…10:30 or something. I need to take a shower and go to bed soon. Sorry if that’s too much info.
Really sleepy right now… you know, I think that when people are sleepy, they reveal what they’re truly thinking. Like right now, I’m thinking of you. I’m not sure what to think of you, Angelbird. I want to get to know you. I get really excited when Aunt June says we‘re going to the Mayflower, because I know I’ll see you. I get so many feelings, and when I see you look at me, I get a rush, like when I called you ‘Angelbird’ just a moment ago.
Wow. I just read this over, and it doesn’t make any sense. I would rewrite it, but It’s getting rather late. My eyes are beginning to hurt. Before I go, I wanted to say… I really like you Raven. I want to get to know you more. What do you think? Anyway... talk to you later.
~Katie
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Canary word: Present
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Hey!
I love this piece! It seems so fresh and orignial. It seems realistic and i love it. I mean, that's like something we all say, and i can even imagine this person (katie) sitting there at night rubbing her eyes and typing this on a computer or writing it. nice nice nice!!
gd job!!
byee!
If I could use only one word to describe this, it would be... interesting. It IS different than anything you've ever wrote, but different is good-at least most of the time. I'd continue reading these if you kept writing them.
Talk to ya' later. (Oh, and the reason I'm not critiquing grammar, spelling, etc.. is because I saw no errors. Good job!)
Raven is a guy.
:D:D:D:D You'll see more later.
:D:D
Uh... I'll work on that
Hiya, Seraph!
This is cool; it's not like anything you've written before. So you're trying out the letter idea, huh? An interesting concept, but, unfortunately, it's been overdone. This particular piece had no grip at all. You don't hook your reader by saying, "I have nothing to say because I'm sleepy." Still, I see what you're getting at. I mean, ordinary people talk like that, right?
Still, I'm not sure this is your best work ever. Don't get me wrong--I like it--but it's sort of vague and empty. And is Raven a guy? I'm assuming so because of how it's written, but isn't Raven usually a girl's name?
Are you going to continue writing these? I would definitely read them.
Oh, and I would have to say that my favorite part was the word "Angelbird."
Best of luck!
FFF