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Young Writers Society



Jerrsea'ya: Wind of Death part II

by SeraphTree


^^^

Iistengel opened his eyes and looked around. It had to be dawn. He always woke at dawn. Then why am I so tired? He thought, rubbing his eyes irritably. He turned his gaze to Briind. Of course, he thought. Just like a rock. He smiled despite his annoyance. It had been very fun to break the ice with Briind. The lad stood and stretched. No use lying around when there were chores to do, he thought with a sigh.

He clothed himself quickly and grabbed his large pot, walking out of his tent to cram it with snow. He returned to see Briind still sleeping soundly. The boy shook his head. It was amazing how that fool could sleep. He turned to the fire pit and lit some coals, setting the pot down on top.

Briind awoke just as Iistengel finished making breakfast. The boy smiled at his friend and brought some stew over to him. Iistengel ate quickly, eager to leave as soon as possible. He hadn’t seen Beihhou around very much, and he was starting to get worried. As soon as they finished, Iistengel took both bowls and set them aside to be washed.

“Man, you are a good cook.”

The boy merely blinked at his words, his thoughts wandering up the mountain. The Beihhou hadn't eaten for days. Briind glanced at him uneasily and kept speaking.

“Yeah, sometimes, I think your kind of… strange…”

Iistengel just stared at his friend. He had to check his traps midmorning, and ask Eisen to help him set the ones on his wall. Briind smacked Iistengel’s shoulder, laughing.

“Go on Wrhaden. I won’t stop you.”

Iistengel smiled and jerked on his caribou parka. He flew out of the tent into the blaze of sunshine.

The boy sat atop the small peak, gazing down at the melting valley. The raven glided past him, landing a foot behind him. Iistengel turned to look at him, a small smile on his face.

“Good morning Beihhou. I’m sorry I didn’t come earlier. Breakfast you know.”

The raven cocked his now sleek head. Iistengel bit his lip, feeling the heat rise in his face. What a lame excuse! The raven was smart, and could fly a little, but he was still too young to provide for himself.

“I should have thought of you more. I’m sorry.”

The Beihhou let out a squawk, his eyes fixed in one direction. Iistengel followed his gaze out to the huge world before him, the untouched beauty filling him with wonder. The valley spread so that the soaring mountains looked like white tents on the horizon. The fine braided river weaved it’s way through the valley plummeted down a cliff in the distance. He only knew that because he had been there, on one wild adventure with Briind.

Iistengel shivered with delight as the high wind blew in his face. This was the place where he found refuge from all the troubles that he faced. The peace of the tranquil silence made him forget all his worries.

There was a small nibble on his arm. Iistengel smiled and turned to the half ebony bird. It was said that the Beihhou would bring misfortune and greed to whomever it encountered. Iistengel on the other hand, found that the Beihhou was a pretty clever bird. Considering how hard it worked to get food, and avoid getting massacred by the villagers. We are more similar than I thought. A small peck woke him from his musings. The boy turned and smiled at his friend.

“Yes, I am thinking about you.” The boy gazed at him for a second, then looked back out over the land. The worries he could forget so easily were needling the back of his mind.

“Sometimes- I don’t feel like I really belong here Beihhou. I know Briind will always be there for me, but I keep getting this sinking feeling, as if I am going to leave, or one of my friends is going to leave.”

The raven responded by picking the boys pockets. Iistengel laughed at that. Trust the Beihhou to put survival first.

Iistengel shook his head and gave him some rabbit meat from his other pocket. The bird began to gobble it down as fast as possible. The boy was glad to see this, since he had not eaten for nearly three days.

A black swarm on the tundra caught Iistengel’s eye, making him groan. The gathering of the spring Milin’yay. How he hated it at this time of year. Especially since they were just turned loose with the wild ones, just for the variety of the coats. “Well Beihhou,” the lad sighed, “It looks like duty calls.”

^^^


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Sat Nov 10, 2007 8:52 pm
SeraphTree says...



I made up the words. :D:D
I see why that looks odd... I'll change it. It had relevance before.... but now it doesn't.

Why I know so much about this aside from where I live, I've read a couple of books where the character was in a subsistance life style. Oh what are they... Hatchet, Call of the Wild(I think) and the various Native legends up here. Those are always interesting, and I've always admired the Aleuts athabascans, Inupiaq and the various other tribes for being able to live in this harsh environment. I thought it would be interesting to write about someone with that kind of life experience.

What inspired me specifically was my trip to Denali National Park. On our bus ride we came to a beautiful sweeping glacier valley, a braided river winding it's way from the mountain tops to some place in the distance. Everything was so lush and green... ah, I love it here. The sky was clear, and it was so sunny... lovely. :)

Hmmm... you are the second person to ask me if these are actual names. Why is that? Do you think they are native names? I did make them similar to some of the legends, such as Natsilane, but other than that, I made them up.

Sorry for the long explanations ><* Sometimes it's necessary.




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Sat Nov 10, 2007 2:14 pm
chayonz wrote a review...



OK next one.

This part if a bit confusing.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“Man, you are a good cook.”

The boy merely blinked at his words, his thoughts wandering up the mountain. The Beihhou hadn't eaten for days. Briind glanced at him uneasily and kept speaking.

“Yeah, sometimes, I think your kind of… strange…”

Iistengel just stared at his friend. He had to check his traps midmorning, and ask Eisen to help him set the ones on his wall. Briind smacked Iistengel’s shoulder, laughing.

“Go on Wrhaden. I won’t stop you.”
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I don't understand why he thinks he's kinda strange. And go where? Please make it clearer.

but other than that i really like it. You seem to know a lot about this sort of life. Did you actually make up those words in italics or are they actual words??

I like how you made him have a soft spot for animals. Its really sweet. Well thats all!




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Wed Oct 24, 2007 6:11 am
SeraphTree says...



???? I don't understand how that sentence is confusing, but I will see what I can do.
XDXDXDXDXXDXDXDXD........XO
If you lived up here, and that was the ONLY water you had, after 9 MONTHS of nothing but SNOW........... XDXDXDXDDXDXDXDXD......XO

Oh, just to let everyone know..... the beginning is supposed to occur during spring. Up here, Spring is 'break up' in case you didn't know. ^-^V So yes, in March, April and May, THERE IS STILL SNOW..... and usually about a foot or two.:D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Considering that Iistengel lives in a glacier valley, he would get even MORE snow than I would. :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D :D
Anyway, I'm just letting everyone know. ^-^V :D :D :D :D :D ;D




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Wed Oct 24, 2007 2:17 am
BigBadBear wrote a review...



Hm.. Interesting. I really liked this. Again, you put your mind to work and create this.. I like it the same as I did Chapter One.

I always seem to get your charactors mixed up, Last chapter, someone said someone was going to marry the other boys girlfreind? What? Anway, that is not about this chapter so let's get on to some critiquing!


He clothed himself quickly and grabbed his large pot, walking out of his tent to cram it with snow.

What? Walking out of his tent to cram it with snow made no sense. oh! Were you referring to the pot, and to cram snow into that? if you were, a sentence redo is in order.

Yes, that was the only thing that bothered me. You have great potential. I like how you describe the setting, and yet, I am having diffucutly trying to picture it. My mind wants to think of a warm, grassy land, but you say there is snow.

And what boys would want to jump into a freezing cold river to bathe? Just asking.


Well, I hope you could find this usufull!


BBB





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