Published July 15, 2011
It is in fact a very short. Inspired by Rick Springfield 'I get excited'
The lock clicks into place; Determination fills your gaze. I get excited. I can tell you've never done this before. Your skin is flawless. Your soul so bright, so pure. Yet there's no hesitation in your stride as you draw near.
I get excited even though I don't know why you need me, why you need my comfort, you never have before. Maybe it has to do with the others I've seen come through the door. Maybe their broken souls have gotten to you. Truth is I really don't care. I'm just glad that you chose me. I can't see your face anymore but the eyes in the mirror still burn with dangerous intent.
I know it's coming, as do you, yet you don't look nervous when you bite your lip. You even keep them open when we kiss. I listen as a hiss escapes between your still parted lips. I'm so excited knowing it won't end with just one, I know there will be more to follow. I can feel your heartbeat racing as you bring me in close for more kisses. Your body begins to relax as all the crimson tension flows forth.
Your deed done, we slump to the tiled floor. I can still feel our kisses, feel the way you encouraged me deeper. Such a pure soul forever mine. I know now my hunger has been satisfied for when your gaze finds mine I can see there's heaven in your eyes tonight.
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138,299 Literary Works • 672,099 Reviews
Well done, I quite enjoyed reading it. Nevertheless, the lack of detail won't be tolerated by many readers, not all have the ability to fill in their own details. I'd add a bit more sensual details to it: A description of taste and smell, colours and sounds... etc
All in all, I loved it, very nice indeed.
Keep it up
At first I thought this needed more backgroung and history. Then i read it again. I really think it works this way, and I enjoyed that it wasn't basically porn but had something that made everythig inside me clench with anticipation. I especially loved the last part, "I can see there's heaven in your eyes tonight." That line really struck something inside me.
Overall I really enjoyed this!
Always, Writer.
Record set for shortest sex scene: One sentence.
This day shall live in history.