Hi Sec1218, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day and happy review day.
Theme: This poem is more of a story than a theme. I really like stories that are written in poetry form. This was heart breaking story for me.
Description: The description in this poem wasn't the best that I've seen, but I think that this poem was more about the story than the visuals. If you wanted to make the description more sophisticated you could try changing some of the words such as this sentence.
you could make the colours more specific like thisPlaying with her pink and white volleyball
though this might mess up the flow. Anyway, it was just a suggestion if you wanted to make the description more interesting.Playing with her raspberry and snow white volleyball
Grammar and Punctuation: There are a few grammar mistakes.
neighbor is spelt neighbour.Or a frightened neighbor going for a walk
center is spelled centre.My small child was in the center of the road
As for punctuation I definitely think your poem needs it. Since I'm not the best person to ask about punctuation, here is a pretty good article for poetry punctuation https://www.youngwriterssociety.com/viewtopic.php?f=11&t=12474.%20I
Rhythm: Your poem had a nice rhythm, but I think it would be better with some punctuation.
Overall it was a great poem and I look forward to the next one. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night.
Your friend, Felistia.
Points: 7146
Reviews: 524
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