Young Writers Society

Good Morning/Afternoon/Evening/Night(whichever one it is in your part of the world),

Hi! I'm here to leave a quick review!!

Anyway let's get right to it,

There is no-known way known to me on how I should evaluate what I am about to pen; my only will and aim is to publicly present a repetition of an unanswerable occurring, which I am bound to experience each night.

From start, I was noted for being extremely and meaninglessly bipolar; my transferring emotion sometimes became aggressive and that is why for which I had to pay at my young years. This particular, ‘flow of emotion’ character had developed in each stages of my growth and presently in my manhood. And as fate had decided; on that one particular night, my aggressive character took control over my soul, and for some unknown reason: I was towards the front seat of my car, and before I had realized my current motion; I had got in my car and thus was driving towards a construction-site near central road, in the streets of Dhaka city. The night clouds had rolled onto the full moon as matter of time kept passing; I could hear the breeze of the approaching storm, as well as the sound of my aggression rising. Angrily, I had pressured the accelerator, and surely I was burning the engine oil. (As earlier mentioned) fate had presented itself, as in a flash I had encountered (and ran over!) a shadow figure in-front of me. Rusty-ly, the car brake was pushed, and I finally felt my neurons gathering some presense of mind. It was ‘She’ lying there dead pale, pale enough to indicate that her soul was here no-more! I was trying hard, but barely I could’ve stayed still; I was blaming my ‘Aggressive Character’ (which possessed me) for crushing the spine of poor her and bursting and squeezing the blood out of her beautiful wedding dress. My mind became deaf, until my ‘flow of emotion’ took an opposite toll, and (losing my presense of mind again) I had gone home; leaving her.

The following day had passed in blur; and (much to my surprise) there was no news about her in the daily newspaper and in the T.V. The whole day my mind was trying to forcibly convince myself that everything that had happened was simply dreamt, and I finally had felt convinced; until every mid-night from then; that thing would posses me, and I would go to that particular place, and run over her again (and again!); only to find myself coming back home.

True! It is high time one should fancy me mad (by now), but I am more than sure of what I do each night. This thing inside me is evil, and it is punishing me for the world’s sins! She is my personal hell, and only by killing her, I sense a moment of satisfaction! Ofcourse there is nothing I can do about, EXCEPT WAIT FOR IT’S ARRIVAL TONIGHT.

'Ello! Care for a review this lovely morning/afternoon/evening?

You have a very distinct way of writing, which I found very intriguing! Your story idea is pretty interesting and mysterious also. I liked your ending; I thought that was rather humorous!- and terrifying at the same time.

I did find this story a tad confusing though. The wording and word choice, at times, makes the work difficult to understand. Also I feel like we got a lot of information but didn't get a lot of explanation. You mentioned that the MC/narrator is bipolar, but I feel like there's a lot more at play in this story than that- like something a little more fantastical.

One of my favourite... things I've heard over the years, is something someone said sort of against writing "poetically". Now don't get me wrong; poetry is awesome and writing poetic prose can be super-duper awesome, but you first have to consider a few things. Writing, primarily, is to communicate- that's the whole purpose of writing- communicating an idea to someone else. If the people can't understand what you're communicating, it's not a good thing- even if it looks fancy.

There is no-known way known to me on how I should evaluate what I am about to pen

Hey, Aleta here for a review.

The thing I noticed first was the title. Why did you put so many hyphens throughout it? Also you spelled experience wrong.
"An Experience to Remember for the Rainy Nights" would be the correct format.

"There is no-known way"
Hyphen is not needed.

"The night clouds had rolled onto the full moon as matter of time kept passing;"
You do not need a semicolon here. Just split up the two sentences.

"aggression rising. Angrily,"
We know that he is angry. Use 'with ire I' or "Infuriated,"

"Rusty-ly, "
This is very awkward. You can't just put a hyphen and then add ly onto it. I would just say eliminate it alltogether.

This sentence is confusing altogether. What do you mean by saying that the car brake is pushing? It's quite odd to describe the mind as neurons. Perhaps you could say something about him breathing deeply, trying to compose himself after that terrible bout of anger?
"The car brake was pushed, and I finally felt my neurons gathering some presence of mind."

" was trying hard, but barely I could’ve stayed still; I was blaming my ‘Aggressive Character’ (which possessed me) for crushing the spine of poor her and bursting and squeezing the blood out of her beautiful wedding dress.

You don't need the semicolon. Here is a quick fix.
"I was trying hard, but I could not stay still, for I was blaming my aggressive character that clutched my soul in its very hands. I had crushed the spine of this poor woman. Blood blossomed at her bosom and seeped down her white wedding gown."

"The following day had passed in blur; a"
Fix: The following day had passed in a drunken blur. Much to my surprise, there was no news about her in the daily (Enter town newspaper name here), nor the local news station.

"The whole day my mind was trying to forcibly convince myself that everything that had happened was simply dreamt, and I finally had felt convinced; until every mid-night from then; that thing would posses me, and I would go to that particular place, and run over her again (and again!); only to find myself coming back home."

You keep putting semicolons where they do not need to be there.
Fix: My mind was trying to convince myself that everything that had occurred was only a lucid dream, and I finally, without a shadow of a doubt, had convinced myself. Until every midnight from then, that thing of terrible animalistic anger would possess me and then I would go to that particular place. I would run her over, again, and again, and again.


Alright, what I noticed most in your work was the hyphens and the semicolons. The semicolons really served no purpose in here whatsoever.

Good
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I really like the potential of this work of art. I've read Edgar Allen Poe's Tell Tale Heart and it has the same effect of the narrator being mad in the head and think he is doing just to the world by allowing this demon to punish him.