I hope you know that this isn’t what I wanted. I still love you, even though my hair has left me and my skin is cracked and pale. The hardest part of my death is leaving you. You think that you have it bad, losing your lover to her long battle. You don’t know the half of it. You don’t know what it’s like to have been fighting for your life for so long, just to have your body give up on you.
I hope you know I’m not counting days. I’m counting moments with you. I know that our love doesn’t make this any easier on you, and I’m sorry.
I hope you realize that you still have a chance. You’re handsome, my love. Find another girl. Don’t die alone just because of me. Find love again. You know I haven’t been able to love you.
I hope you remember me. Time will bring you home. You’ll join me in heaven one day. Just believe, my sweet.
I’ll miss you.
I’ll see you again someday.
Just believe.
Goodbye, my love.
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125,012 Literary Works • 672,842 Reviews
This is Atsmai here for a review!
I don't really know if this what it would actually be like. I just don't think someone would write something this heartwarming or anything.
This feels selfish to rub it in that she had it worse and that she's dying. She seems /angry/ which is what I'm pretty sure you're not trying to convey.
Otherwise, overall, I just didn't feel the tone. Like she doesn't even seem upset. You could've made her frantic and crying her eyes out or angry. I don't think someone would be calm in the situation.
Have a great day!
Hello scream, welcome to the site. I am your dumb neighbour and I am thinking to leave you a quick review!
So, this is a letter from a dying young lady to her man, right? Well, that sort of situation is emotional and so is your piece. Good work with the title and thanks for successfully being able to put your emotions throughout the note/letter/story. Now, I wish you had followed the structure of writing a letter, with a starting (With simply "My love" or something similar at the beginning) then I think it'd just add more emotion or make it look more real.
It is from a dying person, then don't you think it should cover more details? More about the time when both of them were well and enjoyed, adding all those memories could make it more attractive. Like, get this, a dying person would always want to cover all the things up and try bring nostalgic and find that little happiness from those. If you know what I mean. ^^
No other particular suggestion for you, mate! Great work overall. Have a pleasant evening~
Nire.