Half angel, Half devil. My heart is yours.
Somehow I doubt you will close the cage door.
The path of love never keeps the same course.
And yet again, the Saint's heart becomes sore.
Your entire being screams "Set me free!"
The full moon lights the road of your heart ache.
Your happiness lies where you do not see.
Tears of blood from an angel, my heart aches.
A stringless guitar and a broken cup.
Making you cry is unforgivable.
If I were better I would lift you up.
But your mood is brought down by small quibbles.
My angel, My devil, can I love you
With knowledge that maybe you love me too?
I apologise for the terrible writing, this is the first sonnet upon my return.
There are more to come, and all are better than this, so please hang on until the good ones come.
Points:
Time spent:
Canary word: Present
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125,018 Literary Works • 672,861 Reviews
Thank you for the kind words.
I didn't realise until I wrote it that I used ache twice... ^.^"
The Saint, is a joke between friends.
There are more to follow, but that is my least favourite.
Overall I liked it, it wasn't spectacular, but it had a nice flow and sophisticated diction. I will say that I didn't understand this line "And yet again, the Saint's heart becomes sore." It's a pretty line, and I like the idea of alluding to saints especially when you talk about Angels in the first line. The rhyming on the sixth and eighth lines was not ideal because you used the same word twice. If you wanted you also could expand on your relationship with her, what you both did wrong, why you are hurting. Good work, keep posting! And one last thing Panda is right, if you don't believe in your ability, you can be sure that no one else will.
A woman. As someone who once dated the ladies, I have to say, this describes them all too well. How their moods change, and leave you on the edge. How your own mood changes along with it. Insecurities building. Please excuse me if I'm not fully understanding; I'm not one for poetry, but you obviously have me intrigued! However, I would like to point out that, even though you probably didn't mean to, there's a few slant rhymes. That confused me, but still, I was able to follow along. Great job!
~Panda;;
PS: Don't call your works bad, ever. Or EVERYONE ELSE will.