Young Writers Society

Flower~Child wrote:

Schemilix wrote:I'm going to just point out that flow is not a necessity of poetry and thus ignore that statement since it;s clearly a difference of taste. Not all of my poems have a set rythm, it's restricting.

I understand that the humour can be lost on someone (you're the first but you won't be the last, I'm not a satirist by nature and don't pretend to be fantastic at it) but there's no need to be rude about it, particularly because open poetry may or may not have flow.

You act like me writing a poem that isn't funny is some kind of personal offence to you - it's a bit rude.

As I mentioned, I respect that you don't like the poem, however, my issue is with your rather tactles smanner in delivering such dislike when I did little deserve it. Now I have been spoken to and I understand that this wasn't your intention and therefore, I apologise if I seemed perhaps rude in response, however it may be a trigger to be a little more careful with your words in case this happens.

Regards, and thanks for reading it anyway,
Schemilix.

I am not trying to be rude or anything like that, it is oppinion, but this just isnt greatly funny like it is supposed to be. Also no not every poem has flow, but some I think just need it a little better than others.

Schemilix wrote:I'm going to just point out that flow is not a necessity of poetry and thus ignore that statement since it;s clearly a difference of taste. Not all of my poems have a set rythm, it's restricting.

I understand that the humour can be lost on someone (you're the first but you won't be the last, I'm not a satirist by nature and don't pretend to be fantastic at it) but there's no need to be rude about it, particularly because open poetry may or may not have flow.

You act like me writing a poem that isn't funny is some kind of personal offence to you - it's a bit rude.

As I mentioned, I respect that you don't like the poem, however, my issue is with your rather tactles smanner in delivering such dislike when I did little deserve it. Now I have been spoken to and I understand that this wasn't your intention and therefore, I apologise if I seemed perhaps rude in response, however it may be a trigger to be a little more careful with your words in case this happens.

Regards, and thanks for reading it anyway,
Schemilix.

As a poem, it's not a bad poem; there are some surprisingly nice turns of phrase, and hints of deeper meanings, la dee da, perhaps not intentional but then reading is a democracy. As pure humor, I think it may fall short because you give us too little reason to see the idea of a pub at the end of the rainbow as ludicrous. It's a funny idea, and you drop that and ladle on descriptions that are pretty and a little wistful rather than funny, as if the mere incongruity of the initial concept should be able to carry the reader through in a state of amusement, which it isn't. That said, lack of humor isn't necessarily a bad thing, because this, unlike most less than droll satires, looks like it could stand without it; might not fully right now, but there's definitely the potential to if you explore other directions -- the bitterness and the sheer disappointment of all that mundanity. Alternatively, you could pull it back to being a funny by... uh. Actually, I have no idea. *uselessface* Sorry, I'm better at humor in prose; in poetry the rhythms that aid such attempts are hard for me to work out.

Good luck! And apologies again for a not very helpful review. Aha. Ahahaha.

I'm going to just point out that flow is not a necessity of poetry and thus ignore that statement since it;s clearly a difference of taste. Not all of my poems have a set rythm, it's restricting.

I understand that the humour can be lost on someone (you're the first but you won't be the last, I'm not a satirist by nature and don't pretend to be fantastic at it) but there's no need to be rude about it, particularly because open poetry may or may not have flow.

You act like me writing a poem that isn't funny is some kind of personal offence to you - it's a bit rude.

As I mentioned, I respect that you don't like the poem, however, my issue is with your rather tactles smanner in delivering such dislike when I did little deserve it. Now I have been spoken to and I understand that this wasn't your intention and therefore, I apologise if I seemed perhaps rude in response, however it may be a trigger to be a little more careful with your words in case this happens.

Regards, and thanks for reading it anyway,
Schemilix.

This is supposed to be funny?? Anyway I don't think this flows very well at all.

I think if you gave it flow, and something a little more funny it would be ok.

Keep Writing

-Flower-