River

This is really good! It has great flow...each line works out perfectly. I like the shortness of it and how it's right to the point. And the shortness of the lines themselves is great as well. I enjoyed reading this!!! Keep up the good work and keep writing!

This is very soft and short and sweet. It's calming and almost visual but ...not if that makes sense. The only criticism I have is the forth line "To travel with them." 'Them' is plural, which doesn't fit with the rest of the poem. You are talking about one river, one stream, which will lead to one more body of water. Your poem sends the feeling of unison, so 'them' doesn't fit as well as giving the river a persona 'he' 'she' or 'it' would work.

running water, flowing stream took the bad and create the good.. nice..

Okay thank you =]

HEY!

The first thing would be there is no punctuation, so personally, I would go through and add some.

The other thing would be to add more stanza's as it is rather short. Or have a go at changing what you've got as two lines are repeated and it can become repetative and doesn't really add anything to the piece.

The point would be, there is nothing that makes this piece stand out so I'd try and make it unique. Writing about a river is a very good, quite unique starting point but it needs to be taken one step further.

PM me for anything!

Keep it up!

~Retro Disco666