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​a raging sea

by ScarlettFire

your eyes are like a raging sea
disdaining all glitter and gold;
you feel the immortality, darling.
it's you and i until eternity

i've seen you once,
i've seen you a million times;
we've loved each other in
all our previous lives

your eyes are like a raging sea
disdaining all glitter and gold;
you fooled me once, i fooled you twice
but we've loved each other for eternity

i've seen you once,
i've seen you a million times;
we've hated each other in
all our previous lives

you'll kill me but i'lll kill you;
you can't escape, darling
i've seen through all your lies

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9 Reviews

Points: 395
Reviews: 9

Mon Feb 07, 2022 12:15 pm
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nashville_skyline wrote a review...

This is a very interesting and beautiful piece. Makes me wonder about a type of relationship you're desribing. Amorous, obviously :-), but also a bit destructive - mentioning a "raging sea", also the last paragraph:

"you'll kill me but i'lll kill you;
you can't escape, darling
i've seen through all your lies"

It looks like the author is involved in a hurtful relationship but still deeply in love with the other person.
I also liked very much the part

"you fooled me once, i fooled you twice"

It possibly means that the author did some damage to the relationship himself/herself?

Very well written, looking forward to read more of your work. :-)

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77 Reviews

Points: 93
Reviews: 77

Tue Feb 01, 2022 1:20 pm
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Buranko wrote a review...

This poem reminds me an awful lot of a mermaid-ish song I keep listening over and over again. Jolly sailor bold. I love your work (^o^)

It really is built like a song. I can see a chorus (which btw, is really catchy) and I will start with it.
"i've seen you once". The element that stands out is "once" and it implies that the lyrical voice was absolutely stunned by the initial meeting. It evolves into "a million times" accentuating the idea of love and passion. Then a disturbing element is presented, opposite of love, which once made itself shown "we've loved" and that is hate "we've hated".

The poem is simetrically composed around this antithesis of Love/Hate. The first part develops between the inexistent boundaries of immortality and eternity. Love is the main force behind all, acting as an obvious alternative to glitter and gold (metaphor of the mundane world). The loved one is called "darling", a melodious name for someone's love.

The second part begins in the same way. The same description of "raging sea eyes", this time a lot stronger, foreshadowing what is coming. Fooled by darling the lyrical voice is about to drop everything, not care about anything in the world. If in the first part glitter and gold were unimportant because of love, now they can't present any importance at all because of hate. A hate so strong it leads to the absolute conviction of a need to kill. Lies hurt, the darling can't escape...

Gorgeous, I would love to keep up with your future works

ScarlettFire says...

Aww, thank you! And yeah, it's slightly inspired by that song. I took inspiration from a line or two and ran with it! XD

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51 Reviews

Points: 2146
Reviews: 51

Tue Feb 01, 2022 12:51 am
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PoetryMisfit wrote a review...

Hello Scarlettfire, I thought I'd leave a quick review.

This poem is beautiful and bittersweet. The narrator has a bitter tone towards her beloved or rather the receiver of her revenge. Her words are poetic yet disdaining, the portrayal of her beloved cast in a negative light. It seems they are locked in an ensuing fight throughout eternity, and yet there is also a connection between them depicted in the line: "but we've loved each other for eternity".
This poem reads like a legend, perhaps of a romance between gods over the span of many lifetimes. As I read your poem, I was listening to a soundtrack titled "Heartbroken God", which seemed to fit the tone of your poem perfectly. Your stanzas are wrought with wonderful uses of imagery and emotion to tie it all together. Great job!

Thanks for sharing!
Poetry Misfit

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453 Reviews

Points: 146
Reviews: 453

Mon Jan 31, 2022 3:39 pm
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vampricone6783 wrote a review...

I loved the descriptions you put in the poem.It really does create beautiful imagery.I love how you described how the narrator was fooled by this person and how they plan to get back at the person who had played with their heart.Revenge is a fun idea for poems and stories.It never gets old.I hope you have a lovely and amazing day and night.

The sun can square up and fight me. Apollo is just another bi disaster, and I could take him.
— AlmostImmortal