Warning: This work has been rated 16+.
I used to be really good at this, writing that is. Well I don't know if I was really any good, I just always told my professors the truth. Whether my truth was in MLA format, and properly cited or not was their problem. But, I do have to thank them for giving me good grades. I always liked the comments they made good or bad. The bad ones especially. I am the best writer my age what could I possibly be doing wrong? Ohhhh I forgot to cite where I got that information from (which I paraphrased) who gives a ffffffff. It was good fun though I thank them for it, I always liked to talk with them about it get real deep into conversation. I think that's my favorite part about school. Is when the student falls in love with what they are learning it ends up on their mind at home and they cant wait to go to school and talk about. Not just the books they made us read, or the math homework but when you wanted to get better at writing or wanted to figure out a new formula. This one time I took this one statistics dual credit class. Amazing teacher I must say but one day I needed help on a LAB and I went in to see a few more students in my same situation. Mind you, this was the day before the paper was due. I sat down next to some classmates. “You here for the lab too?” I asked.
“Yea I have no idea how to do it. I mean I get some of it but i need an explanation”
I always liked Justine, she always seemed very smart to me. Always smiled at each other in the hallways. Hell I even started talking to her in the library just about life and stuff. She was really nice but apparently my girlfriend said she said some stuff about her friends. But you never know these days she probably just made an edgy joke her friends couldn't handle. I could never wrap my head around it. I hate to say it but girls and guys are very different. With guys, you never know what's gonna come out of one dudes mouth. Could be the most fucked up shit you've ever heard in your life and you’d just chuckle say a lil “na man you're crazy” and move on with your life. I guess girls aren't like that. Or maybe just my girl and her friends. Some girls can be real edgy if you get to know them. But from what I saw Justine was cool.
“I can help you out with some of it I've got the first few parts of the problem done” I say
So we collaborate and get some of this LAB done. Collaboration is amazing when its natural. Some of these college classes make you get into groups with random people you don't know. Sometimes you get lucky and you're with kids that like to get things done, but other times you're with a bunch of losers that could give a fuck about the class. Thats what makes natural collaboration so special you kinda feel like you just won the lottery. Yes I'm finally with kids who have the same drive as me. They want to learn too. However, even in natural collaboration you can find roadblocks.
“Professor can you come help us understand this part of the question real quick?
Professor was a real smart guy. He had a doctorates in the math related field, and In the beginning I thought he went pretty fast, but then I came around to admire his teaching style. Learn a new theory or formula, let us try it, he’ll solve it for us, and then we’d check our work. Sounds real simple but I don't know why it worked perfectly for me. While we worked on a problem our self he’d also help anyone and everyone that needed 1 on 1 explanations to things. Things you would kinda feel dumb for saying out loud, but the fact that everyone was working on their own problem same as you, made you feel like you weren't taking away from anyone else’s learning experience.
“Yea what's up?”
“Hey professor we needed help explaining how this works”
Now I don't remember the exact LAB and what it was about butI think it was this hypothesis test stats thing. He helped us with one step and that got the collaboration train moving again. We had triumphed over 1roadblock and we felt unstoppable. We continue to read and talk with each other. Id propose a solution to the problem and she would. We tried it and it would usually work and make sense. However if we didn't know something we would try and ask the other kids for help over the next 30 minutes of “free class time” we as a small group would collaborate with each other all with the goal of getting this LAB done. Professor would help us too and join our discussion. It felt amazing this natural collaboration.
“Finally we done. Let me turn in the paper for you” I said to Justine.
The bell ringed for the next class. We had finished within the class and turned in the paper early! Using time wisely. Its your choice. Use your free will wisely and you can see amazing things.
“Hey guys”
“Today was fun, like, this has been probably my favorite moment teaching with y’all.”
Wow I couldn't believe my teacher just said that.
I'm not gonna lie, probably my favorite time in math ever
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125,022 Literary Works • 672,752 Reviews
Hello! Ley here to review this amazing work for you. Today, I will be using my 'Summer Themed Review Template'! I will start with opening statements, highlight and summarize my favorite parts, note areas that could be improved, and then give you my closing statement! I hope you find this review helpful, and I hope you're having a wonderful Summer, if that's the season wherever you are in the world! Let's get into it!
A Warm Welcome
Cool story about a day at school. I saw this was a fiction piece, but to me this reads a little more like non-fiction. Either way, I'm here! Let's get into the specifics!
Sunny Moments
I liked the internal thoughts that you provided in this piece. It gave us some background on the main character, and also gave us some insight into how this character thinks. So far, I'm getting that this character is very egotistical and doesn't like being told no. I liked getting to know the personality, as it gave justification to some of the other things that happened within this passage. Good job immersing the reader in your character and story!
Heat and Haze
There were a lot of grammatical errors in this piece, but I won't go and name every single one. There were switches in tenses, the language was a bit too casual for me for a fiction piece, and I found myself a bit lost at some points. It sounded like a diary entry, which would make sense, but otherwise I'd try more formal writing techniques. Words like "I'm not gonna lie" and "Who gives an fffff" can come off a bit hostile to the reader. Just a thought or two.
Overall Vibes
Overall, this was a realistic depiction of how a student might think while in class/school, or how a student would recap their day to one of their friends. I look forward to reading more pieces by you in the future. Have a nice day!
You have a very natural and flexible way of making your narration and dialogue sound real. The conversations among the various characters are genuine, thus giving the story a sense of continuity. There has also been good development in terms of character; I like the fact that you reveal who the protagonist is through his or her thoughts. However, some areas lack clarity while others are not well arranged. Some parts of it are hard to understand. Also, grammar and punctuation were overlooked by the writer. Nevertheless, this is an interesting tale and I hope you keep up with writing!