z

Young Writers Society


E - Everyone

Guardians of Ga'Hoole: The Watch (A fanfiction)

by SavannahSamford


The dusk sky was gold, riveted with swaths of color, accented with thin, but fluffy clouds. While the sun set, Dodger decided to be up early, preening his feathers and blinking against the light. It really was beautiful, if he had anything to say about it. These colors never seemed to present themselves at night-time, when they were out and about, fighting and practicing, moving about from chaw to chaw.

A nervousness settled in his gizzard as he neatly folded his spotted wings in and let out a soft hoot of uncertainty. Chaws. Here at the Great Tree, each owl had their own particular calling, something different in terms of skill. Over the course of their younger lives, they moved from chaw to chaw and tried, well, everything. Tracking, search and rescue, navigation, weather and colliering, battle, healing... It was all here.

Once their general training was over however, each owlet was "tapped", or chosen among the teachers, or rybs, for whatever skill the ryb felt they were best suited for. Gratefully, he quelled his gizzard's churning with the knowledge that he most definitely was not going to be tapped for Ga'Hoology chaw. Honestly, Dodger couldn't quite get the hang of anything in that boring old class, where all they did was talk about the past and how to bury pellets. Besides, a young Ptilopsis Leucotis named Slint has had her eye on that since, well, ever.

Feathers stirred the air above Dodger, and looking up, he saw a small Screech owl named Ingens alighting on the branch just above his own head, "Had an early first black?"

Dodger himself was an Asio Flammeus, or a Short Eared Owl;he had a dark mask across his eyes that made his stark yellow eyes really stand out, like rings of gold against rich mahogany wood.

"Been up for barely an hour," he admitted, tilting his head slightly as he reflected the question, "You're up fairly early too, couldn't sleep?"

"Oh, you know how it is the day before tapping begins. Besides, I want to fly up to Bellum's chaw practice point and bring a milkberry tart or two, maybe she'll favor me," the smaller screech shrugged his shoulders a bit, "I really want to be first pick for battle chaw."

This much, Dodger knew. It seemed to be all his friend could talk about these past few moons.

The sun had finally dipped halfway below the horizon before the nest-maid snakes started winding their way through the branches to help Cook with preparing the meal, and further serving it to all of the owls at the Great Tree.

"I better go, if I want to catch those tarts warm," Ingens gave a smile and in a few strong wing strokes, was gliding down between the branches of the tree, leaving the sleeping hollows. Deciding to shake off his own nerves by going for a short flight, Dodger opened his wings and softly wheeled around the trunk of the tree where the downy sleeping hollows were, and strayed between the branches, letting his mind and gizzard idle.

The air did, in fact, clear his mind. Watching everyone else stir, he glanced out at the glittering sea. By now, the moon was rising, cascading silver dancing slivers across the surface. Wind shifted and shaped itself under his wings, filling his feathers almost soothingly as he drifted down to meet the other owlets and chaws settling in for break light. Warm porridge was being served, steaming against the cool night sky.

"Hey Dodger, heard anything from any of the rybs? I think Arboryb might be wanting me in his chaw, he made a passing comment, but... I don't know, I don't think I'm very cut out for Navigation," a same-sized Brown Fish owl named Caedes landed messily on the large root that Dodger had just set claw on.

"Not really," he gave a light chuckle, glad that the simple conversation was there to distract him from his own thoughts, "But I can tell you one thing you won't be in, that's battle chaw!"

"Oh, shove off, I dove too fast before landing, alright?" Caedes shoved him with the shoulder of her wing, head twisting to pluck a stray feather from her back before righting again, "Besides, today's a great night to get out and enjoy this Hoolian air!"

The banter was cut short, though, as they were each assigned their chaws for the night and nervous chatter and clicks could be heard. Today, he was stuck with Bellumryb and the battle chaw, her second in command being Cimex, a sturdy screech with years of battle under his talons. The work was hard, and at times it could be fun, but Dodger didn't understand exactly why anyone would want to be a part of a chaw that stretched them to the limit, physically, each and every day, and left his wings and talons sore.

"Dive!" Bellum shouted, quickly snapping him from his thoughts. It was too late, though, and a staff of plain wood struck his wing hard, leaving pain to blossom outwards.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to hit that hard, I thought you would have moved!" Ingens gave a sheepish hoot, looking over his wing to see if Bellum had seen the perfect strike. She had, and gave a nod, "Alright you two, circle up and disarm, it's Red and Dusk's turns."

Alighting on the thick, winding bark, he stretched his wing a few times with a soft sigh of pained relief at giving it a rest. She was having them practice basics harder than ever now, and he wasn't sure he could keep up this diving, swooping, striking, clawing... He just couldn't focus like he needed to. It wasn't too long before his attention slipped and he found himself down and out. It wasn't new, so he didn't understand why she kept pushing him so hard when, in fact, nothing could be pushed. Tossing the light, fake battle claws aside, he turned and met Ingens as he landed beside him.

"I really thought you would have moved, is your wing okay?" The smaller owl asked, dropping the stick he had held aloft.

"I'm fine, at worst, it might bruise up and become sore. Nothing I'm not used to." Especially with Bellum teaching this chaw.

Before Ingens could hardly open his beak, from somewhere far off, a loud, shrill screech rang through the trees.

"Downed owlets!"

Now, this had particularly ruffled his feathers. Even when they had brought him in as a young owlet, there certainly wasn't all of this commotion, and not so urgent a note in his voice. Given that Dodger was for the most part well, that could only mean that these small things would have to be seriously injured if not near death. Without another word, he dove past the edge and unfurled his wings, beating them in sweeping arcs to gain wind towards the landing platform, not pausing for Ingens to catch up.

Not like he had to, the smaller owl shot by and they eventually landed on the edge of the expanse of root, sweeping vines aside. The search and rescue team had landed just before them. Now, he could see why there was sch an urgent edge to the chaw member's voice.

Blood. Not the kind of accidental scrape or cut from cleaning battle claws wrong, but the kind that was intended to spill. To kill.

Great Glaux! The claws on that thing, they would have to be massive...

Dodger was not, in fact, ready for the sickening sight that would reveal itself when a Healer lifted one of the owlets from the tightly woven grass basket, stained red.

One of its wings is gone!

Immediately, this set his gizzard churning against his will, and he had to swallow to keep his breakfast down. The blood had stemmed from the stump that was previously the owlet's right wing, slicking the downy grey feathers. Its face seemed to have survived another attack, only a thin scratch combing across the bridge above its beak.

"Oh, Glaux, what have they done..." Ingens hooted softly. The rest of the search and rescue chaw had arrived from training, and even the older owls's wings drooped and sagged in apparent horror.

"They said they picked the owlets up from the Beaks. Turns out there was a small band of owls they had to fight too. Big, ragged battle claws... they brought a few pairs back, and they looked... horrible, just horrible. Who could have made claws like that, Dodger?" Caedes asked quietly from behind him. Truth was, he had no clue.

"I dunno, Caedes, I just," he paused, clicking his beak impatiently for an answer, a word, something that could replace his friends worry with fear, "I don't know. Something doesn't feel right here, my gizzard isn't liking this..."

"That makes two of us," she shook her head in response.

It's been ages since the end of the Battle of the Ice Claws, surely, the Pure Ones couldn't have done this? It's been too long, far too long, for anybody to have decided to take action now. So who are they?

Silently, they watched the two other owlets be lifted from the basket in careful talons, and this time, he couldn't keep the horror from invading every inch of his mind. This time, he retched.

One owlet's entire foot was missing, soaked in less blood, but considerably wrong for any animal to be missing their own foot. The second was brought out and was even further disfigured than the one with a missing wing. This time, the bloodbath hadn't stopped at one. This time, both wings had been torn clean off.

Gasping for air, Dodger dove off of the platform and took to his wings, desperately trying to rid his mind with the image of the owlets.


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Sat Feb 04, 2023 8:47 pm
foxmaster wrote a review...



Hi, there: foxmaster leaving a review.
Fist f all, I have never read this actual series, only the side books, such as, "Bears of the ice" or "Wolves of the beyond" so please let me know if am i wrong about some of the things I typed.
"The dusk sky was gold, riveted with swaths of color, accented with thin, but fluffy clouds. While the sun set, Dodger decided to be up early, preening his feathers and blinking against the light."
Oh that is some nice description there. When it says that he is up early, I was confused, but then not, because if I had not read the other series and knew about owls, I would have not said early. Stupid me.
"Now, this had particularly ruffled his feathers. Even when they had brought him in as a young owlet, there certainly wasn't all of this commotion, and not so urgent a note in his voice. Given that Dodger was for the most part well, that could only mean that these small things would have to be seriously injured if not near death."
Is that jealousy I hear?;p He sounds concerned, too although you don't get to that 'till later.
"The moon was rising, cascading silver dancing silvers across the surface."
I have to agree with felistia on that one. You did not need to add the
"Dancing silvers"
on that, is sounds a bit strange.
"Immediately, this set his gizzard churning against his will, and he had to swallow to keep his breakfast down. The blood had stemmed from the stump that was previously the owlet's right wing, slicking the downy grey feathers. Its face seemed to have survived another attack, only a thin scratch combing across the bridge above its beak."
Oh, that was described in some detail... Sounds like a villain.
OVERALL: great job on this. I liked it and hope the next chapter will come out soon. Also, if you could read my new short story, "The school for magical spies" or "the accidental Magic," great!
-foxmaster




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Sat Aug 26, 2017 6:14 am
felistia wrote a review...



Hi, Felistia here with a review for you on this wonderful day. :D (Apologizes if this review isn't good. I'm a little rusty.)


Grammar and Punctuation

By now, the moon was rising, cascading silver dancing slivers across the surface.
I think there's a small mistake here when it comes to the cascading silver. It sounds like the
dancing silvers
shouldn't be there.

Overall thoughts

Chapter plot: (Please note that I haven't read the books you're basing the story on, so I can't be of much help when it comes to the fan-fiction side of it.:D) I liked how to start the story of at a easy pace letting me get used to the characters and get into the world. You also didn't linger on the small talk, but let it hang just long enough that it let me bond with the characters, but not so long that it became boring. My only problem was that the last bit of the story went really fast and I didn't have much time to let it sink in. Maybe draw it out just a little bit more.

Characters: The dialogue presented in this chapter is great as in it matches the owls ages and doesn't feel immature in nature. Each owl has it's own unique style of dialogue which adds to their character.

On the note of dialogue, I love the bit's between the dialogue
he admitted, tilting his head slightly as he reflected the question,
It helps me picture what each character is doing as they talk and helps break up the dialogue.

It's only the first chapter, but I think I know a little bit about Dodger's character already. He seems different from the other owlets and want's something different with his life. I'll have to read more to go deeper, but you're off to a great start.


Description: First off I have to say that you have a great eye for description. The opening paragraph was brilliant and pulled me in straight away. I like that you mingle the description with the characters actions. It makes it more interesting and not a description dump.

Your description of the owls is also great, because you pay attention to the details, from the feathers to the way the owls fly. It makes the story feel more realistic and easy to get stuck into.


Overall this was a great chapter and I look forward to the next one. Never stop writing and I hope you have a great day\night. :D

Your friend, Felistia. :D

This review courtesy of Image






I went on a long hiatus but I'm so glad to hear your feedback! I'm definitely going to continue with it since I've gotten such positive reviews! I'll let you know when the next chapter is out, thanks so much for reading it!!! :)



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Fri Aug 18, 2017 3:12 am
Samk642 wrote a review...



Samk642 here!!!

As I popped into the green room looking for a delicious read, you gave me this wonderful treat!! Thank you!

Now to the meat of the post, I like the work, and the description with the owls. One question, is, where is Soren, Twilight, Gylfie, Digger. The Band!!! Surely some would be teachers. The mauling of the owlets does intriuge me though, who did this. A new faction, the pure ones, or hagsfiends? I like the suspense!!!! What's next. How will out hero deal with the sights of war? How will it move him. Any old characters coming back? If not, how long ago was the reign of Soren?

Just some thoughts, notes, and ideas!! All in all, loved it, and keep it up!! Samk642 out!!

P.S. pm when chapter 2 is out, would love to read it!!





He who knows only his own generation remains forever a child.
— Cicero