Published January 24, 2010
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140,905 Literary Works • 673,714 Reviews
Woah. I would love to review this, but it is very long. That intimidates a lot of reviewers on YWS. Try breaking it up by chapter (I think I saw four chapters in this post?) and you will get a lot more reviews. Send a PM my way if you break it up and I'd be glad to review it
-Lauren
Its really long but I'll review the first bit for now. The beginning is really eye-catching you wonder what could of happened to this person if they can't remember their families names. I found a typo
and another your conjoining the words. I like your descriptions especially I think your space bar must be faulty : Love the way imogene calls her stepfather "stepfather" Its a classic story about what must happen to a lot of girls whose parents remarry. Its believable and realistic. I didn't read it all but i can say nice start and keep writing. If this is just the first chapter then its way too long if its the whole story then consider separating it into chapters. Trust me i made the same mistake when i posted 3 chapters in one of my story- people told me that they either didn't have time or couldn't be bothered reading it all. Anyway it sounds really good so far